Stuck in a situation...

[bowlofsyrup]

Alright so I've always never had a problem getting a girl until this past year. I'm not a player and I generally dislike using girls to satisfy myself. I genuinely like and care for all the girls that I date.

Now that that is out of the way... I hav ea dilemma.

This girl i've been talking to for the past 3 weeks I've begun to really fall for. I had been treated like **** by an ex and the new girl understands entirely what i feel and how to make me feel better. The thing is, last week, she hooked up with this guy at a party and left me torn/confused. I thought it sucked but i moved on.

Last night the guy she is currently "with" (not officially) left early so I took care of her because she was sick. We had a long ass conversation and i held her in my arms and if i wanted to i could have kissed her. I didn't because the guy she hooked up with i told him I'd be a good friend and not interfere. She had told me, however, ever since that night she hooked upw ith him i've been acting strange. I stoped texting her and talking to her and she was saying how he doesn't care and he only talks to her about going out and whatnot. She mentioned that she missed the fact that I would ask her about her day and cared about what she said rather what she was doing that night. I even texted her on v-day before she went to the club to be safe and have a good time, whereass he didn't say a single word to her. I told her one thing the night they hooked up and said that i couldn't finish what i as saying because she would thank me later.

(What i said was that I liked her and that i didn't want to interefere- letting her have the oppurtunity to do what she wanted and date the guy if she wanted to). She forced it out of me and i told her, and she kissed me on the cheek before i even finished my sentence.

So now i don't even know what to do. Does she want to be with him or me? She said that she can''t just "cut" him loose, but that I can do wahtever i want. I insisted that it's her choice and whatever she does it'll be her decision.

I would love any advice/tips if anyone could help me. I really really like this girl but am absolutely lost in terms of what to do. Thanks in advanced

 

[vitor]

Ok, stop hanging out with her and being around, if she wants to get with you she will call you. You made yourself a buddy and gave up all the power. The reason she likes him is because he acts like he does not care. You are like her close girlfriend who cares about her, her day and her feelings.
You = Niceguy = friendzone
He= Bad guy, Mysterios, the guy who gets to sleep with her.

 

[TheDoctor]

Ok, stop hanging out with her and being around, if she wants to get with you she will call you. You made yourself a buddy and gave up all the power. The reason she likes him is because he acts like he does not care. You are like her close girlfriend who cares about her, her day and her feelings.
You = Niceguy = friendzone
He= Bad guy, Mysterios, the guy who gets to sleep with her.

What vitor says is true. listen to him.

 

[RayHessel]

Ok, stop hanging out with her and being around, if she wants to get with you she will call you. You made yourself a buddy and gave up all the power. The reason she likes him is because he acts like he does not care. You are like her close girlfriend who cares about her, her day and her feelings.
You = Niceguy = friendzone
He= Bad guy, Mysterios, the guy who gets to sleep with her.

/thread

 

[Julian]

u trollin brah?

 

[cw92]

Alright so I've always never had a problem getting a girl until this past year. I'm not a player and I generally dislike using girls to satisfy myself. I genuinely like and care for all the girls that I date.

Now that that is out of the way... I hav ea dilemma.

This girl i've been talking to for the past 3 weeks I've begun to really fall for. I had been treated like **** by an ex and the new girl understands entirely what i feel and how to make me feel better. The thing is, last week, she hooked up with this guy at a party and left me torn/confused. I thought it sucked but i moved on.

She obviously didnt have any romatic feelings for you, or else she would not have been hooking up with this guy.
Last night the guy she is currently "with" (not officially) left early so I took care of her because she was sick. We had a long ass conversation and i held her in my arms and if i wanted to i could have kissed her. I didn't because the guy she hooked up with i told him I'd be a good friend and not interfere.

First, the guy she is fvking leaves her when she's sick, and your left to take care of her? Im not an expert like many on this forum but this screams "emotional tapon"

Second, was HE being a good friend when he hooked up with your chick?!? Answer : NO Come on man.

She had told me, however, ever since that night she hooked upw ith him i've been acting strange. I stoped texting her and talking to her and she was saying how he doesn't care and he only talks to her about going out and whatnot. She mentioned that she missed the fact that I would ask her about her day and cared about what she said rather what she was doing that night.

Yeah you've been acting strange because your not there for her to dump all her emotional sh1t on. Yeah, she misses you asking about her day, just like FRIEND. You know what she really misses? You're attention.
I even texted her on v-day before she went to the club to be safe and have a good time, whereass he didn't say a single word to her. I told her one thing the night they hooked up and said that i couldn't finish what i as saying because she would thank me later.

(What i said was that I liked her and that i didn't want to interefere- letting her have the oppurtunity to do what she wanted and date the guy if she wanted to).

Why would you say this? I know how you feel I experienced almost the same situation.
She forced it out of me and i told her, and she kissed me on the cheek before i even finished my sentence.

She kisses you on the cheek, while she fvcks and svcks the other guy?

Does she want to be with him or me? She said that she can''t just "cut" him loose, but that I can do wahtever i want. I insisted that it's her choice and whatever she does it'll be her decision.

I'm sorry man but she wants him, the truth is you've been friend-zoned, and as you will find escaping this is almost impossible. I think in your situation its over. Read some of "Igetit!" 's posts. CLICK HIS SIGNATURE.



I would love any advice/tips if anyone could help me. I really really like this girl but am absolutely lost in terms of what to do. Thanks in advanced

You have One-itis, the best you can do is move on. DO NOT CONTACT HER AGAIN.

I gave the best advice I could, as I am not amazingly experienced, but I can see some faults.

 

[slaog]

You're a friend and the badboy is the lover. She likes to talk to you but only as a friend because thats how she sees you. She knew you liked her even before you told her you liked her.


Why does she like the badboy more then you you might be wondering. Well he has more value then you. That simple means he knows he is the prize and the girl is lucky to have him while you see the girl as being the prize. If she's the prize then you're below her. You need to realise this simple concept.


I also reckon he's just using her for sex by the sounds of things.

(What i said was that I liked her and that i didn't want to interefere- letting her have the oppurtunity to do what she wanted and date the guy if she wanted to). She forced it out of me and i told her, and she kissed me on the cheek before i even finished my sentence.

It's great for the ego when a person knows somebody likes them. I don't know why she kissed you. Thats an odd thing.

 

[bowlofsyrup]

well thanks for all the ever-so harsh feedback. I see what i got to do now. As of now i'm going to just not talk to her/rarely talk to her. What should I do when she decides to start talking to me though? As in, how would i know i'm not just being a little ho and not used as an emotional dump

 

[Igetit!]

Cw92,you hit the nail right on the head. Couldn't have explained it better myself.

You're a friend and the badboy is the lover. She likes to talk to you but only as a friend because thats how she sees you. She knew you liked her even before you told her you liked her.

Why does she like the badboy more then you you might be wondering. Well he has more value then you. That simple means he knows he is the prize and the girl is lucky to have him while you see the girl as being the prize. If she's the prize then you're below her. You need to realise this simple concept.

Good info here Slaog. Hopefully Bowlofsyrup can learn a thing or two from this.[/QUOTE]

I don't know why she kissed you. Thats an odd thing.

Slaog,you don't know why she kissed him? I don't think this one is too hard to figure out. She likes the attention she's getting from him. The kiss is simply to lead him on. She's toying with him. The kiss on the cheek means nothing to her,but she knows that the Op will misinterpet it and take it the wrong way. Because of that kiss,he'll continue to hang around her,which means she'll continue to have someone to ask her about her day,and someone to talk to about her emotions and problems she has with her boyfriend. If all it takes is just a kiss on the cheek to ensure she keeps getting to use this guy as a orbiter,then from her point of view,that's not too much to ask.

She has these two guys in her life. The boyfriend and Bowlofsyrup. She gives the boyfriend sex to keep him around. She gives the OP a kiss on the cheek to keep him around. She gives out the minimum amount to get the maximum back. The boyfriend is a bad boy. You think he'd hang around if all she offered to him was an occasional kiss on the cheek? I doubt it. He requires more,so he get's more. She knows the OP would stay around her if she were to give him sex,but why give him that much of herself if he's willing to settle for an occasional peck on the cheek?

A lot of guy think that women aren't logical,but that's not true. This girl knows what she's doing. Why spend a thousand dollars on furniture when you can go down the street to another store and get the same furniture for 500?

It sucks to be in a situation like this,but it's the Op's fault. You get what you ask for,you get what you're willing to settle for.