student council speech

[bay]

I have my posters figured out, but the speech is still looming. I know that the actual shaking of hands is the most important part, but the speech can kill you. I will be speaking in front of the student body, which #s about 800. They are a tough crowd. I obviously know to not be serious or to lay down any half-way intelligent reasoning, but I don’t know how to find the best humor. A while back someone posted a speech laced throughout with drug references. I’m not sure that I want to be expelled, but something along those lines is appealing to me. Any tips?

 

[Vincent]

Inuendo's are the key, if you can throw some "clean" yet sugestive things in there you'll get a lot better response

 

[bay]

Thanks, Innuendos seem like they would give a good response. Any other tips/sample speeches? Thnx.

 

[bay]

This is what I have so far. There is an infamous police officer who drives a camaro police car, and always camps by the school. We call her the camaro *****. Here is my speech.

This morning, I was driving to school talking on the cell phone and eating donuts, when out of nowhere, a small Dodge Neon whizzed past. It was headed on Garriot towards the school, obviously in distress. Well just in the nick of time, one of those Camaro cop cars came out from behind a tree and chased the girl down. The lights were going and the siren was loud, and all I could think was, … what a NICE thing to do. You know, the girl was having gas pedal problems, and this kind policewoman came and took time out of her busy schedule of catching criminal, to help this nice young girl by giving her a $144 speeding ticket.

Some of you after seeing my posters may think that I am anti police or something. NO. No. No. I just don’t like it when their only goal is to catch speeders, and when they camp all day in hard to see spots, and when they would rather pull over old ladies for rolling stop signs than catch murderers and criminals. See? I’m obviously not talking about OUR beloved Camaro cops. So the next time you see a sleek white police car trying to help another distressed motorist, go offer em a donut. [holds up donut] They deserve it.

Vote ******* for Historian.

 

[liberal]

Well...there's always next year....

 

[wavejams007]

One thing. While it is good to be active about something in your community, the people who elect you are most likely going to be more interested in what you can offer them, not about what changes need to be made for public services. Really selfish, but that is a big way of how you will get yourself elected.

 

[McKindley]

When I tried to run for office my speech was so laced with the type of stuff you're talking about they decided to not let me run.

By the way, what is historian? And why would someone want to be one? What does that speech have to do with being the historian? Does the historian control the police officers in town? If not that speech has nothing to do with nothing. And is a big waste of everyone's time.

 

[October]

I don't know about the schools you guys go to, but no one takes the speeches at my school seriously. When I ran last year, I got up there, told a good joke. They laughed, and I got off. If you wanna know the joke, I can give it to you, but it's too long to write here. It wasn't creative, and it didn't have anything to do with student council, but I got elected anyway. I dunno, I think the important thing about getting elected is telling everyone you know to vote for you.