Sudden Low Interest Level After 1 Day.

[BDDazza]

This is a long post, so I appreciate it if you can read it and give me feedback on how I handled this situation.

I've been gaming this girl for about 3 months and seeing this girl on a sexual level for about 2 months.

She used to love public displays of affection i.e. holding hands, hugging/kissing in the street, almost every time we met we had sex. I had her to the point where she was initiating meeting up and texting me everyday. If I didn't reply soon enough she'd double or even triple text to get my attention. Unless we was arranging a date I tried to wait a while before texting make myself appear busy, in reality a lot of the time I was too busy to reply immediately.

A few times she has referred to me as her boyfriend in front of acquaintances and introduced me to her best friend as her new BF, she once asked about our relationship status in front of an acquaintance to which I dodged the question and said I'm "friends" which everyone. Although she seemed a bit taken aback by my response we went on to have crazy foreplay that night.

She has told me on numerous times that she is attracted to me, my body and loves spending 1-on-1 time together. She even told me she loved me twice flippantly, which I sort of brushed off and ignored. At this point I was feeling a bit of pressure of her wanting to make our relationship official but I always brushed off commitment conversation because a serious relationship seemed a bit soon.

Fast forward to the last time we met up, everything is going fine, we head back to my house where we have sex twice as I drop her off I notice that her willingness to reciprocate public displays of affection suddenly drops and she tells me that she doesn't like kissing in public although she never stopped me kissing her in public. I found it strange because for the few weeks prior she had no issue with public displays of effection. Anyways the date ends, overall we had fun.

From this point on, she waited almost a week to text me, which is strange considering that she was initiating texting everyday obsessively before. I texted her to see what's up and she apologised and said she has been busy. In my mind I knew it was an excuse because girls are NEVER busy when their interest levels are high for a guy. Her initiating text messages became even less frequent. I was now instigating the text messages to bait her to join me for a date. I spread my text messages across a few days so I didn't appear desperate and needy and she always replied, she still initiated some text messages but not obsessively like in the pasts. She would sidestep meeting up again because she has reconnect with university friends and is partying with them in another city and hence too busy.

The other day, she texts me saying that she wanted to watch a movie. We arrange the day/time/film and we're in constant communication as we organise it. The very last minute, she tells me that she’s changed her mind because she doesn't want to spend money. I'm pissed off because I got dressed and I'm ready to leave but I didn't show my anger over the phone. I tell her we can hang out anyways and do something "free" and she declines. I let the issue go considering that she has never flaked on be before and has been reliable before.

So we haven't actually met for a few weeks now. I call her up to find out what she's doing over the weekend. She says she is joining her friends in another city to party. She said she would be back in a few days, but was unable to give me a specific day of her return. I was like "cool, tell me when you're back so we can hang out". In my head I'm thinking how does she have money to party with her friends in another city but doesnt have money to watch a film with me. She then gets a little defensive saying that she has no reason to hang out with me and the prospect of us to hanging out seems boring etc. - I found this strange because a few weeks prior she was literally begging for 1-on-1time. After a bit of probing she lets loose that these parties are with a huge group of boys and girls and that her "female friends" are pressuring her to reconnected with her ex boyfriend. She denied that she interested in her ex and said it's the past and will stay in the past.

I let the issue go and hang-up. A couple of hours later I text telling her other girls chasing me, but I still rather hang out with her. In an attempt to let her know that I have options. She then claims that she isn’t attracted to me (despite telling me she was a few weeks back). I told her that I’m not attracted her but still want to spend time with her. I tell her to contact me if she wants to meet up in the future. So I left the ball in her court. I shall be cutting all contact.

Thanks for reading, any advice on how I handled the situation. I can't trust her for a relationship but I wouldn’t mind manoeuvring us to a FB situation as I spin plates.

 

[mahoney]

could be any number of reasons why she has changed behavior, it does seem a little odd from the way that you have presented it. one possible explanation might be that she got to a point where she realized she was doing too much chasing and wanted to make it a bit more even - but that things sort of went wrong from that point on

I let the issue go and hang-up. A couple of hours later I text telling her other girls chasing me, but I still rather hang out with her. In an attempt to let her know that I have options.

^ this was a major mistake. this kind of thing never really works, it looks fake and it looks like you are trying too hard to tell her this. Also a person with options doesn't TELL one of the options about the other options!

So I left the ball in her court. I shall be cutting all contact.

this is a fairly common reaction but not quite the right one. the problem dudes have especially on here is they shift from overcontacting (or normal contact levels) bang into non-contact when a better approach would be "lower contact"

non-contact is either overly dramatic or sends a different message than the one you want to send (ok he doesnt like me anymore fair enough), and even if the girl is put out by it, they mostly dont react in the way you would want, its more likely to be "oh he's kinda been weird with me recently, whatever i'll leave him to it"

lower-contact is more manageable, its non-dramatic, it doesn't look like something you are doing intentionally, it shows (rather than tells) you have other options and the reason you are in contact less isn't because you like them less, you just have other exciting things on the go. also with lower-contact when they contact you should be as normal and as fun as before, make it that they are glad there was contact. in short - reduce the frequency of the contact, not the quality of the contact (if you reduce the quality also by being short or disinterested there doesn't become much for them to miss - contacting you has no reward)

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

Looked like an early clinger from the start. not a good chick to have as a gf.

why did you dodge being a bf if she was so great?

She avoids you, gives you excuses, and ignores you now. you honestlly think she will be an f buddy? the answer is no.

you were being needy when she wasn't texting you. you should of slowed down. why ask her to chill when she is giving you excuses? not smart. you should of went nc then you kept contacting her making it worse.

you kept chasing her when she got cold on you. bad move. dont do that. make her come to you. she knew you was being desperate. you should of had other chicks besides her to fill in the gap.

saying chicks are chasing you to her was a bad move. you saw her response to that, she didnt care.

you handled it pretty poorly after she went cold on you. should of kept it casual when she went cold.

she found some other guy or guys from the parties instead of you

you wont be getting anymore sex from her

the relationship is a def out of the picture as you can tell.

she is a hoe and you got what wanted out of her. be glad that you did. was she fat?

you seem too needy for this chick anyway and she saw that.

when she went cold you should of been banging others and put her on the back burner.

this chick would of been a bad gf. you can do better bro. use the hoes and get a quality gf. you dont want a hoe gf who cheats on you, just dont do the same mistakes and you will be fine.

you can count this chick out. use your plates if you have any and start looking for other chicks.

Happy Hunting!

 

[BDDazza]

why did you dodge being a bf if she was so great?

I only knew her for a few months and we've had only been serious for a few weeks at the time, so BF status was too soon. Once she had proven herself after a few more months I would of happily upgraded us to BF/GF.

She avoids you, gives you excuses, and ignores you now. you honestly think she will be an f buddy? the answer is no.

Your right.

But I'm anticipating that in a few weeks/months time when the ex grows tired of her and when her group of female friends stop whispering in her ear she'll run back to me as a FB of course. Not sure it works like this in reality though.

you were being needy when she wasn't texting you. you should of slowed down. why ask her to chill when she is giving you excuses? not smart. you should of went nc then you kept contacting her making it worse.

She was texting me and was initiated the messages, she then suddenly stopped for a few days. I noticed and started initiating but I slowed down communication and spread the messages over every other few days. She still initiated too but not obsessively like in the past. Although she wasn’t initiating as much she always replied almost immediately to me so I was unsure whether a full on no-contact was justified.

you kept chasing her when she got cold on you. bad move. don’t do that. make her come to you. she knew you was being desperate. you should of had other chicks besides her to fill in the gap.

That is very true, I should of showed higher value. I actually had another plate contact me recently and she was showing signs of wanting to smash, but me being my usual self didn’t follow through because I didn't want to cheat on my "main" girl. What a mistake.

saying chicks are chasing you to her was a bad move. you saw her response to that, she didn’t care.

So true. Shouldn't of said it. Should of demonstrated that girls found me desirable.

you handled it pretty poorly after she went cold on you. should of kept it casual when she went cold.

So true. I will remember that for next time.

she found some other guy or guys from the parties instead of you

What are the chances of her coming back as a FB when the other guy gets bored.

she is a hoe and you got what wanted out of her. be glad that you did. was she fat?

All I wanted was a FB, meet up once or twice a week and have regular sex. So I got want I wanted I guess. It was her that was pushing for a relationship, at least at first. She is a psycho lol.

No she isn't fat. Shes actually pretty hot. 7/10 I'd say.

when she went cold you should of been banging others and put her on the back burner.

Normally I would it's just that her change was so sudden it through me off guard.

this chick would of been a bad gf. you can do better bro. use the hoes and get a quality gf. You don’t want a hoe gf who cheats on you, just don’t do the same mistakes and you will be fine.

you can count this chick out. use your plates if you have any and start looking for other chicks.

Happy Hunting!

Thanks.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

I only knew her for a few months and we've had only been serious for a few weeks at the time, so BF status was too soon. Once she had proven herself after a few more months I would of happily upgraded us to BF/GF.


(seems like she wanted to be official real soon. a lot of younger girls are like that. they give it up and want a bf. she sounds like a clinger. they see the guy doesnt want that after they are having sex that soon so they look for a new guy because they want a bf. how old is she?)


Your right.

But I'm anticipating that in a few weeks/months time when the ex grows tired of her and when her group of female friends stop whispering in her ear she'll run back to me as a FB of course. Not sure it works like this in reality though.


(she could but if she is hot and has a supply of other guys then she will bounce to them. you also lowered her IL with your needy behavior so that works against you. they arent permanent so you get as much out of them as you can.)

I have mine in 3 categories

1. my regulars (whenever they want it or i want it they come running)
2. my occasional (these girls i have been with at least 3 times not as often)
3. the drifters (these girls i get the most out of because you never know when they will drift on)

(the drifters are the new girls that come into the rotation so i get my use out of them. then if they prove themselves they can be moved up to regulars or occasional. Because I know with those 2 that they wont flake or drift away at anytime.)


She was texting me and was initiated the messages, she then suddenly stopped for a few days. I noticed and started initiating but I slowed down communication and spread the messages over every other few days. She still initiated too but not obsessively like in the past. Although she wasn’t initiating as much she always replied almost immediately to me so I was unsure whether a full on no-contact was justified.

(when she slowed down you dont want to contact her. let her contact you and reply to what she gives you)


That is very true, I should of showed higher value. I actually had another plate contact me recently and she was showing signs of wanting to smash, but me being my usual self didn’t follow through because I didn't want to cheat on my "main" girl. What a mistake.

(that was. unless she was your gf you can do what you want to do. i bet she was doing other guys besides you)


So true. Shouldn't of said it. Should of demonstrated that girls found me desirable.

(yes and let her see you talking and being with those girls)


So true. I will remember that for next time.



What are the chances of her coming back as a FB when the other guy gets bored.

(she had high IL before and then lost it. depends on the girl and how she still views you. you acted needy and that turned her off. esp with that text you sent about the girls chasing you. so that lowers your chances. i had f buddies drift and come back. thats why i call them drifters. i didnt text and chase them they came back. you did. so youre in a bad spot. seems like you have a thing for this chick more than just an fb. with f buddies dont get attached because they arent permanent forever. if she has time away from you and gets bored then maybe a slight chance. but if she has low IL like she does now and there are plenty of other guys i wouldnt get my hopes too high)



All I wanted was a FB, meet up once or twice a week and have regular sex. So I got want I wanted I guess. It was her that was pushing for a relationship, at least at first. She is a psycho lol.

No she isn't fat. Shes actually pretty hot. 7/10 I'd say.


(she sounded like it to me. then be glad you got what you wanted out of her and be done. normal chicks dont push like that. only younger girls who feel like a hoe because they give it up fast want a relationship to make themselves feel better. was she into the sex twice a week?)


Normally I would it's just that her change was so sudden it through me off guard.

(chicks like that bounce around a lot and are looking for fun. thats why i call them drifters because they are with you for a short time and then drift away
or drift from guy to guy when they are with you. use them while you can and get some more. dont catch any feelings for them and dont take them seriously. thats how to do it. if she was great in the sack it sucks to lose that but you will always get more)


Thanks.[/

(no problem. just dont text her or call and see if you ever hear from her.
if you do dont start up too fast. be cool and dont text or call to fast or too much. give what she gives you)


note:::My replies are in the ( )