Style is EVERYTHING

[Atom Smasher]

Ok, them's fightin' words, right?

Let me tell you guys something... For most of my life I have known that I was repulsive to girls, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

I would get interested looks from literally close to zero girls. I knew that there had to be some kind of cosmic law at work here. I just had no other explanation.

Four weeks ago, I got new glasses, and the difference now is like night and day. Every time I go to the store, women look at me with interest, smile (this NEVER happend before), and look for excuses to chat with me. This has been litereally unheard of in my life until the new glasses.

Guess how old I am? 52, that's how old! Yes, for all these years I was repulsive to women, and now I am physically attracting them. LOTS of them. I think I have figured out the reason for the change.

First of all, I have always had dark circles under my eyes, and that gave me a bit of sickly, washed-out look. I suffer from Chrohn's disease, so the sickly look is real.

I have blondish-brown hair and brown eyes, and I always wore brownish glasses, with very light frames, or even the kind of frames that use nylon fishing line to hold them in place (no visible frame along sides & bottom).

The result was that all you could see was my slightly sickly look and the dark circles. My glasses had no style at all.

I decided to change that by getting bold, black frames that sort of fade to greenish from front to back. Not the stems, but the frames around the lenses. There is a nice, masculine design on the stems near where they meet the frames.

The boldness of the frames takes away from my dark circles, and also add a sense of style to my look.

As if by magic, this former complete reject is now turning female heads right & left. I just got back from the grocery store and two very pretty young women attempted to chat me up, and these were women who would have turned their backs on me instantly before the change.

Oh, BTW, I'm not one of those old-looking 52 year olds. People routinely guess me to be about 33 to 35, hence I get interest from all age groups.

What are we to learn from this? That actual looks, per se, do not matter, but a sense of style is everything.

I tell you guys, it doesn't matter how naturally ugly you are. If you just demonstrate a sense of style with clothing and glasses, that is ALL YOU NEED to physically attract women.

I wanted to take this subject out of the realm of the theoretical and relate my actual recent experience.

If a woman sees that you have a sense of style she will immediately overlook physical shortcomings. Bank this, boys, it's true.

Atom Smasher

 

[thebestthing]

I'm only 16 and I can tell you that you're right.
I used to be a loser kid back in middle school, I dressed in sweat pants and blank, oversized t-shirt every day. My shoes were $5 from walmart.
Girls were repulsed, didn't even want to talk to me. I blamed it on them.
Finally one of my friends was nice enough to confront me and tell me I'm a ****ing dumbass. then he took me shopping, and I learned a bit. I still have some issues but I'm better now, BUT there's still definite room to improve.
I went to a friends house last night, and he's a beastly DJ. We're the same size, but he's slightly more muscular and has great style. He always pulls the girls, even away from me, and I've wondered why.
One night before going out with him, he told me he was going to dress me up a bit. Gave me his shoes, which were these white slip on things, threw some dark jeans on me with a white belt, black shirt with a white logo.
girls that night were talking to me like crazy, I'd never received that much attention before.
It wasn't only that, but when in the mirror I actually thought, "Man, I look good." And that in itself gave me a lot of confidence in myself. I felt like I could do no wrong.

Anyway, yeah, style's important. Woo.

 

[PSYCHO]

Yeah man, Hos like those baggy old man pants that are always falling down - the only drawback is when you have to get your wallet from your back pocket you have to lay on the floor to get it out - keep pimpin! yo baby yo!

 

[LittleRiverBand]

Style matters, but women will always notice the better looking guy first. My brother and I were in a restaurant today. I was wearing a dress shirt and vintage washed jeans and dress shoes. He was wearing work out shorts and a tank top and his hair uncombed and he doesn't have big muscles at all either. Both of us with good but not great body language. This HB waitress with huge boobs almost dropped her plates staring at him.

By myself and not with him, I've pulled women. If anything it's probably that they notice that you're confident and walking around with a swagger and they're responding to that. I've never been complimented on my style, but when I'm not with a really good looking guy and I talk to a woman they seem to respond to me probably because I look comfortable in what I'm wearing.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I'm only 16 and I can tell you that you're right.

One night before going out with him, he told me he was going to dress me up a bit. Gave me his shoes, which were these white slip on things, threw some dark jeans on me with a white belt, black shirt with a white logo.
girls that night were talking to me like crazy, I'd never received that much attention before.
It wasn't only that, but when in the mirror I actually thought, "Man, I look good." And that in itself gave me a lot of confidence in myself. I felt like I could do no wrong.

Anyway, yeah, style's important. Woo.

There you go. Notice that what you were wearing was high in contrast and therefore BOLD in their eyes. Girls love bold.

 

[WhtRbt]

I hate to break it to you, but it's not the glasses, or the style. Not that there's anything wrong with having style, but that's not why you're getting the looks.

Have you ever went out and bought a new shirt, and the first time you wear it you really notice that girls are starting to check you out. Or maybe after you get a new haircut you're walking through the mall and you just feel great because your haircut is really attracting attention from the ladies. You feel like such a stud. You feel AWESOME, and you think to yourself "Damn!, this shirt is really working! It's my new favorite shirt!"

So you wear the shirt out the next night and you have a great night. The shirt just kicks ass and now that you finally have style the ladies are responding well.

But what starts happening a few weeks later? The shirt isn't so new anymore. It seems to be losing it's edge. You don't feel nearly as good wearing it as you did when you first got it. The girls are just not really reacting to it like they used to. You're not getting those great results anymore. So what do you do? You go buy a NEW shirt that's more stylish.

BAM! Ah yes this one works much better! As you're rockin you're new shirt through the mall, hotties heads are turning! You never got these looks even with the last shirt! You feel AWESOME again!

But wait. Did it ever occur to you that you should feel this way ALL THE TIME NATURALLY? Was it really the shirts that were getting the attention? What's going on here?

This is how consumerism works. Why do you feel good in that new shirt or new pair of shoes? You feel great because you've just purchased a piece of SELF ESTEEM. You've got your shiny new self esteem and you feel AWESOME. You're walking tall, you feel more confident, like a rockstar. You KNOW you look good. You know you feel good. This is what the girls are sensing.

But what happens after a few weeks? The novelty of the new shirt starts wearing off right after you buy it. That false self-esteem you purchased begins slowly draining from you. After a few weeks it's all but gone. So now you have to get it back. How do you get it back? You buy a new shirt. BAM! Now you feel great again. Girls start to notice you again. But it's not the shirt. Or the glasses. It's the Self-Esteem. Women are very sensitive creatures and they can sense it when a man feels good about himself. They can sense whether or not you are comfortable in your own skin. If you have self-esteem, it is EXTREMELY attractive to women.

So, Atom Smasher, the reactions you're getting have NOTHING to do with your glasses or your sense of style, other than the fact of how they make you FEEL. Work on yourself until you discover how to feel good ALL THE TIME. Then you'll be able to put on your old glasses, and get the same reactions.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

It doesn't have to be new to make you feel like that. When I was really low in confidence, I had one or two shirts that I'd wear out and think "Wow this is great. I feel great" even though they were in my wardrobe for over a year. Or I'd get a short haircut and think "Wow I look good."

So I figured out "Why not feel this way every day of the week?" and I only started purchasing clothes that I loved not just liked and I kept my hair short. I never have an "off" day as a result because I'm maximizing my appearance. On top of that I put on 10 lbs of healthy weight to compliment my style.

The way I see it, I'm an average to "kind of cute" looking guy and in a world where HBs can get any guy they want, I need every edge I can get, and if looking stylish and feeling great as a result of looking stylish makes me feel good (note I would be doing this anyway women or no women) then there's no problem.

 

[WhtRbt]

The way I see it, I'm an average to "kind of cute" looking guy and in a world where HBs can get any guy they want, I need every edge I can get, and if looking stylish and feeling great as a result of looking stylish makes me feel good (note I would be doing this anyway women or no women) then there's no problem.

You only need one edge. SELF-ESTEEM.

LOOKS AND STYLE DO NOT MEAN ****

You are a man. You do not need to coordinate outfits and keep getting your hair done to attract women.

 

[Atom Smasher]

So, Atom Smasher, the reactions you're getting have NOTHING to do with your glasses or your sense of style, other than the fact of how they make you FEEL. Work on yourself until you discover how to feel good ALL THE TIME. Then you'll be able to put on your old glasses, and get the same reactions.

Not to be contentious, but in this case you're absolutely and categorically wrong.

I'm fully aware of the phenomenon of which you speak, and that dynamic does exist in many cases. In fact, I have been acutely aware of this and examining it carefully to see if this is what is in fact happening.

The fact is, though, at first I hated my new glasses and truly regretted getting them. For several days I was angry and embarrased about them. That had no effect on the ladies, however. From the very first day, they were giving me that "come hither" look and trying to chat me up.

For some men at certain levels, what you describe holds true. Not so here. My point is still valid and demonstrable. Women are attracted men with a sense of style. It makes a man stand out big-time, because most men have no sense of style.

You're stuck in the "looks don't matter" rut.

My whole point is that looks absolutely do not matter. A sense of style (Translation: She thinks "Oh, there's a man who takes care of himself") is HUGELY attractive to most women, regardless of looks. Style eclipses looks.

Dude, get over your rigid way of thinking. Don't you realize that this PREQUALIFIES women, that every one of them who responds to me is abundantly showing high IL? And I am not a very good-looking guy. I would rather enjoy the benefits of this initial phase of attraction than to have to overcome her initial impression with my confidence and charisma. I have an automatic "in", because I demonstrate boldness, class and confidence in my look.

This cannot be discounted.

 

[nightcrawler]

style is everything.

 

[Phenomenal One]

You only need one edge. SELF-ESTEEM.

LOOKS AND STYLE DO NOT MEAN ****

You are a man. You do not need to coordinate outfits and keep getting your hair done to attract women.

EXACTLY

it's like sum men are becoming woman,
"omg i have to get this kind of haircut and wear this kind of shirt 2 get with tha ladies".

or the guys getting fashion tips from woman.

Or I'd get a short haircut and think "Wow I look good."
So I figured out "Why not feel this way every day of the week?"

in the past when i got my haircut, you could'nt tell me sh!t.
i thought i was da man, but as soon as my hair started to grow back my confidence dropped like a rock thrown off a roof.

so i got a haircut again and notice while lookin in the mirrior that i was more confident when i got the haircut then before.

i realized that i should be confident all the time, and not just when i got a haircut.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Some of you guys are missing the point completely.

It's not about "wearing the right shirt"" and such.

It's what you project about yourself and whether or not you demonstrate that you take care of yourself. It's also about showing that you have balls and character. And class, for that matter.

Sure, your haircut gave you more confidence, but you can't possibly discount the fact that you looked well-groomed to the ladies.

It is a simple and obvious psychological fact that how we present ourselves to the world determines how people respond to us.

 

[WhtRbt]

Yes it's nice to have style, and women will notice. However, I could go two weeks without a shower and wear the dorkiest clothes ever and pull the same ladies. That's the point.

If you are secure with yourself, your style has ABSOLUTELY 0 RELEVANCE. If you are comfortable with yourself, even if you wear something that is the opposite of having style, you will make it cool. Because you are wearing it.

Style is NOTHING

 

[WhtRbt]

It is a simple and obvious psychological fact that how we present ourselves to the world determines how people respond to us.

This is 100% true and has nothing to do with your style or what type of glasses you are wearing.

 

[Phenomenal One]

Yes it's nice to have style, and women will notice. However, I could go two weeks without a shower and wear the dorkiest clothes ever and pull the same ladies. That's the point.

i have cousins who are known for having bad hygiene,
if the clothes they wear are'nt dirty they're warn & wrinkled.

these guys have no problems pullin chicks

If you are secure with yourself, your style has ABSOLUTELY 0 RELEVANCE. If you are comfortable with yourself, even if you wear something that is the opposite of having style, you will make it cool. Because you are wearing it.

Style is NOTHING

as many times as i've raged on them (in private), they still are secure in what they wear.

it's not the clothes that are cool, it's the person that wears them that's cool.

 

[ketostix]

I always say that appearance is everything. Women are visual creatures that are attracted to men visually. It's very similar to how men are except women are looking and focusing on different visual cues than men are. Men focus primarily on physicality while women are focusing on visual cues to your mental makeup.

 

[WhtRbt]

I always say that appearance is everything. Women are visual creatures that are attracted to men visually. It's very similar to how men are except women are looking and focusing on different visual cues than men are. Men focus primarily on physicality while women are focusing on visual cues to your mental makeup.

That's too bad.

 

[ketostix]

That's too bad.

What's too bad? Weren't you saying it was all about self-esteem not that I agree totally with that? And how do you think women sense a guy's self-esteem? She not smelling it or hearing it when she comes up to you all attracted while you're picking out bananas off the produce shelf. It's visual cues of your appearance.

 

[LittleRiverBand]

I wear the clothes I do and have the haircut I do because I like it regardless. Like a couple other people said, I take pride in my appearance. You were born with your looks but you can do something with your looks and I like people, male or female to see that I value myself.

Like someone also said, women are visual creatures. If they're noticing a guy that's scrubbed out, it's probably because they think he's great looking. Most guys can't rely on that.

The idea is to just maximize your value and appearance for YOUR sake, then other people noticing and women noticing is a bonus.

And it's a combination of both, how you look and how you feel and appear to feel to her about how you look. It's the look and the confidence, otherwise 300lb guys could walk around and pull 10s just by having a smile on their face.

 

[WhtRbt]

I was thinking you meant appearance by clothing/style/etc. Surface level bull****. It's not about the surface level stuff. She can sense it based on his behaviors. How he holds himself. Even if his dress is sloppy. It's the micro-behaviors that she picks up on without even realizing it.