Stuck, how to proceed?

[HammerinHank]

This is my first post. My current predicament is what led me to these forums a few weeks back. So I thought it would only be fair to throw it out there. I have really enjoyed the posts on here. I have reexamined my approach to women, and focused much more on my confidence. The problem is I am still finding myself stuck. It's kind of a oneitis type situation, but a little bit different. Here goes: I got divorced a year ago. We parted on good terms, and fortunately no kids. At work, there is a girl who is an intern, and she works for me. Before you get a picture that I am a sleaze bucket, realize that I never cheated on my wife, or done anything like that. The intern I mentioned and I have spent hours upon hours working very closely together. We actually have fun together. That's how this started. We make each other laugh, we have so many similar interests, it's crazy, and when she looks at me, she looks deeply into my eyes. So obviously, at some point I began to develop feelings for her. Now I'm not completely bat**** crazy. I can't peruse this girl. I could get fired, all sorts of bad things could happen. So I've kept myself in check in that respect. She flirts with me, but mainly in an innocent way, and I honestly have no idea if she has entertained any notion of us romantically in her mind. I sometimes think she must know how I feel, because we are so close like that. This girl can read my like nobody I've ever met. She's called me out twice when I was in a bad mood, and I was actually trying to cover it up so she wouldn't notice. We text, Facebook, email, all the time. I generally care about her well-being, and we have hung out together at night with some friends going to bars and what not. I am now at the point where she is more important to me than any other girl in my life. And I know that's crazy. I've read the posts. I've dated a couple of times and tried to keep a open mind. I've tried to hold back on the outside work contact, but so far, all I have really been able to do is not be the one to send the first text, but I always end up responding when she texts me. I can't shut her out of my life because she works with me, and besides, we do get along so well. I guess I have sort of intentionally friend zoned myself. If this were any other situation I would have pursued her quickly, and if rejected, moved on fairly normally. In my mind, I just don't want to let go of the possibility that I might have a chance with her after she leaves the internship, but that won't be for another year and a half. I'm 30 and she is 25, so it's not like we are all that different in terms of age range. I guess I am just stuck and not sure the best way to move forward. Fire away guys. Please tell me how pathetic I am! Any advice would be most appreciated.

 

[shizz702]

If it wouldn't effect you professionally I don't see the harm in going out with her outside of work, as long you continue to take care of business on the job.

I know it is kind of taboo to do the dating thing with coworkers, but if you really feel this strongly for it maybe you should just go for it. Don't get too attached though, sounds like you are heading towards onetis for her already. Be careful.

 

[window]

This is a tough one. I think given you have progressed so far into the friend zone it is now important you dont pursue this girl. Otherwise it just gets awkward if it doesnt work out. So in this situation I'd let her come to you. Remember girls like to chase as well...so just keep what you're doing and be happy with where it is at. just my 2c.

See what's happening here is you are operating from your mind. If you have to think about "what you should do" then normally it is better to do nothing. So just relax and see where it goes. Be ok with whatever happens else you will start to tighten up.

 

[HammerinHank]

Thanks for the thoughts. As hard as it is, I feel like the only thing I can do now is play it cool and see what happens when we are in a position to see if it can work out. I hooked up with a different girl on NYE, and I did enjoy myself, but I still found myself thinking of her at midnight.