I have found myself in quite a predicament. Not sure how to proceed.
Background:
Met this girl at work close to 10 years ago. We were friends but there was always an underlying sexual vibe. Fast forward to about 2 years ago, we start hanging out a lot more. (no longer work at the same place)
I have a gf, but she is a LDR (long distance relationship) plus things had been rocky between us. Not to excuse what happened next, just telling it like it was.
So we do the deed. I feel guilt and shame (the next day) and she comes back for more, but I send her away. Then a couple of weeks later I visit her and we spend the entire weekend banging. I then go away to work (I work in a different place than I live) and the GF comes to visit and I carry on as though nothing had happened with the friend at home.
This makes me a douchebag, I know.
Soon after, the LDR relationship ends, and I start banging the friend at home regularly. We have some issues. She wants more, I don't. We cool off for a while, then start up again. This time I want more, she doesn't. We get into a gigantic fight, and don't speak for 6 months.
I contact her, we meet and talk. She tells me she wants to be friends, then we have sex twice. After that, I am confused. Next she invites me to her place for a long weekend, we bang bang bang, and do family stuff with her family. Then the day I leave I get the cold shoulder, some indifference. Generally just treated bad, and I didn't like it. So I go away to work again, and ex GF is there. We start up again and I cut off contact with the friend at home.
She drunk dials me a few months later. We text back and forth, I agree to meet her, she cancels with a lame excuse. So I cut her off again. I go to visit the LDR gf.
LDR breaks up with me. Stupidly, I email the friend from home, she blows me off. I send her an email thanking her, and this is what happens next.
I get an all caps message saying I'm toxic and to please stop contacting her.
4 minutes later, she friend requests me on facebook (I think accidentally) and soon after blocks me. Blocking someone that isn't on your friends list.
I know this chick better than anyone. She would not bother replying to my messages if she really wanted me to stop contacting her. The facebook thing is just weird. Not sure what to make of that.
Is her hamster sprinting? Running itself to death?
I don't know what to do. What I want to happen is to get back with her. It's what I always wanted to happen, but she had me pretty convinced that she didn't care about anything I did. I see now that I read that wrong.
Thoughts?
Background:
Met this girl at work close to 10 years ago. We were friends but there was always an underlying sexual vibe. Fast forward to about 2 years ago, we start hanging out a lot more. (no longer work at the same place)
I have a gf, but she is a LDR (long distance relationship) plus things had been rocky between us. Not to excuse what happened next, just telling it like it was.
So we do the deed. I feel guilt and shame (the next day) and she comes back for more, but I send her away. Then a couple of weeks later I visit her and we spend the entire weekend banging. I then go away to work (I work in a different place than I live) and the GF comes to visit and I carry on as though nothing had happened with the friend at home.
This makes me a douchebag, I know.
Soon after, the LDR relationship ends, and I start banging the friend at home regularly. We have some issues. She wants more, I don't. We cool off for a while, then start up again. This time I want more, she doesn't. We get into a gigantic fight, and don't speak for 6 months.
I contact her, we meet and talk. She tells me she wants to be friends, then we have sex twice. After that, I am confused. Next she invites me to her place for a long weekend, we bang bang bang, and do family stuff with her family. Then the day I leave I get the cold shoulder, some indifference. Generally just treated bad, and I didn't like it. So I go away to work again, and ex GF is there. We start up again and I cut off contact with the friend at home.
She drunk dials me a few months later. We text back and forth, I agree to meet her, she cancels with a lame excuse. So I cut her off again. I go to visit the LDR gf.
LDR breaks up with me. Stupidly, I email the friend from home, she blows me off. I send her an email thanking her, and this is what happens next.
I get an all caps message saying I'm toxic and to please stop contacting her.
4 minutes later, she friend requests me on facebook (I think accidentally) and soon after blocks me. Blocking someone that isn't on your friends list.
I know this chick better than anyone. She would not bother replying to my messages if she really wanted me to stop contacting her. The facebook thing is just weird. Not sure what to make of that.
Is her hamster sprinting? Running itself to death?
I don't know what to do. What I want to happen is to get back with her. It's what I always wanted to happen, but she had me pretty convinced that she didn't care about anything I did. I see now that I read that wrong.
Thoughts?
