I have been in love with the same woman for two years. We started out as friends and it escalated into something more than that after she broke up with a guy about a year ago. We started spending more time with each other and eventually started sleeping together. She told me she loved me but was not in love with me. She met someone and they started dating and we did not speak for months and when we finally did I told her I was not comfortable being just a friend to her. She just recently broke up with this guy and wanted me back in her life. For about a week we have been spending all of our free time together and she genuinely wants to be with me. She wanted to book a trip to Mexico and I told her that I would only agree to go if we were both in the right position to go. She promised that she was ready to become more than just friends so I agreed. However, she still says she loves me but is not in love with me. We are not sleeping together and every time I ask if I can stay the night she gets upset and says no. I am so confused about everything and I have no clue what to do in my situation. Any advice will help.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Stuck in between the Friendzone and Dating
- Thread starter pjb272
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Well, she basically has no idea what she wants. What happened here is she used you as a rebound guy. You shouldn't of jumped at that opportunity. So far, she has been in control. She refused you, banged some other dude for months, came back to you, and all the while telling you how she loves you like this, but not like that, yadda, yadda, yadda.
How do you know she is not just using you for a temporary ego fix until she finds another guy?
You don't.
If she does, she'll forget about you just like she did in Round 1.
This chick is a user, and an attention whóre who is only looking for validation to keep herself pumped up from her recently failed relationship.
Let her go, and find someone who is genuinely interested in you. The fact that you are confused is concrete evidence that she has low interest in the relationship.
YOU need to give HER some ṣhit tests. Don't contact her. Will she contact you? Flake on her. Will she be upset? Say you just went out on a date with some other girl (which you should). Will she care? Don't be afraid to cut her loose, she is not making your life any better.
Time for you to take the power back. Her actions, not her words will give you all the answers you need.
Good luck.
How do you know she is not just using you for a temporary ego fix until she finds another guy?
You don't.
If she does, she'll forget about you just like she did in Round 1.
This chick is a user, and an attention whóre who is only looking for validation to keep herself pumped up from her recently failed relationship.
Let her go, and find someone who is genuinely interested in you. The fact that you are confused is concrete evidence that she has low interest in the relationship.
YOU need to give HER some ṣhit tests. Don't contact her. Will she contact you? Flake on her. Will she be upset? Say you just went out on a date with some other girl (which you should). Will she care? Don't be afraid to cut her loose, she is not making your life any better.
Time for you to take the power back. Her actions, not her words will give you all the answers you need.
Good luck.
Thanks for all of the advice. I did exactly what you said and she came crawling back on her knees. For about a week now everything has been great until yesterday and today she is doing the same ****. Flaking out, being secretive about ****, constantly texting. Should I just not talk to her for a few days or confront her about all of this?
nismo-4
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Women who are interested in you WON'T confuse you.
Your princess is in another castle. Go ghost.
Case closed.
Your princess is in another castle. Go ghost.
Case closed.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.