"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Success with coverting a friend to a romance?

S

speakeasy

Master Don Juan
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I'll try and keep this short. There is a girl I've been friends with for the last 10 years. I always thought she was a cool fun chic but was never really attracted to her up until about a year ago and then I started developing serious feelings for her. In the last few years, she has lost weight, got herself in shape, changed her style and has started to look pretty damn sexy to me. Now that combined with the fact that I already think she is a cool chic means I started to feel really attracted to her. There are times in the past where I felt like she had a spark for me, then just as quick, she can start flaking on me and acting standoffish. At this moment in time I know she is not interested in me in that way from the way she behaves around me. Though I know she holds me in good esteem as a friend. But then she is single and looking and so am I and it just makes so much sense to me because we both enjoy the same things, have the same values, already respect each as friends and can have a good time around one another. It seems like just a natural thing to feel attraction. But it doesn't seem to work that way with women unfortunately. laddertheory.com goes into more detail why.

I know that that trying to do a "conversion" from friend to romance the odds are not in your favor, but what do you think I could do to improve my odds? I guess I've got a bit of oneitis myself right now. But seriously, as cheesy as this sounds, everything I think about her I can feel my face starting to smile. Lately, I've tried just disappearing out her life. Not calling, not inviting her places. She's now curious as to why I haven't been keeping in touch. I remember David DeAngelo once said "give her the gift of missing you".
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

speakeasy

Master Don Juan
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Come on, anyone? Somebody out there must have found a way to turn a female friend into romance.
 
T

The Juan and only

Master Don Juan
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Actually, all my girlfriends have been friends first.

hugging, a lot of hugging and kino. That's the key imo.

also, unless you've just grabbed her for a hug because you decided you wanted one right then, act like you aren't all that interested -- i.e don't hang around her all the time, flirt with other girls in the group etc.

also, read the bible man, it's full of great tips.
 
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