Ok, so this weekend, I stayed the night at my girl-friend's house. We were going to sleep together (not sex, just sleep) just because it's a romantic setting. Now before I continue, let me let you know a few things I come to realize about this girl.
- She is VERY cautious and does not want to be used for sex. She has been used and cheated on in the past and loathes it.
- She wants me a whole lot, and has even spouted out meaningful "I love you." 's.
- She won't date me, for the soul reason that she feels that will increase her attachment to me exponentially, and I'm leaving for the Air Force in two months. (I'm still working on this. If I can get her to follow me to where the Air Force takes me, this will be a huge investment on her part and a good way to make our relationship mean much more to her.)
These things were all told to me laying in her bed one day, after some pretty heavy making out sessions, you know, the ones where you can feel yourself falling for the other person? We talked about those type of things, never breaking eye contact, very serious stuff. I take this as her true beliefs on things.
She lives with 5 other people, roommates. She is 17 and I'm 18. One of her room mates, I'll call him Bob, is 26 years old. He kinda runs things there. She's always had a thing for him, known him for a couple of years now. She's never denied this to me, and I didn't mind that, it would be an interesting challenge to bump him out of the way. In my opinion, Bob is a prick. He lets her sleep with him. They've had sex twice. They've been sleeping in the same room for a year. Wrong, in my opinion. This girl has issues with conscienceness. She gets bad migranes at times, and they can make her pass out. Her and her mom have talked to me about this.
Anyways, back to the story.
So I took her home from work at midnight (we work together) and she offered that I stay the night over with her because I "had to be back to get [her] at 7:30 in the morning, and it would just make sense for [me] to stay [there]." ...With a twinkle in her eye and a smirk on her face. I gladly accepted, and we got into bed together. I wasn't going to push for sex, though we did do some very nice making out and groping. I was getting ready to go to sleep when she started to complain of a bad headache. I told her she should get some medicine, offered to get it for her, but she said she had to get some excedrin from Bob. So I laid in bed, waiting for her to come back. 5, 10, and finally 15 minutes passed. I was starting to wonder if she was comming back, if she was OK, etc. Bob's room was right next to hers, and I heard her say something "go back to Koc123, he's here to be with me" and I heard Bob say something about she couldn't. I thought this was strange, but I wasn't going to be nosy, so I just sat up in her bed. Another 15 minutes passed. Then I started to hear something again. Girl sex noises. You know what I'm talking about. I FILLED with rage. (I'd been cheated on in the past. I thought this girl had respect and decency, and would not do anything like this. We weren't technically dating, I know, but she'd told me that she wouldn't do anything like this to me as long as we still cared deeply for eachother) I couldn't believe what was going on. I do remember thinking that it could be someone else (like her sister, whos room was across the hall, and she's always doing something sexual) and the sound was coming from the door instead of through the wall. And when I've fingered her in the past, she was very quiet. But I couldn't stop thinking that Bob and the girl were sitting there fcuking eachother's brains out, while I sat like a damn FOOL in a ****ty bed all alone. The rage and adreneline kept me up all night. She came in at 6, to get some clothes and take a shower. I just stared at her, right in the eye, not saying a thing. I was shaking from anger, and she didn't speak, she just avoided my eyes after realizing I wasn't very happy, and slinked off to shower. I showered after her, and then I went out and sat in my car, after telling her I was leaving in 5 minutes. She came out there, and I began to drive. She finally asked me what was wrong, and I said "I don't know what's bothering me more, the fact that I didn't get a wink of sleep because I was sleeping in a cold room alone, or hearing Bob fcuk your brains out last night."
At this point, she became UBER pissed off at me, saying **** like "WTF?! HOW COULD YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH BULL****!?!??!" Yelling at me. I responded with "I dunno how I could accuse someone who openly confessed to loving someone, going into his room, being really LOUD while getting fcuked so that the whole house could hear it, and never coming back in the room with me?"
She was very fcuking pissed that I accused her of this. She said she was very insulted that I thought she would do something like that, that she absoutely did NOT do anything with Bob, and that she passed out in his room from her migrane, and he wouldn't let her go back last night because he was worried. I sat quietly, thinking about it, still mad as fcuk. What she said wasn't too out of wack. I viewed the passing out thing as a cop out to sleep with him at first, but then I realized, why would she invite me in just to do that?
At that point, I had two options.
Not believe her, continue to be pissed off, ruin any chance of a relationship with a girl I seriously care about, or...
Kiss her ass, **** out my ego, gain control of my emotions like a true DJ and amend my reaction to what was obvioulsy a misunderstanding, and keep her.
I chose the latter, and it was a good decision.
I talked to her, told her that I overreacted, that I was just scared that I was screwed again, and that i wouldn't have thought that if I didnt HEAR fcuking going on somewhere. She's reasonable, and this calmed her down. She was still upset with me, but how I acted, and how much a woman reflects how a man acts, helped me turn the situation around.
I wasn't afraid to admit I was wrong. I wasn't a slobbering crybaby, but I was firm, I admitted what I did was wrong, and did it IN A GOOD MOOD.
After apologies were accepted, it was obvious that she was still a little distraught from the whole thing. I made sure to radiate a playful, cheerful mood. A GOOD mood. She started to warm up.
After work, and a few boring errands, we went back to her house. The day with her would have ended much earlier if not for my actions. We played Need For Speed. She kicked my ass. We played Duck Hunt. We awarded eachother with kisses for each kill we got. Keeping up a good mood, even after not sleeping for more than 24 hours, I was rewarded with the knowledge that it WAS her sister getting her fcuk on, and very passionate making out, her singing to me, and her saying that she wants to try waiting for me when I go off to the Air Force.
Was it hard to put out that good mood? At first, YES. That is why I say suck it up. All good things take work to achieve. But when she starts to respond to your mood (and she WILL) it becomes much easier. Does she look bored when you take her out on a date? Don't get depressed and think you're a failure. Have fun! She'll pick up on it! Make sure to include her though.
Harness your emotions, radiate positiveness, and you will get the response that your ego needs from her.
- She is VERY cautious and does not want to be used for sex. She has been used and cheated on in the past and loathes it.
- She wants me a whole lot, and has even spouted out meaningful "I love you." 's.
- She won't date me, for the soul reason that she feels that will increase her attachment to me exponentially, and I'm leaving for the Air Force in two months. (I'm still working on this. If I can get her to follow me to where the Air Force takes me, this will be a huge investment on her part and a good way to make our relationship mean much more to her.)
These things were all told to me laying in her bed one day, after some pretty heavy making out sessions, you know, the ones where you can feel yourself falling for the other person? We talked about those type of things, never breaking eye contact, very serious stuff. I take this as her true beliefs on things.
She lives with 5 other people, roommates. She is 17 and I'm 18. One of her room mates, I'll call him Bob, is 26 years old. He kinda runs things there. She's always had a thing for him, known him for a couple of years now. She's never denied this to me, and I didn't mind that, it would be an interesting challenge to bump him out of the way. In my opinion, Bob is a prick. He lets her sleep with him. They've had sex twice. They've been sleeping in the same room for a year. Wrong, in my opinion. This girl has issues with conscienceness. She gets bad migranes at times, and they can make her pass out. Her and her mom have talked to me about this.
Anyways, back to the story.
So I took her home from work at midnight (we work together) and she offered that I stay the night over with her because I "had to be back to get [her] at 7:30 in the morning, and it would just make sense for [me] to stay [there]." ...With a twinkle in her eye and a smirk on her face. I gladly accepted, and we got into bed together. I wasn't going to push for sex, though we did do some very nice making out and groping. I was getting ready to go to sleep when she started to complain of a bad headache. I told her she should get some medicine, offered to get it for her, but she said she had to get some excedrin from Bob. So I laid in bed, waiting for her to come back. 5, 10, and finally 15 minutes passed. I was starting to wonder if she was comming back, if she was OK, etc. Bob's room was right next to hers, and I heard her say something "go back to Koc123, he's here to be with me" and I heard Bob say something about she couldn't. I thought this was strange, but I wasn't going to be nosy, so I just sat up in her bed. Another 15 minutes passed. Then I started to hear something again. Girl sex noises. You know what I'm talking about. I FILLED with rage. (I'd been cheated on in the past. I thought this girl had respect and decency, and would not do anything like this. We weren't technically dating, I know, but she'd told me that she wouldn't do anything like this to me as long as we still cared deeply for eachother) I couldn't believe what was going on. I do remember thinking that it could be someone else (like her sister, whos room was across the hall, and she's always doing something sexual) and the sound was coming from the door instead of through the wall. And when I've fingered her in the past, she was very quiet. But I couldn't stop thinking that Bob and the girl were sitting there fcuking eachother's brains out, while I sat like a damn FOOL in a ****ty bed all alone. The rage and adreneline kept me up all night. She came in at 6, to get some clothes and take a shower. I just stared at her, right in the eye, not saying a thing. I was shaking from anger, and she didn't speak, she just avoided my eyes after realizing I wasn't very happy, and slinked off to shower. I showered after her, and then I went out and sat in my car, after telling her I was leaving in 5 minutes. She came out there, and I began to drive. She finally asked me what was wrong, and I said "I don't know what's bothering me more, the fact that I didn't get a wink of sleep because I was sleeping in a cold room alone, or hearing Bob fcuk your brains out last night."
At this point, she became UBER pissed off at me, saying **** like "WTF?! HOW COULD YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH BULL****!?!??!" Yelling at me. I responded with "I dunno how I could accuse someone who openly confessed to loving someone, going into his room, being really LOUD while getting fcuked so that the whole house could hear it, and never coming back in the room with me?"
She was very fcuking pissed that I accused her of this. She said she was very insulted that I thought she would do something like that, that she absoutely did NOT do anything with Bob, and that she passed out in his room from her migrane, and he wouldn't let her go back last night because he was worried. I sat quietly, thinking about it, still mad as fcuk. What she said wasn't too out of wack. I viewed the passing out thing as a cop out to sleep with him at first, but then I realized, why would she invite me in just to do that?
At that point, I had two options.
Not believe her, continue to be pissed off, ruin any chance of a relationship with a girl I seriously care about, or...
Kiss her ass, **** out my ego, gain control of my emotions like a true DJ and amend my reaction to what was obvioulsy a misunderstanding, and keep her.
I chose the latter, and it was a good decision.
I talked to her, told her that I overreacted, that I was just scared that I was screwed again, and that i wouldn't have thought that if I didnt HEAR fcuking going on somewhere. She's reasonable, and this calmed her down. She was still upset with me, but how I acted, and how much a woman reflects how a man acts, helped me turn the situation around.
I wasn't afraid to admit I was wrong. I wasn't a slobbering crybaby, but I was firm, I admitted what I did was wrong, and did it IN A GOOD MOOD.
After apologies were accepted, it was obvious that she was still a little distraught from the whole thing. I made sure to radiate a playful, cheerful mood. A GOOD mood. She started to warm up.
After work, and a few boring errands, we went back to her house. The day with her would have ended much earlier if not for my actions. We played Need For Speed. She kicked my ass. We played Duck Hunt. We awarded eachother with kisses for each kill we got. Keeping up a good mood, even after not sleeping for more than 24 hours, I was rewarded with the knowledge that it WAS her sister getting her fcuk on, and very passionate making out, her singing to me, and her saying that she wants to try waiting for me when I go off to the Air Force.
Was it hard to put out that good mood? At first, YES. That is why I say suck it up. All good things take work to achieve. But when she starts to respond to your mood (and she WILL) it becomes much easier. Does she look bored when you take her out on a date? Don't get depressed and think you're a failure. Have fun! She'll pick up on it! Make sure to include her though.
Harness your emotions, radiate positiveness, and you will get the response that your ego needs from her.