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Suicide and depression

Pandora

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My best friend committed suicide on New Years eve. He was deeply depressed for a while now but he seemed like he was coming out of it. We had just talked and hung out a couple days earlier. I just wanted to know the mindset of anyone that has gone thru real clinical depression. I know medically its an imbalance of neurotransmitters, but i was wondering if anyone has recovered without the use of medication. He was vehemently against meds (he was on them before), and i was wondering if that would have saved him.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Bible_Belt

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Sorry about the loss of your friend.

My take on suicidal depression is that it's never a rational, logical thought process. Suicidal thoughts and depression are both causes and effects of each other. Wanting to kill yourself is depressing, and it becomes a downward spiral.

Was he on anti-depressants before? The irony of those meds is that they actually increase the risk of suicide, especially in younger people. I don't know that there are effective medications for his condition that wouldn't have incapacitated him.
 

Colossus

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Bible_Belt said:
Was he on anti-depressants before? The irony of those meds is that they actually increase the risk of suicide, especially in younger people. I don't know that there are effective medications for his condition that wouldn't have incapacitated him.
Well the problem with increased suicidal ideation in young people on antidepressants lie not so much in their use, but in their abrupt cessation. The Columbine killers were both on ADs and stopped shortly before the massacre, I believe. You can see similar stories in many young individuals who go on a sociopathic spree or commit suicide.


OP, I am very sorry for your loss. It sounds tragic for everybody.
 

Gaucho

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Bible_Belt said:
My take on suicidal depression is that it's never a rational, logical thought process. Suicidal thoughts and depression are both causes and effects of each other. Wanting to kill yourself is depressing, and it becomes a downward spiral.
It can actually be a long, thought out process. And the fallacy of those who say they will kill themselves don't is not true either.

My Dad suffered deep depression for many many years (perhaps 10) and in the end, took his own life (I wrote about it on this board under a different username many years back now).

Another reason your friend may have seemed like he was 'coming out of it' leading upto his death, is that a lot of people who know they are going to kill themselves, actually behave very well as they feel a sense of freedom going into the suicide. Very odd, but this is how they think.

My Dad tried all kinds of medication, but none seemed to do anything. From what I hear though, shock treatment is the best bet, but because of the stigma about this due to the movies, a lot of depressed people refuse to take the treatment. My Dad never tried it unfortunately for the same reasons.

Sorry for your loss. Suicide in young people is a lot harder to handle I think.

All the best, keep your chin up.
 

Marvin Gaye

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Negative thoughts down the drain just relax, let t
Really sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sure the holidays wouldn't help a depressed person.

From what I've studied about depression, it's most prevalent in people 20-30. Depression will usually cure itself in about 6 months. Drugs make the sitation way worse, including alcohol.

Your friend sounds like he was a smart guy if he was against medication. It's not always the solution for everybody. In my opinion medication is best for older folk whose bodies have worn out, not for young and healthy individuals. It's really a shame he didn't get the help he deserved, but I hope your coping well pandora
 

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Pandora

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Thanks alot for the responses guys. Its cool to know others can relate. Yes, he was on Antidepressants and maybe anti psychotics before. He had also exhibited schizophrenic paranoia. He hated the way the drugs made him feel ( family told me today). As men its often tough for us to admit that we need help with a mental disorder, especially for military/ ex military guys.
 

Burroughs

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Very sorry about your friend.

I swear to god in 5 years when I am where I want to be financially...I will take the entire winter season off and go to Tahiti just to get away from holiday bull$hit. The holidays seemed designed to fvck with our minds, god forbid you don't have a perfect family to go home to.
 

Zodiac

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Pandora said:
My best friend committed suicide on New Years eve. He was deeply depressed for a while now but he seemed like he was coming out of it. We had just talked and hung out a couple days earlier. I just wanted to know the mindset of anyone that has gone thru real clinical depression. I know medically its an imbalance of neurotransmitters, but i was wondering if anyone has recovered without the use of medication. He was vehemently against meds (he was on them before), and i was wondering if that would have saved him.
I had a time where I could do nothing but sleep, barely eat, dropped out of college and couldn't hold down a job. I never liked Meds and refused to take any unless it was like antibiotics for an infection (And only enough to stop it so I wouldn't gain an immunity so later on I'd get sicker and have no defense against the sickness.) I tried the Meds because my family was worried about me and while the Doctors told me it takes a month for you to adjust to the Meds I stayed with my family so they could give me outside observations. Meds made it worse. I had too many suicidal thoughts that I stopped taking them because my Dad took them away from me and flushed them.

What made me snap out of it and get back out there: working out. No matter how bad I felt I would make myself go to the gym a few times a week until it became routine so I wouldn't have to make myself and then I went a few more days a week. Honestly it all depends on the person as many people might like to read books or others like myself feel better after a run.
 

Warrior74

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It is hard for men to ask for help. We have this little thing call pride which can mess us up big time. But it also lets us push forward to do knew things. Double sided sword.
 

backbreaker

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I went through a pretty dark period towards the end of my drug use, when I wanted to stop but couldn't yet. Also, just the chemical effects crack has on the body, it will send you into a deep deep depression 2 days - 1 week after use which is one of the reasons it's such a hard nut to crack.

I have always been anti drugs as well, I don't take them now, but in retrospect I probably could have used some anti depressants. I was chemically imbalanced

I believe if a person is chemically imbalanced, they do need and should take anti depressants. It's really no joke. The **** I thought about during those times.
 

Super Hero

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How to overcome depression

This post is for guys who feel depressed at times...


Well I wanted to make a new thread about this but my limit to start a new thread has reached(mods?).



Four years ago, I suffered a depression that nearly
killed me... and this is exactly how I got out for good:

I know this may sound trite to someone suffering this
terrible condition, but there are literally only three
steps:


1. Eat healthier. (fruits, veggies, lean meats etc)

I noticed that when I eat a big, healthy breakfast,
I feel MUCH better throughout my day.


2. Exercise EVERY morning.

Movement releases endorphins into your blood stream,
which cause you to feel good.

It also balances your blood sugar levels and "keeps you
right" physically and most importantly, EMOTIONALLY.

This step right here will improve your daily mindset more
than you know.

Make use of it.


3. Learn how to feel good, and PRACTICE feeling good
about things.

NLP can give you these tools... and so can The Gary
Halbert letter, believe it or not lol.

Now, if I'm having a bad day (which RARELY happens),
I read some Halbert (mainly his Killer Orgasms book) and
my bad mood changes.

Why?

Because even Halbert had bad days... and he managed to
become a success by thinking about his thinking.

The guy got wisdom in his words.



There are libraries FULL of books on how the mind works.


Make use of them.

You need to understand that depression is not a THING... you can't take out your depression and put it in a sealed box somewhere forever... If you could do this, you'd be rich...

So about "depression"...

It's a mental process you're running that's making you feel a certain way. Your internal images or movies and your internal dialog are configured in a way that you've tied to having certain feelings that you called depression.

There's a structure to depression...

for instance, some people TALK to themselves in a depressing tone of voice...and they say BAD things like:

"I'll NEVER be sexworthy"

or "I always FEEL LIKE ****"

or "I'm depressed"

So of course, you're BOMBARDING your unconscious with terrible suggestion and your brain continues this loop something fierce...

But Richard Bandler came along and invented another model that says this:

Hypnosis DOES change people for good... but HOW does it change people... what does the unconscious know that we don't yet know consciously...

His findings were miraculous. For instance:

If you change the SOUND of your internal voice, then you will feel different.

So just try shifting it right now to a sexy woman's voice:

'I'll...NEVER... BE sexworthy"

Feels different, right?

So the trick is you want to go through Bandler's body of work and really DO what he suggests you do.

Every sentence the man utters is a hypnotic language pattern... even "your unconscious" has multiple meaning... (You are unconscious... or your "unconscious mind"...)

So owhen you realize that somehow you've created this feeling of "depression" you can also create new, resourceful states of feeling better and better each and every day of your life...

And if some doctor cooked up the feeling of "depression," then you have every right to cook up something NEW to believe instead...
 

konmai

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Sorry for your loss, man.

There's really no telling if meds could have helped him. I've read stories about them doing the opposite, too. You just don't know really. There are good and bad ones and who knows if he would have taken the ones that were good for him.

I was pretty anti-meds or any kind of pill myself until I took a chance on a certain type. I feel tons better and wish I had discovered them earlier in life.
 
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