Stuffing up the talk

[LeChanteur]

Ok so we all know its not good to go telling a girl u like her.

Is saying I like spending time with you, the same or is it okay?

I had a minor brain spasm the otha night and wasn't thinkin (the drink helped) when I was talking. Don't think it's that bad but I was just wonderin what the popular opinion was.

 

[carbani]

There are no rules!

It all depends on the context, your body language, voice tone, background, timing and so on.

Stay cool about it, one phrase won't kill IL.

 

[dig it]

No, never tell a girl you like her. Never

Its true.

its pshycology.

u say "i like you." or you imply that.

what it means is in essence "i like you. the fact that i like you says that i will now require something from you in return, whether you like me as much or not, so i will continue to talk to you or know you."

and if she doesn't like you, then you have messed up.

same with a marriage proposal right? you say marry me, and she's like, "no i dont want to get married - i am not ready/i am not in love with you/i dont want to marry you yet.

what would you think? am i wasting my time, is she worth it, why is she saying that....must be something wrong.

it can all go down hill. now, fortunately for a couple in tha situation they usually have some background and history for which to continue to see each other....they have credit....and they can keep the relationship going without feeling bad about it....they basically understand each other..

alternitively one will call it quits and move on.

see the pattern man.

same thing here. the psychology behind it is i like you = we need to start something so i hope you are ready and can return the lot for me.


what if she's not ready. you have effectively brought the situation to a head....from here there needs to be a resolution.

she may choose to ignore it and let it pass and continue on, or she may tackle it. why not, you've tackled it.

she may feel pressured or any number of emotions.

so never tell her you like her. better just let her tell you - cos she is weaker about those things.

also, u dont even need to say that at all.....you can still hang out and make out, and what not before you both know that each other likes the other.

best to get credit built up first.

alternitively, if you KNOW for SURE she likes you can be a bit more relaxed about it.

thing is, a lot of dj-ing is done by cold approaches, so if you dont know the person well enough, its best not to let out the "you better return this feeling" situation.

dont put the pressure on until much later. much much much later. i wouldn't say i love you until well past 1 year.

i wouldnt say i like you at all until i knew for certain she really really liked me.

your "i like spending time with you"

- thats pretty much saying "i like you"


i much prefer to say " i love such and such about....or i love the way you do such and such or i really like it when you say/do."

dont create a situation out of i like you for it to explode, unless you know the blast is gunna fall in your favour

its ok to say you like/love things about her, but dont get to close to her person about it until you guys have a real connection to base it on.

 

[dig it]

Yeh, i left out...

the difference between saying "I like you"

and saying " i like 'something about you"

is that it all comes back to the case of "since i feel this about you, i will be expecting more of it" you subliminaly say that.

now, if you say "i like something about you" it can only be taken in a good way basically...in that you think its fun/good and its good that there will be more of it ( because she knows you like it and will more than likely purposely do more of it around you to please you). just as you would do...this brings you closer together.

the other one is the opposite, it says i am needy = bad, dont do it, therfore dont do me.