Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Stuck in dating purgatory

John9999

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Ho hum. 53 years old. Haven’t had a girlfriend since the breakup with fiancé 3 years ago. Not even sure I want one, too much drama. Now one night stands don’t do it for me. Had 2 last month, it was nice, but not very rewarding, which sucks cause I used to love the smash and dash.

anyone feel this way ?
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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KindredSpiritzz

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I feel ya. I don't mind the one night stands but what im finding is I don't like all the work I have to put into getting these women or at least a steady flow of them. It's time consuming. If I date them for any length of time I inevitably get bored with them and want to move on.
A lot of work finding them and a lot of work juggling them, not sure what I do about that. Wish I could find one that grabs me enough I want to stick with her for awhile.
 

ubercat

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Right and you haven't found the future mother of your children there. I'm shocked.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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DelayedGratification

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Right and you haven't found the future mother of your children there. I'm shocked.
Well, as another dude who occasionally goes to swinger parties, I'll say that nobody is under the delusion that it's a place that for soul mates. Quite the opposite. And if you're fit and sociable you're likely to get laid at least once on the first date, which is waaaay less work than dating.

As @John9999 points out, the women are typically very low on the scale, which is why I might hit one up only every few months at most. Beats not getting laid at all if you're in a dry spell, or in my case, just looking for some low-effort entertainment.
 

Epic Days

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Ask yourself this question. “Is it that I associate the experiences with women now different? Or is it that when I was younger I have more drive for goals and dreams, and women were exciting entertainment and the reason is that I am no longer on fire for life?”
 

ubercat

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I'm just trying to figure out what the problem is. Is it location? Is it smv? Do you have high expectations? Is it age - I woman your own age don't do it for you and you're having trouble attracting the younger ones?
 

Poonani Maker

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Reading a book “Your money or your life” it talks of trading your life energy for money or relationships and on the chart you have about 25 years left of life energy in you
 

mrgoodstuff

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Well, as another dude who occasionally goes to swinger parties, I'll say that nobody is under the delusion that it's a place that for soul mates. Quite the opposite. And if you're fit and sociable you're likely to get laid at least once on the first date, which is waaaay less work than dating.

As @John9999 points out, the women are typically very low on the scale, which is why I might hit one up only every few months at most. Beats not getting laid at all if you're in a dry spell, or in my case, just looking for some low-effort entertainment.
Youll get chose
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Machine10033

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I am 39 and honestly monitor my energy expenditure on any females. If I suddenly dread talking or hanging out with them I instantly drop them... if they ***** or whine... create any drama I drop them. I don’t have the time or patience for any female that is working me for some type of validation or ego boost. If you feel like it’s too much work your probably right and shouldn’t deal with that drama. Do your own thing and throw yourself into your hobbies or passion and if something comes along and your having fun it won’t feel like work and your perspective will change.
 

John9999

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I am 39 and honestly monitor my energy expenditure on any females. If I suddenly dread talking or hanging out with them I instantly drop them... if they ***** or whine... create any drama I drop them. I don’t have the time or patience for any female that is working me for some type of validation or ego boost. If you feel like it’s too much work your probably right and shouldn’t deal with that drama. Do your own thing and throw yourself into your hobbies or passion and if something comes along and your having fun it won’t feel like work and your perspective will change.
When the right one appears, it will be easy.
 

corrector

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Ho hum. 53 years old. Haven’t had a girlfriend since the breakup with fiancé 3 years ago. Not even sure I want one, too much drama. Now one night stands don’t do it for me. Had 2 last month, it was nice, but not very rewarding, which sucks cause I used to love the smash and dash.

anyone feel this way ?
It sounds hard that you didn't get married this late in the day and had a break-up instead. You would think you would have found true love when you get to that age and it's sounds brutal when it doesn't work out.
 
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