"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Suddenly went cold...help evaluate please!

nblue19

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Met this girl at an event and it turns out that she knows a good friend of mine. We met again with another person for brunch and we had a lot in common. I straight up asked her for coffee via text and she enthusiastically agreed. The date was okay, we found out that we had a lot in common, but I felt like I needed to smile more and tone down the interrogation. But, we never lost eye contact, we talked nonstop for 3 hours, so I left with a neutral feeling.

Then, I texted her next day and she was enthusiastic; it ended well. Two days later, she texted first and the text ended well. It was exam season, so I waited about a week and straight up asked her to go to the art gallery with me (she's an art history major and offered to go with me since I seemed so interested). She seemed excited to go; she had an appointment for dinner but could meet during lunch. We ended up staying at the museum for 5 hours; we talked at the coffee bar. There was good body language (we were sitting side-by-side and her body was pointed directly at me while i was 90 degrees from her; she laughed here and there; she wanted to hit me while laughing but I noticed she refrained). Throughout the date, she recalled small things I mentioned, she gave me a nickname, she asked genuine questions about me, really tried to get to know me, and said "hahaha omg why are you so funny??" She also showed me images of cars, paintings she likes, her brother...and talked about him for a while.

The night after our date, she texted me. I asked her what I should buy for my parents for xmas and she suggested some brands. I said I needed her eyes and she told me to call her. She offered to go with me, but she said she had prior plans with friends, so to just call anyway. We kept texting and it went really well. I sent her a few images of the presents I bought she okay'd, I thanked her and we ended well.

Then, I came to my hometown on December 19th. On Christmas, I sent her this text.

me: merry christmas
her: merry christmas~
me: hows new york, not too cold?
her: cold, very cold haha what are you doing
me: going boarding, haven't been in a long while
her: good good, must be fun
me: yea, anyway merry christmas!

New Years Text

me: *I send her two pictures of where I'm staying, Texas*
happy new year, it's texas
her: which one? oh haha i see, nice hahah looks pretty, is texas fun?
me: im just meeting friends, family, recalling memories, feels new.
your brother must miss you alot

- this was sent at 10pm, but she responded the next day at noon -

her: hahaha my brother has his friends
it's snowing so much here
me: stay warm, you'll catch a cold ;)
im scared to go back [where we both go to school]
her: hahaha this weather is nothing
you must be excited to go to [hawaii, i said i was going there]
me: yea hahaha not sure how im gonna recover for school
but you're graduating now right? congrats
her: spend your week [in hawaii] wisely
me: yeap, of course.

[end]

She seemed really enthusiastic before I left. Our texts were always smooth. She would always respond and I would always cut it first. So, the two texts I sent on Christmas and New Years come as a shock to me because she seemed so interested before.

Did I lose her? I feel like I'm boring her; her texts used to be quick, but the last two were really late, and I could feel her putting it off for the next day to "handle" it.

I'm going back to school in a week, and I will see her in 10 days; and, I plan to back off and not initiate anything.

Side note: she is very pretty; 9/10. I'm mediocre looking, but i'm in one of law/med school.

Overall, her responses were perfect before I left, but she suddenly turned cold judging by the last two texts. I'm guessing that when I left, she put me in the back of her mind, forgot about me. When I texted her, I seemed needy and boring; lowering her IL. Help me please!
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Kbomb

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You didn't physically escalate.
 

teddy

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Kbomb said:
You didn't physically escalate.
Yeah, that's a problem, but I don't think that's unrecoverable at this point. She had a good time with him the first couple times.

Here's what I suggest: go ghost for a bit, then hit her up a couple weeks later to go out again, but this time add some physicality to it.
 
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