Stuck

[SSBS]

I have found myself in quite a predicament. Not sure how to proceed.

Background:

Met this girl at work close to 10 years ago. We were friends but there was always an underlying sexual vibe. Fast forward to about 2 years ago, we start hanging out a lot more. (no longer work at the same place)

I have a gf, but she is a LDR (long distance relationship) plus things had been rocky between us. Not to excuse what happened next, just telling it like it was.

So we do the deed. I feel guilt and shame (the next day) and she comes back for more, but I send her away. Then a couple of weeks later I visit her and we spend the entire weekend banging. I then go away to work (I work in a different place than I live) and the GF comes to visit and I carry on as though nothing had happened with the friend at home.

This makes me a douchebag, I know.

Soon after, the LDR relationship ends, and I start banging the friend at home regularly. We have some issues. She wants more, I don't. We cool off for a while, then start up again. This time I want more, she doesn't. We get into a gigantic fight, and don't speak for 6 months.

I contact her, we meet and talk. She tells me she wants to be friends, then we have sex twice. After that, I am confused. Next she invites me to her place for a long weekend, we bang bang bang, and do family stuff with her family. Then the day I leave I get the cold shoulder, some indifference. Generally just treated bad, and I didn't like it. So I go away to work again, and ex GF is there. We start up again and I cut off contact with the friend at home.

She drunk dials me a few months later. We text back and forth, I agree to meet her, she cancels with a lame excuse. So I cut her off again. I go to visit the LDR gf.

LDR breaks up with me. Stupidly, I email the friend from home, she blows me off. I send her an email thanking her, and this is what happens next.

I get an all caps message saying I'm toxic and to please stop contacting her.

4 minutes later, she friend requests me on facebook (I think accidentally) and soon after blocks me. Blocking someone that isn't on your friends list.

I know this chick better than anyone. She would not bother replying to my messages if she really wanted me to stop contacting her. The facebook thing is just weird. Not sure what to make of that.

Is her hamster sprinting? Running itself to death?

I don't know what to do. What I want to happen is to get back with her. It's what I always wanted to happen, but she had me pretty convinced that she didn't care about anything I did. I see now that I read that wrong.

Thoughts?

 

[SSBS]

Just to add, she has been dating other guys the entire time, not sitting around waiting for me. In fact it was the reason for the huge fight and 6 months no contact.

 

[Alvafe]

keep NC and move on, only toxic here is her, well other people will give you better advice anyway , I say ignore, move on and find a girl close, long distance never really work.

 

[The Duke]

You got a bunch of crazy emotional women that have out of round hamster wheels in overdrive......you really need to man up and find somebody else. Don't become a puppet in their silly games.

 

[SoSuave666]

Honestly, if I were a chick and you kept just coming back when it was convenient for you to do so, sleeping with me and then sometimes wanting a relationship and sometimes not, I'd be fed up with you too. But that's the rational side of my brain talking. We all know women are not very rational.

Anyway, if she wants you to leave her alone, then do it. Maybe let her cool off and talk to her after some time has gone by. What do you really want from these two women? Is there one you are interested in more? It just seems like you really aren't into either one of these women because you can't commit to one. Or maybe you just want your cake and to eat it too.

I dunno man. Find someone new.

 

[SSBS]

About the LDR, we lived in different places but worked in the same place, so we'd be together for several months at work, when the contract ended, we'd go to our respective homes. We split up a few times over the years. This one is finally over. Completely finished.

The one at home is the one I actually get the crazy buzz over. I tried to get serious with her, but she always pushes me away, so I had enough and cut her off.

I'm actually surprised at her reaction. This girl is an expert at giving off the "I don't care about you at all" vibe, and nothing I tried ever worked until just now. It's really the only reaction I've ever been able to get out of her.

Now she's unloading on me and saying things that she knows I am going to respond to, but finishes off with "please don't contact me".

So now I'm fighting the urge to respond to her.

 

[Iceberg]

You titled this thread "STUCK". Which is true. You were stuck in some weid love triangle between your LDR and your local f**k buddy.

You had some fun. You had a lot of sex. It was a good time. Now it's time to move on.

At this point you are free. You're the opposite of stuck. Why not just take this as a victory, and walk away, instead of trying to force the issue with some crazy girl. What are you expecting here? A loving, healthy relationship?

 

[SSBS]

True enough. I need to embrace my freedom.

She is pissed off. No hope of salvation.

 

[Three]

I agree with the rest of the guys here. Move on. You really do get stuck in a rut trying to hold on to something that you never really had in the first place. If you're thinking you're going to have this girl all for yourself and she's going to miraculously become your soul mate, you're living in a fantasy world. Trust me, I've been there and done that. Nothing but hardship and pain, not to mention that it's incredibly unhealthy for your mental state.

 

[SSBS]

She absolutely unloaded on me yesterday. I had no idea she cared that much.

I was basically hypnotized by the sex. It was unlike anything I've ever had before. Hard to forget. Want more.

Haven't replied to the latest. Don't know what to say, so that is helping.

 

[Three]

Go ghost on her, man. It's tough as hell, but, really, what more is there to say? Trying to explain stuff over and over again only hurts you and doesn't make her any less crazy or more suitable for you.