1) How do you be firm without being rigid?
Well, that all depends on your intuition. If you haven't developed it, its probably your best weapon with the ladies.
Now what I like to do is be as C+F as possible and then when my INTUITION tells me, I let up a little.
David D said it best.
"Imagine that you are holding one end of a rope, and the woman is holding the other end. Both of you are pulling gently...enough to keep TENSION in the line.
It's a little game.
If she starts pulling, you need to give her a little bit of slack...but not so much that she gets it all. And if she starts letting go, you need to pull a little more to take up the slack and keep the TENSION up."
How do you play without playing games?
I'm going to take a guess and say your asking this because you have been told by women that they don't play games and hate games and bla bla bla.
Rule #356 - Don't pay any attention to her persona!
Talk to that inside part to signal attraction. You have to play this game or you have no chance...It goes back to the rope metaphor - See women are like light switches but not like men, Men can get turned on with the flip of the button.
WOMEN are more like volume knobs - if the situation starts going right after the intial attraction she can get more and more turned on.