"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Stumped with a party girl on facebook

adamw5963

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I have been messaging an HB on facebook. I opened with the "wig or real hair opener" I managed to transition it into an opinion with her but I'm stuck. Shes seems to be a partier from her profile and her answers. I don't know what to say next. Here is the convo:

Me: Haha hope you can take a joke. I just thought you were too adorable so I had to say hi!

HB:haha heyy

Me: Haha happy Easter! Oh by the way, I need a female prespective on something......Say, this guy is dating this girl, and she goes out with her friends, has a few drinks and ends of making out with a random girl at the bar.....Would you consider this cheating?

HB: if she kisses a girl, i wouldn't be worried about it

Me: Ahh well I was out at the bar with my buddy Michael this weekend and he's been dating a girl for about 6 months. He told me that she had told him that a lot of times when she gets a little drunk that she likes to makeout with girls. He's really not sure how to feel about it bc in one way he likes it haha but in the other he worries that he can't satisfy her or like he can't trust her. but she was open about it so that's good.

HB: yeah i see where he's coming from lol tell him to step up his game lol


Do you guys think this is even working or what should I say next?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Upside

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I'm still looking
You: 160 words

Her: 29 words

Talk less or don't talk at all. You clearly aren't winning her over.
 

Iceberg

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So you used a canned "Is that a wig" opener. Then you followed it up by the canned "I need a female perspective" question.

See, here's the problem - do you have a personality, or do you expect to get by with nothing but PUA tricks? You don't sound like you're having a natural conversation. It just seems like you're asking questions that you read in a book somewhere. And trust me...people can tell.

Actually, the fact that you're asking us what to say next tells me that you're not having a natural conversation.
 

adamw5963

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I have a personality but my online game sucks!! I've been trying my own stuff and it just hasn't worked so I figured I would just try some canned **** to see if it would work. I can use my own stuff which is pretty terrible. but I'm also wondering if I should go ahead for a number close.
 

dutchmaster

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Meeting chicks over FB is usually pretty lame, you're better off going out and meeting them in person. Especially since your online game sucks according to you.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Demonpenz

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You are trying, but you gotta sing your own song man, plus you can attract this lady until you meet up. Get a date with her or move on.
 

bigneil

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I had a first date tonight and I told her "Let's NOT be Facebook friends!".

This works two ways in your favor:

1) Facebook is lame and she won't be impressed by your page or photos anyway.

2) You keep some mystery so she'll imagine you have a great page and photos, and maybe other women.
 

adamw5963

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*Update*
Well I just went for the number close next in a ****y kind of way and it worked.
 

Iceberg

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adamw5963 said:
*Update*
Well I just went for the number close next in a ****y kind of way and it worked.

Great.

Now, are you going to text her all day for the next month, or set up a date?

Making moves works. It separates the interested girls from the time-wasters.
 

adamw5963

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Oh I'm gonna set up the date. Not gonna waste my time, I've done that way too many times in the past.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Le killeur

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Ask if she wants to hang. If she says no then stop messaging her and forget her. Your only opportunity with this girl is if you see her at a party again. NEXT!
 

ilikecharlene

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When I use facebook game, I start with an opener based on her profile, chat for about 5/6 messages, build a rapport, and ask for a number.

Your opener sounds too canned/cliche. If she, for example, has a photo of her at a party I'd say "hey, saw you on xyz group, did you have a good time at xyz event?" I'd follow up by asking her how she liked the party, and about her in general.
 

gspshields2

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Whenever u setup the date right away without building some sort of rapport though constant texting or phoning, you will end of losing her interest because you are too desperate for the date. just keep texting and dont ask for a date. make her ask.
 

adamw5963

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So you guys think I should text her for about a week or so bc I've built no rapport or anything as you can see that was my whole convo with her? Or should I try to set up a date right away? The thing is this on facebook so its not like a dating website where she is looking for a date or anything.
 

Le killeur

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Gsp i agree with you but that only works in certain situations. The vibe i get from her responses is that she is totally uninterested in you and is only replying to you to be nice (shown through minimal responses). She views you as a pest. Seriously drop this before you make a fool out of yourself and regret it. Spend the time you would messaging this girl by going to the gym or studying!
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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adamw5963

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Trust me i spend a lot time working out and studying. Honestly I don't want to be serious with her bc she seems to be a big partier. So really I'm just looking for a lay. I know it sounds bad.
 

dutchmaster

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adamw5963 said:
Trust me i spend a lot time working out and studying. Honestly I don't want to be serious with her bc she seems to be a big partier. So really I'm just looking for a lay. I know it sounds bad.
Why are you so set on her then?
 

adamw5963

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Actually I'm not so set on her. It's just I've never really picked up a hot stranger on fb. So I was just asking questions while I'm on here.
 

Le killeur

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Adam understand your only chance of getting a lay out of this girl is if you ever bump into her again at a party. Facebook just isnt the place unless you look like Brad Pitt and have the body to match, not the mention the social status. Forget about this girl completly and if you see her at a party again have another pop
 

Packers2010

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i have never done any facebook game... i have hit on my friends. but then never goes well because they know me.

the best thing i could say it don't do it. right not i am thinking of just keep my relatives on there and a few really close friends and then that's it you know.

well you got the number so i guess it worked. good job!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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