Success: Gaining trust, am I on the right track?

[Lynx nkaf]

A few standards I hold myself to in order to gain trust.(pick any situation, place or scenario in life)

1. Honesty and accountability without attitude.
2. Do what I say I'm going to do
3. Honour each person who interacts with me with respect
4. Give admiration freely if its felt by me
5. Give thanks and gratitude if its felt by me or when I recognise I've been given the chance to earn trust
6. Retain that striving to keep the gained trust until I stop breathing.

Am I on the right track?

 

[Lynx nkaf]

A few standards I hold myself to in order to gain trust.(pick any situation, place or scenario in life)

1. Honesty and accountability without attitude.
2. Do what I say I'm going to do
3. Honour each person who interacts with me with respect
4. Give admiration freely if its felt by me
5. Give thanks and gratitude if its felt by me or when I recognise I've been given the chance to earn trust
6. Retain that striving to keep the gained trust until I stop breathing.

Am I on the right track?

I keep trying to follow these.

 

[HyenaPrince]

A few standards I hold myself to in order to gain trust.(pick any situation, place or scenario in life)

1. Honesty and accountability without attitude.
2. Do what I say I'm going to do
3. Honour each person who interacts with me with respect
4. Give admiration freely if its felt by me
5. Give thanks and gratitude if its felt by me or when I recognise I've been given the chance to earn trust
6. Retain that striving to keep the gained trust until I stop breathing.

Am I on the right track?

Sure, I don't see anything wrong or harmful with that list. As long as you focus on yourself you'll do fine.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Sure, I don't see anything wrong or harmful with that list. As long as you focus on yourself you'll do fine.

ok, that was important for you to write because I struggle with codependency.
Like, not selfdiagnosed, a doctor 20 years ago told me, lol

 

[HyenaPrince]

ok, that was important for you to write because I struggle with codependency.
Like, not selfdiagnosed, a doctor 20 years ago told me, lol

Do you think that is still the case? I would imagine that conditions like that exist in more of a fluent state.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Do you think that is still the case? I would imagine that conditions like that exist in more of a fluent state.

oh!

I hope so.

I try very hard to 'detach' 'keep the focus on myself' repeat 'how important is it?' ask over and over 'do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?'
'acceptance is the answer' 'live and let live' etc, etc.

 

[HyenaPrince]

oh!

I hope so.

I try very hard to 'detach' 'keep the focus on myself' repeat 'how important is it?' ask over and over 'do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?'
'acceptance is the answer' 'live and let live' etc, etc.

You have to be extremely selfish in order to shock your system out of being dependent on others.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

You have to be extremely selfish in order to shock your system out of being dependent on others.

I am. You know that's the trick too then.

Hey, I still like helping and serving others. I just measure it out now.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I am. You know that's the trick too then.

Hey, I still like helping and serving others. I just measure it out now.

If you feel that your soul is light and clean at the end of the day, you're good to go.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

If you feel that your soul is light and clean at the end of the day, you're good to go.

I do, most days.
The mistakes I find in my behaviour and interactions I try really hard to change the very next interaction.

I try very hard to own up to being foolish or incongruent.
And I research how to get the missing people skill if I don't know it yet.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

A few standards I hold myself to in order to gain trust.(pick any situation, place or scenario in life)

1. Honesty and accountability without attitude.
2. Do what I say I'm going to do
3. Honour each person who interacts with me with respect
4. Give admiration freely if its felt by me
5. Give thanks and gratitude if its felt by me or when I recognise I've been given the chance to earn trust
6. Retain that striving to keep the gained trust until I stop breathing.

Am I on the right track?

I am very careful to calibrate if I'm being misconstrued.
I never have the intent to make someone uncomfortable or feel harassed.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Ok.
I think I overuse the 'like' button on internet forums too much.
Also,
I apologise for keeping my private messaging turned off on this forum. I like it better that way, personal preference.






When I was on social media, using the like button got me into 'comment conversations' with people around the world.
I actually miss social media.
I miss conversing with people via comments(posts) on the internet.
I found I was able to practice some social skills via writing that way.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

I also have to watch my codependency thing.
I have stayed up several nights in high school for example, when I wanted to demonstrate being available to communicate with a friend getting over a recent illness.

Takes me like a week to get caught back up on the missed sleep and worrying.
Those friends grew apart from me now.
Was it worth it?

Hell ya, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Peace.

 

[zzzabini]

codependency is so tricky, I understand that.

Sometimes I genuinely want to show the person that I would do anything for them, that I would try to do my best.
But in my case, I frequently understand that it'was all in vain when it's too late.

Sometimes I think that people don't appreciate and don't value the feelings and the deeds of others enough. But, I was "on the other side" too. Sometimes you don't want people do something good for you — there is a feeling that you will be in some kinds of a debt. if that makes sence.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

codependency is so tricky, I understand that.

Sometimes I genuinely want to show the person that I would do anything for them, that I would try to do my best.
But in my case, I frequently understand that it'was all in vain when it's too late.

Sometimes I think that people don't appreciate and don't value the feelings and the deeds of others enough. But, I was "on the other side" too. Sometimes you don't want people do something good for you — there is a feeling that you will be in some kinds of a debt. if that makes sence.

Yes!

My childhood friend wrote a play soon after I contacted her.
'The Collectors' (collecting on friendship debt)

No, I couldn't have inspired that? Probably a coincidence.

On the other side, I always like people helping me. Just don't know what to do with the help offer, because I present as a capable selfregulated leader of myself(that dam zodiac sign of Leo...I don't even believe in zodiac but it imprinted when I was younger that that persona was who I was and supposed to be)

and



I'm not often offered help.
I rarely ask for it.

The membership on this forum is the first time in years I've asked for help.

 

[Lookatu]

codependency is so tricky, I understand that.

Sometimes I genuinely want to show the person that I would do anything for them, that I would try to do my best.
But in my case, I frequently understand that it'was all in vain when it's too late.

Sometimes I think that people don't appreciate and don't value the feelings and the deeds of others enough. But, I was "on the other side" too. Sometimes you don't want people do something good for you — there is a feeling that you will be in some kinds of a debt. if that makes sence.

This is an idealistic view but not realistic these days unfortunately.

It's better to meter your codependency to the level of reciprocation you get. This keeps things in check often times and prevents you from over investing yourself on someone or becoming too dependent.

Yes this may seem somewhat transactional but it keeps you safe and sane.