Suburban Dating

[ThisNThat]

I live in the suburbs about an hour outside of a big city. Although this place is slowing growing, (ie - people that work in the big city choose to live outside of it, and prefer to commute, but those are mostly families)

Anyways, I find it a challenge to meet people in the area, organically. I mean, I could hit the grocery store, chat up a lady there. There's also a local bookstore, and talk to a strange lady there.

But...I gave up on that a long time ago (in my 20s) when I was just seeing 20-something women with wedding rings on their fingers, pushing baby strollers with their husbands. Yeah, they start off pretty young.

Sometimes I'd be fooled up to the point, because I wouldn't see a ring on their finger...and boom, her boyfriend, Bubba, shows up from around the corner before I make my way over.

That was then, but now with online dating, I've been mostly doing that...but don't worry I DO get out of the house, but...I don't approach around here much anymore, only because people around here are "townies" and tend to hang with their old high school mates.

Yeah, weird right? They aren't open to meeting NEW people outside of those who graduated in the the 1990s. Still kind of a "fishbowl" community as it were.

I tend to go to the neighboring big city, an hour away, but when I mingle...and the find out where I live...they are like "Oh he's geographically undesirable" I knew a woman that told me a similar experience she had with a guy she met in a night club....when HE found out where she lives (she also lived in the burbs, made the commute that night with friends to the club an hour away) he said, "Oh, you're G.U.!"

So I don't know if any of you live on the outskirts of a major city, but has it been a hinderance in your dating situation? Has it limited opportunties to meet available women?

I already tapped out of the women I emailed that live locally to me...they aren't responsive and still exist as spinsters on the sites till this day (no one's ever good enough, even if the dating options are limited, but that's another story)

But if it's not a issue with you, do you know someone with this issue?

 

[AlphaNate]

Make the hour trip, talk to as many women as possible, get 10 numbers, get 5 responses, end up spinning 3 of them.

Repeat as necessary.

 

[FwoGiZ]

Make the hour trip, talk to as many women as possible, get 10 numbers, get 5 responses, end up spinning 3 of them.

Repeat as necessary.

And drive 1 hr everytime to get laid?

I am in a similar situation... 1h30 from Toronto but there is still about 60k people around where I live, but all very very very low quality people.. the ****tiest in the province! Renown for teen pregnancy rate and high violence rate
I found out the best way for me is to get into a circle of friend and then become the alpha of them. Doesn't last very long obviously but once you get the hang of it, it's the easiest, best supply of sex plus my gf helps a ton ... I gotta admit haha

 

[EyeBRollin]

Easy. NJ is sandwhiched between NYC and Philly, so I live this reality every day.

Your geographic location can make you undesireable in online dating, so either lie on on your profile or give a general city description ("<big city> area").

You must know this doesn't help your case, so keep your mouth shut. Don't ask a woman what town she's from, as that will prompt her to ask your location (which can turn her off).

As far as meeting women your odds will be worse online so focus on meeting them in person. Find events in the city to attend and meet your women there. Try to stack your dates in the city and piggy back off more events you'll atttend anyway, to avoid wasting your time and gas on the hour trip.

If they ask where you live just say I'm in the burbs but work / play in the city every week, then change the subject. It's only a negative if you reveal too much about your location before she's hooked. Once you get her 2-3 dates in with high enough interest level, she'll make the trek out to see you.

 

[El Payaso]

Move.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Move.

Not always feasible. Cost, job or familial commitments, etc.

 

[ThisNThat]

Not always feasible. Cost, job or familial commitments, etc.

Agreed.

 

[AlphaNate]

And drive 1 hr everytime to get laid?

Or don't, I don't care.

Only other good option is @El Payaso's.

 

[El Payaso]

Not always feasible. Cost, job or familial commitments, etc.

Agreed.

Well, you're stuck then. You're just going to have to sort out whatever it is that's holding you from moving. That is if you really want to fix your conundrum.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Well, you're stuck then. You're just going to have to sort out whatever it is that's holding you from moving. That is if you really want to fix your conundrum.

Moving isn't required. A woman will move for you if she likes you enough. An hour sucks but it could be a lot worse.

If you tell her you rob banks, she'll drop you. If you wait until she's gone over you, she'll rob the banks for you.

 

[Trump]

That was then, but now with online dating, I've been mostly doing that...but don't worry I DO get out of the house, but...I don't approach around here much anymore, only because people around here are "townies" and tend to hang with their old high school mates.

We are not worrying bro.

Yeah, weird right? They aren't open to meeting NEW people outside of those who graduated in the the 1990s. Still kind of a "fishbowl" community as it were.

Not really. I wouldn't be open to meeting new people if they offered no value.

I tend to go to the neighboring big city, an hour away, but when I mingle...and the find out where I live...they are like "Oh he's geographically undesirable" I knew a woman that told me a similar experience she had with a guy she met in a night club....when HE found out where she lives (she also lived in the burbs, made the commute that night with friends to the club an hour away) he said, "Oh, you're G.U.!"

So I don't know if any of you live on the outskirts of a major city, but has it been a hinderance in your dating situation? Has it limited opportunties to meet available women?

I already tapped out of the women I emailed that live locally to me...they aren't responsive and still exist as spinsters on the sites till this day (no one's ever good enough, even if the dating options are limited, but that's another story)

But if it's not a issue with you, do you know someone with this issue?

Conflicting post bro. Your ego is pretty high but then you complain you have problems picking up because you live 60 minutes away from good looking girls, and the ones that are close to you aren't 'good enough' for you.

Why do you automatically think you are good enough for the ones that live 60 minutes away? Brutal.

 

[ThisNThat]

We are not worrying bro.



Not really. I wouldn't be open to meeting new people if they offered no value.



Conflicting post bro. Your ego is pretty high but then you complain you have problems picking up because you live 60 minutes away from good looking girls, and the ones that are close to you aren't 'good enough' for you.

Why do you automatically think you are good enough for the ones that live 60 minutes away? Brutal.

Woops, sorry, I didn't clarify. When I said "no one was good enough" I mean' "No one is good enough...for the women" not ME. lol They just continue to sit there online, forever, waiting for their mystery man to wander randomly into suburbia.