Long..sorry.
I succeeded at changing completely the way I would react to a more "DJ" way of reacting. Also, my after feelings are successfully changed.
The story:
I had a previous post on this forum, somewhere about this girl I asked a long time ago to come with me this sunday to the shore (I live in New Jersey, USA). Then, she said yes, but I knew that didn't actually mean yes. She cancelled on me so many times so I expected it again this time. So .. here is the dialog (from what I can remember) when I called her yesterday. I also have not spoken to her since I asked her about a month ago.
ME-Hi XXXX
HER-Hi! What's up
ME-Sorry I'm calling you late but I didn't come home until now and I probably won't be able to speak to you until Sunday.
HER-That's okay
-quick random chat for like ... 2 minutes
ME-So what's going on with this Sunday? You still want to go, or what? (wondering what her excuse for not going will be)
HER-This Sunday...Sunday? OOHH! Sunday!
- She goes on now for about 3 minutes explaining why she can't go. She has to go to Boston instead to look at colleges. She was like "I know I keep doing this to you and I'm so sorry" I didn't utter a single word.
HER-Say something...
ME-*sigh*
HER-That sounds like a sigh of disappointment...
ME-No it's anger..
HER-Anger?
ME-Put it this way ... if I was enough of an ******* (im working on it) I'd hang up on you right now.
HER-Oh but you wouldn't do that.. (DAMN I should have) I'm not leaving until late afternoon on Sunday ...
ME-No forget it, I told you, it was going to be an entire-day thing.
HER-Can you tell me now where you were going to take me?
ME-I was going to bring us down to the shore for the day.
HER-Oh, that's nice - she said some other crap about it but I can't remember.
ME-This was the only time we could go also. You can't go on any other sunday and I can't go on any other day.
HER-What about towards the end of the school year?
ME-No it probably won't work out.
HER-Well I'm sorry, I know I keep doing this to you and I want to do something...
ME-Well you know what? That's bull****. I don't buy this 'busy' crap from you.
HER-I AM interested ----
ME-cutting her off - NO ... you obviously aren't
HER- That's not true don't say that.
-Ah this goes on for a couple of minutes.. I end up yelling at her saying:
ME- You know what? I don't want to deal with this anymore. I am the only one pursuing this crap because you basically tell me to and it doesn't work because I don't know when you aren't busy. YOU know it so YOU have to TELL ME when YOU can do things. Frankly, I don't give a **** anymore. I'm done with this ...
-some other random things for 2 more minutes then we both have to go...
HER- I have to go get ready
ME- That's fine I have to go take a shower anyway and get ready myself, Bye.
HER- Have a nice evening
ME- Yeah... you too (im practiaclly muttering the last few lines)
HER- begins to say something but I cut her off by hanging up.
So why is this an accomplishment? Well my reaction to her saying she can't before sosuave.com would be "oh its alright we'll just try some other time" and I'd probably support whatever reason she can't and I wouldn't show anger. This time I put several new messages across:
1. I AM ANGRY.
2. I won't be talking to her or trying to schedule something with her anymore.
Only thing I regret was not hanging up on her when she said she couldn't. I told myself before I called her that I would, but it's hard to hang up on her because she sounds too nice and innocent and stuff.
So is this a success or not? Obvioulsy no success with woman, but in self improvement?
I succeeded at changing completely the way I would react to a more "DJ" way of reacting. Also, my after feelings are successfully changed.
The story:
I had a previous post on this forum, somewhere about this girl I asked a long time ago to come with me this sunday to the shore (I live in New Jersey, USA). Then, she said yes, but I knew that didn't actually mean yes. She cancelled on me so many times so I expected it again this time. So .. here is the dialog (from what I can remember) when I called her yesterday. I also have not spoken to her since I asked her about a month ago.
ME-Hi XXXX
HER-Hi! What's up
ME-Sorry I'm calling you late but I didn't come home until now and I probably won't be able to speak to you until Sunday.
HER-That's okay
-quick random chat for like ... 2 minutes
ME-So what's going on with this Sunday? You still want to go, or what? (wondering what her excuse for not going will be)
HER-This Sunday...Sunday? OOHH! Sunday!
- She goes on now for about 3 minutes explaining why she can't go. She has to go to Boston instead to look at colleges. She was like "I know I keep doing this to you and I'm so sorry" I didn't utter a single word.
HER-Say something...
ME-*sigh*
HER-That sounds like a sigh of disappointment...
ME-No it's anger..
HER-Anger?
ME-Put it this way ... if I was enough of an ******* (im working on it) I'd hang up on you right now.
HER-Oh but you wouldn't do that.. (DAMN I should have) I'm not leaving until late afternoon on Sunday ...
ME-No forget it, I told you, it was going to be an entire-day thing.
HER-Can you tell me now where you were going to take me?
ME-I was going to bring us down to the shore for the day.
HER-Oh, that's nice - she said some other crap about it but I can't remember.
ME-This was the only time we could go also. You can't go on any other sunday and I can't go on any other day.
HER-What about towards the end of the school year?
ME-No it probably won't work out.
HER-Well I'm sorry, I know I keep doing this to you and I want to do something...
ME-Well you know what? That's bull****. I don't buy this 'busy' crap from you.
HER-I AM interested ----
ME-cutting her off - NO ... you obviously aren't
HER- That's not true don't say that.
-Ah this goes on for a couple of minutes.. I end up yelling at her saying:
ME- You know what? I don't want to deal with this anymore. I am the only one pursuing this crap because you basically tell me to and it doesn't work because I don't know when you aren't busy. YOU know it so YOU have to TELL ME when YOU can do things. Frankly, I don't give a **** anymore. I'm done with this ...
-some other random things for 2 more minutes then we both have to go...
HER- I have to go get ready
ME- That's fine I have to go take a shower anyway and get ready myself, Bye.
HER- Have a nice evening
ME- Yeah... you too (im practiaclly muttering the last few lines)
HER- begins to say something but I cut her off by hanging up.
So why is this an accomplishment? Well my reaction to her saying she can't before sosuave.com would be "oh its alright we'll just try some other time" and I'd probably support whatever reason she can't and I wouldn't show anger. This time I put several new messages across:
1. I AM ANGRY.
2. I won't be talking to her or trying to schedule something with her anymore.
Only thing I regret was not hanging up on her when she said she couldn't. I told myself before I called her that I would, but it's hard to hang up on her because she sounds too nice and innocent and stuff.
So is this a success or not? Obvioulsy no success with woman, but in self improvement?
