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Subcommunication: Girlfriend's guy friends

Nordic_identity

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Dude, just bang the hell out of her while it's still your turn and treat every bang as your last. In the mean while, start looking for other prospects. It's really that simple at this point. No need to hamster it to death like a girl.
I agree. And that's what I plan to do. I don't think she's cheated just yet but I don't think I'd really know. I don't know if there would be signs?

But my objective going forward is to hard **** her as much as possible, get all the kinks I want to have with her out and start cold approaching girls while hitting up some old flings.
 

HyenaPrince

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Everything y'all have said I completely agree with and I was already in acknowledgement of but just needed the validation and affirmation of it.

I feel if I want it to continue I do need to be very careful, show no insecurities, and operate dread with radical independence from her.

However, I do understand she may have already cheated or in the very least got very close to it. Just for curiosity sake, say she did cheat, I regain her desire and attraction and I notice this by her not hanging with these dudes as much or at all. Is it common that women would feel enough guilt to notify me of the the cheating. Like would she let a relationship continue forward with us and never admit to it?
Those types of thoughts shouldn't even flow in the realm of your mind. What?! What did you say?! "Just for curiosity sake, say she did cheat"?! and "I regain her desire and attraction"?! Are you serious?! For the sake of my love for cracking a case and crime stories I chose to crack this (sad) one.

When a woman cheats, she does so because she's not attracted to you anymore, because she doesn't fear/respect you anymore and because she doesn't see you as the man anymore. If we ignore nymphos for now, it is safe to say that women solely cheat for emotional reasons. This means that she might stay with you afterwards for a short period of time, but it won't even be worth the effort because you won't enjoy this sh*tshow of the remains of a relationship.

She might never admit it, so she remains holy in her opinion. Women have a weird way of seeing right and wrong.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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There's some more details I probably need to provide but I actually did put my "foot down" so to speak. However, this resulted in me coming off as insecure and jealous.

Basically, the gist is there's a 10 year age difference in her and I. She's 18 and has some friends left over from high school. I briefly met the group of guys one day as they were visiting her at her coffee shop job. When I walked in they acted as though they couldn't talk much to me and seemed a bit intimidated with me being much older and dating a girl within their peer group.

My girlfriend went over to a get together at one of the guy's parents house while I was at work on a Saturday recently which I had no problem with but when I got off I was heading back home and told her I had just off. She told me she had been drinking and needed to sober up for a bit. I asked if I could swing by and hang out, have a few beers, and chill. She said that the guy whose house they were at didn't like people swinging by. I said "but I'm your boyfriend" and she immediately texted back that I never let her hang out with her friends and that it's only "one Saturday". I knew I had probably shown some jealousy with the boyfriend comment so I just said "oh no, it's no worries, just sober up and be safe". She then said it was really more to do with his parents. I didn't text her for the rest of the time and when she was coming home she gave me a call. This is where I should some insecurity and pressed her on why I couldn't have just come to hang out especially with my girlfriend drunk around a bunch of dudes. She said she wasn't the only girl there and that she doesn't understand why I'd be so worried. She said that the real reason the guy didn't come by was because I was "too old" and would be hard for all the younger friends to relate to. I asked if she vouched for me and she said yes. We continued to argue about it and I finally calmed down and said for her to forget about it, and that I was just a little concerned not because I don't trust her but that I can't trust a bunch of guys I haven't gotten to know to be around my drunk girlfriend.

However, since this event she has been bringing up the guys a lot and specifically the guy whose house they were at. She says nothing but positive things about him.

Yesterday, I was driving home from work and gave her a call. I was telling her I was gonna go for a walk and asked what she was up to. She said she was hanging out and I asked where and she paused and then said the guys house with the other guys. She asked if I wanted her to come walk with me and I said that she'd be welcomed to but that there was no pressure. She said it was too far to drive and that maybe tomorrow she'd walk with me. I said that's fine and hung up.

After that conversation I felt I really might be about to get dumped by her so I felt the only thing I could do was employ some dread game and not text, call, or snap chat her until she does.

I went on my walk. Didn't look at my phone for two hours and saw 3 texts, a snapchat, and a phone call from her. In these messages initially she said that she was just too tired to walk tonight and was just going to go home after she left the guys house. However, since I didn't reply for an hour she called me when she was leaving. When I didn't answer and hadn't opened her snap I think she got nervous I was pissed so she tried calling me. When I didn't answer she sent me a text that she was just trying to call me and see if everything was alright. When I finally called her I said sorry I left my phone in my truck I had just got done with my walk. She proceeded to ask me where I went for my walk and where I was at the moment. She seemed worried and then asked if I'd be willing to meet up for a late dinner. I said sure and she was extremely nice to me the whole time.

Sorry for the ramble but those are the rest of needed details to better understand the premise.

This is good detail. I think some of the people shiitting on you in this thread didn't read it. Your dread game worked to an extent since she was all of a sudden 'worried' about what you did when you were unavailable and where you were at that exact moment. Then wanting to meet up for a late dinner was to check to see if you smelled like a girl or showed any other signs of having been around one.

She's trying to have her cake and eat it too. I think it's a mistake to hit up old flings and cold approach while you're still technically in a relationship. Just foster social circles that allow you to talk to hot women easily. Be friendly but platonic with these new girls. Network, socialize, but only fuuck your girl while you two are together. This will keep the intimacy intact and give you some confidence in putting your foot down even more so with her, since you'll have backup plans pretty much lined up.

Work out, charm her effortlessly, and charm new girls(platonically but flirty to keep them online). Your girl needs to understand that if she doesn't start acting right that you're gone. The best way to say this is with your actions not your words. Get her worried by growing in your personal social life and see how she responds. Does she want to spend more time together or does she push you further away? Polarize her.

Whatever you do focus on making your decisions and actions appear effortless. This gives off a very powerful vibe, like you're untouchable, like nothing bothers you. Appearing effortless and being ruthless at the same time is what makes men appear like gods to women.
 

stringpuller

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Everything y'all have said I completely agree with and I was already in acknowledgement of but just needed the validation and affirmation of it.

I feel if I want it to continue I do need to be very careful, show no insecurities, and operate dread with radical independence from her.

However, I do understand she may have already cheated or in the very least got very close to it. Just for curiosity sake, say she did cheat, I regain her desire and attraction and I notice this by her not hanging with these dudes as much or at all. Is it common that women would feel enough guilt to notify me of the the cheating. Like would she let a relationship continue forward with us and never admit to it?
They will take it the grave bro. You know she is loyal by her behavior(action). Not by her flatteries. Learning this stuff at 28 will be the best thing ever for you.
 

stringpuller

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This is good detail. I think some of the people shiitting on you in this thread didn't read it. Your dread game worked to an extent since she was all of a sudden 'worried' about what you did when you were unavailable and where you were at that exact moment. Then wanting to meet up for a late dinner was to check to see if you smelled like a girl or showed any other signs of having been around one.

She's trying to have her cake and eat it too. I think it's a mistake to hit up old flings and cold approach while you're still technically in a relationship. Just foster social circles that allow you to talk to hot women easily. Be friendly but platonic with these new girls. Network, socialize, but only fuuck your girl while you two are together. This will keep the intimacy intact and give you some confidence in putting your foot down even more so with her, since you'll have backup plans pretty much lined up.

Work out, charm her effortlessly, and charm new girls(platonically but flirty to keep them online). Your girl needs to understand that if she doesn't start acting right that you're gone. The best way to say this is with your actions not your words. Get her worried by growing in your personal social life and see how she responds. Does she want to spend more time together or does she push you further away? Polarize her.

Whatever you do focus on making your decisions and actions appear effortless. This gives off a very powerful vibe, like you're untouchable, like nothing bothers you. Appearing effortless and being ruthless at the same time is what makes men appear like gods to women.
Op a second poster to crank up the dread if its working idea. I said break up with her to reset the frame. Maybe its not needed but sometimes it does a hard shake up thats needed but few will catch this point. Don't ride this into oblivion but then again if you flip the script make her a plate if you can handle it.
 

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EyeOnThePrize

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@Nordic_identity
When she instantly gets really nice don't bring it up or point it out. That's her resetting to your frame, it should be expected, lean into it. Make a plan for a date when she's like that and go have fun with her. Be willing to walk if she acts up and show that with your actions. If she disrespects call her out effortlessly. Charm, fuuck, check, effortlessly, and watch her submit and treat you like a god.

And obviously if the dates not fun drop her.

It'll be tricky to switch your mindset if you've been cucking it, god speed.
 
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2Rocky

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At the end of the day OP is 28 and she is 18. Did he really think this was going to last a long time? Im surprised it lasted 10 months.

Pvssy is only rented, never owned. Especially in a case like this. Of course this chick is ready to pounce on this guy that is her own age. I would just bounce her @ss.
There is not so much age difference limits, but instead "Borders" Legal drinking age is one of them. When you are on the other side from your LTR you really limit your options.

A girl that young is FB material. you can be meeting women old enough to buy you a drink who can rent a car for the weekend if you want to spend time outside of the bedroom with them.
 

Black Widow Void

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could anyone reference ways in which I can reignite the spark between us despite the complacency and monotony that comes eventually in a LTR?
Welcome aboard.
I've read through your responses and you really got quite a 'welcome.' Actually, my initial response was not much better and so I'll take a second crack at your question.

Do you two still go out and do things? It's important to keep things lively to some extent.

Have you two spent too much time together too soon? There's an old saying that "familiarity breeds contempt."

Have you been too accommodating? Being flexible isn't always bad, but if it turns into a pattern of self-comprise, the relationship will be the next compromise.

Sometimes after we feel 'settled' or very 'comfortable' in a relationship, we can forget how we got there in the first place (I've made this particular mistake).

Most relationships have a shelf life. Sometimes it ends as a legitimate result of our own behavior and sometimes it's theirs. Sometimes it's both.
 

Clamslammer

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Simple...she either respects you or doesn't. This one does not respect you so you turn her into a fwb without mentioning it and then you go find another quality* girl you want to date. If she ever catches you tell her you thought we were just fwb since there was no respect in our relationship, do you want to maintain the fwb or part ways. Either way you don't carw because you got another girl you have been working on.
 

metalwater

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Ten months is a short time. Imagine if you can that you are married to her with kids and 10 years from now she does this same thing. think about that a lot.

you are NOT insecure and being jealous is a natural honest emotion. It is caused when someone we like and want attention from gives attention to someone else instead and lets us know about it. They are bad or being bad by doing that. you are only feeling what you can not help but feel. It is normal and healthy. If she tells you that you are insecure and jealous and therefore defective and should instead man up and let her fck around on you or give attention that should be yours to another guy then she is dirt.

you can not read her mind.. I guarantee that if she was liking you and committed to you that you would have NO questions. and you would not feel jealous even if some other guy was to approach her in front of you and ask her to fck. because she would tell him no, clearly, and in front of you. it would and should make you jealous if she tells the same guy that she will come to visit and drink with him privately at his place and also tell you to stay away. think about that... why would she do that...

what you say she did was get drunk with another guy and then tell you to stay away. think about that... there is no confusion and yes you have the right to feel jealous about that, it is normal. you have to move on.

I am so sorry.. this **** happens all the time to good men.
 

thinker

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@Nordic_identity yeah I bet she was too tired to walk. Ask yourself this question if the rolls were reversed how would she take it and you have your answer. Every women that has wanted me didn't pick time with other people over time with me, if they were hanging out with their friends I needed no invitation I could just show up whenever I wanted to show up. Plate her and move on.
 

HyenaPrince

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Ten months is a short time. Imagine if you can that you are married to her with kids and 10 years from now she does this same thing. think about that a lot.

you are NOT insecure and being jealous is a natural honest emotion. It is caused when someone we like and want attention from gives attention to someone else instead and lets us know about it. They are bad or being bad by doing that. you are only feeling what you can not help but feel. It is normal and healthy. If she tells you that you are insecure and jealous and therefore defective and should instead man up and let her fck around on you or give attention that should be yours to another guy then she is dirt.

you can not read her mind.. I guarantee that if she was liking you and committed to you that you would have NO questions. and you would not feel jealous even if some other guy was to approach her in front of you and ask her to fck. because she would tell him no, clearly, and in front of you. it would and should make you jealous if she tells the same guy that she will come to visit and drink with him privately at his place and also tell you to stay away. think about that... why would she do that...

what you say she did was get drunk with another guy and then tell you to stay away. think about that... there is no confusion and yes you have the right to feel jealous about that, it is normal. you have to move on.

I am so sorry.. this **** happens all the time to good men.
This guy gets it!
 

Desdinova

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My gf has always had various guy friends
She's a piece of trash wh0re. Dump her.

I have no reason to believe she's cheating or doing sketchy things with these friends
If you truly believed that this wasn't a problem, you wouldn't have posted about it.

could anyone reference ways in which I can reignite the spark between us
She has no spark when it comes to you because she keeps other guys orbiting around her.

So let me break this down...

Men are going to get offended when other men start sniffing around the woman they're dating. It's in our nature to protect the woman we've decided to keep as our own. You have every right to feel the way you do about these other guys hanging around your GF.

Women are naturally designed to be committed to only one man in their lifetime. Once they've used up that one time, they aren't able to be faithful to another man. They are damaged goods after they've spent their one chance to be faithful to one man. This bytch you call your GF is never going to settle down. She's going to surround herself with men until she's old and ugly. At that point, she'll start surrounding herself with cats.

While she's entertaining other men, she's going to make all kinds of excuses that those are her friends, and no man is going to tell her who she's allowed to keep as friends. She will always choose her plethora of orbiters over you. You cannot turn a wh0re into a housewife. If you want to be in a committed relationship, you need to find a woman who's never gone through heartbreak. If this bytch had never experienced heartbreak, she'd be eliminating all her male friends to avoid the risk of pissing you off.

To summarize.... Dump her and quit wasting your energy on trying to get a wh0re to commit.
 

LARaiders85

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Age gap was not going to work regardless. She wants to date within her friends group to show status in the group. Huge bias towards that for all but the most introverted women until 23+(and even then it's a factor). I would guess she is monkey branching now yes.
 
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stringpuller

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I think the age gap in this case is a downside because of were the age gap sits in the life cycle. OP if you were older and had your shyt together etc etc. (Not saying you dont)
A 10 year gab is no issue for a man but in this case 18 is in plate age
 

mrgoodstuff

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I think the age gap in this case is a downside because of were the age gap sits in the life cycle. OP if you were older and had your shyt together etc etc. (Not saying you dont)
A 10 year gab is no issue for a man but in this case 18 is in plate age
They will still prioritize social view point of their age group. 28-38, 38-48, 48-58 same difference.
 

Nordic_identity

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So update:

Since the other night when I applied dread game and ghosted her for a few hours she's been extremely affectionate, horny, and her mood has shifted to a bit more positive than she has acted for the last month similar to the way it was when we first started dating.

I haven't mentioned anything about her guy friends or the circumstances from last Saturday night when she was at the get together. Last week she said there was a possibility that they were all going to hang this weekend while I was at work but since the dread game, focusing on myself and prioritizing what I want to do in my day to day ,ie going to the gym, running, or working on hobbies projects, she hasn't mentioned the guys or hanging with them. She's actually been more focused on our plans for the weekend and what we're gonna do together.

Some of you gave very good advice. Others might be clouded out from the limited details I was able to give of the full scope of the situation and that's why the advice might have been a bit misleading or misguided.

However, some of you must be absolutely black pilled and act as though there's no way of saving a possible sinking ship. Why would I next a girl so immediately when the sex is phenomenal and I am enjoying the young woman in the mean time? Why not improve myself, create indignation by expanding my social group, and retaining a worthwhile relationship?

I am not gonna give up good ***** just because I haven't been doing so swell the last month with retaining attraction and then falling into a bluepilled frame when she tests me on this falling of attraction. Instead I'd rather improve myself, reestablish attraction, milk this for what it's worth and then if I grow bored I'll next her.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Age gap was not going to work regardless. She wants to date within her friends group to show status in the group. Huge bias towards that for all but the most introverted women until 23+(and even then it's a factor). I would guess she is monkey branching now yes.
Best age gap is within 5 years for duration. And in my life women at least 1 yrs older have been better, they treat you better. Just make sure she is fit and attractive enough to generate lust. Some babes take care of themselves.
 
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