Stuck in dating purgatory

[John9999]

Ho hum. 53 years old. Haven’t had a girlfriend since the breakup with fiancé 3 years ago. Not even sure I want one, too much drama. Now one night stands don’t do it for me. Had 2 last month, it was nice, but not very rewarding, which sucks cause I used to love the smash and dash.

anyone feel this way ?

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I feel ya. I don't mind the one night stands but what im finding is I don't like all the work I have to put into getting these women or at least a steady flow of them. It's time consuming. If I date them for any length of time I inevitably get bored with them and want to move on.
A lot of work finding them and a lot of work juggling them, not sure what I do about that. Wish I could find one that grabs me enough I want to stick with her for awhile.

 

[ubercat]

So mate aren't you the guy who goes to all those swingers parties?

 

[John9999]

So mate aren't you the guy who goes to all those swingers parties?

I do, but it ain’t so great. Most of the women are fatties.

 

[ubercat]

Right and you haven't found the future mother of your children there. I'm shocked.

 

[DelayedGratification]

Right and you haven't found the future mother of your children there. I'm shocked.

Well, as another dude who occasionally goes to swinger parties, I'll say that nobody is under the delusion that it's a place that for soul mates. Quite the opposite. And if you're fit and sociable you're likely to get laid at least once on the first date, which is waaaay less work than dating.

As @John9999 points out, the women are typically very low on the scale, which is why I might hit one up only every few months at most. Beats not getting laid at all if you're in a dry spell, or in my case, just looking for some low-effort entertainment.

 

[Epic Days]

Ask yourself this question. “Is it that I associate the experiences with women now different? Or is it that when I was younger I have more drive for goals and dreams, and women were exciting entertainment and the reason is that I am no longer on fire for life?”

 

[ubercat]

I'm just trying to figure out what the problem is. Is it location? Is it smv? Do you have high expectations? Is it age - I woman your own age don't do it for you and you're having trouble attracting the younger ones?

 

[Poonani Maker]

Reading a book “Your money or your life” it talks of trading your life energy for money or relationships and on the chart you have about 25 years left of life energy in you

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Well, as another dude who occasionally goes to swinger parties, I'll say that nobody is under the delusion that it's a place that for soul mates. Quite the opposite. And if you're fit and sociable you're likely to get laid at least once on the first date, which is waaaay less work than dating.

As @John9999 points out, the women are typically very low on the scale, which is why I might hit one up only every few months at most. Beats not getting laid at all if you're in a dry spell, or in my case, just looking for some low-effort entertainment.

Youll get chose

 

[Machine10033]

I am 39 and honestly monitor my energy expenditure on any females. If I suddenly dread talking or hanging out with them I instantly drop them... if they ***** or whine... create any drama I drop them. I don’t have the time or patience for any female that is working me for some type of validation or ego boost. If you feel like it’s too much work your probably right and shouldn’t deal with that drama. Do your own thing and throw yourself into your hobbies or passion and if something comes along and your having fun it won’t feel like work and your perspective will change.

 

[John9999]

I am 39 and honestly monitor my energy expenditure on any females. If I suddenly dread talking or hanging out with them I instantly drop them... if they ***** or whine... create any drama I drop them. I don’t have the time or patience for any female that is working me for some type of validation or ego boost. If you feel like it’s too much work your probably right and shouldn’t deal with that drama. Do your own thing and throw yourself into your hobbies or passion and if something comes along and your having fun it won’t feel like work and your perspective will change.

When the right one appears, it will be easy.

 

[corrector]

Ho hum. 53 years old. Haven’t had a girlfriend since the breakup with fiancé 3 years ago. Not even sure I want one, too much drama. Now one night stands don’t do it for me. Had 2 last month, it was nice, but not very rewarding, which sucks cause I used to love the smash and dash.

anyone feel this way ?

It sounds hard that you didn't get married this late in the day and had a break-up instead. You would think you would have found true love when you get to that age and it's sounds brutal when it doesn't work out.