Sudden urges to see ex

[For_F]

My long term relationship got fvcked off a few months ago when she broke up with me and for weeks I've been feeling great however I keep getting these random strong urges to do things like message her, unblock her on fb etc. I haven't acted on them and really don't see myself doing that because I have too much respect for myself but is this common?

Im over the moping and angry stages but every now and then I'll be out or at home and I'll have a sudden thought of her and become obsessed for a few minutes then it passes.

 

[betheman]

perfectly natural to have these feelings and urges, your mind will slip back to some of the good stuff and the feelings you had during the times with her.
they can be iritating because you want to move on but your mind seems to want to drag you back.
to counter it try and birng back some of the cr@p about her, the bad stuff, distract yourself, go for a run, use a punch bag whatever, the instances and strenght of the urges will diminish over time

 

[Sofomore]

Yes, this happens to me also. Just think back to why you dodged a bullet and what is wrong with her.

My ex was an immature attention wh0re and it wasn't until we broke up that I realized this. Just look at her negative qualities and it will comfort you. (Kind of fvcked up but it really helps)

 

[alpha_ash]

From How I met your mother:

"I remember how she used to make me feel, but I can't remember her face." (loosely, not an exact quote)

My point is that any decent human being is capable of providing that same feeling. You just need to invest and find that person.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

My long term relationship got fvcked off a few months ago when she broke up with me and for weeks I've been feeling great however I keep getting these random strong urges to do things like message her, unblock her on fb etc. I haven't acted on them and really don't see myself doing that because I have too much respect for myself but is this common?

Yes, it's normal. When you date someone long-term, part of your habitual daily routine involves doing something for/with her. Even though she broke it off, you are able to consciously move on from her, but your sub-conscious still has to get adjusted to not doing things for someone that's no longer there.

It's kind of like a baby that's been sucking pacifiers since birth. If their mom gets rid of all the pacifiers in the house, the baby will eventually realize it can't get anymore; however, the habit of putting something in their mouth and sucking on it is still very much a part of them since they did it habitually for years. This is why they usually resort to sucking their thumbs/fingers instead, and it can be YEARS before they finally stop doing it (I had one cousin stop when she was 17, how disturbing is THAT?!?).

So yeah, you'll have days when you want to do something nice for her or talk to her, even though you mentally get that you shouldn't because she dumped you. The important thing is to recognize what these urges are - habits you picked up while dating her vs. actual feelings of desire for her - and not act on them accordingly. Hope this helps!