Stuck and want to get out

[wt_firefighter]

I have a very hard time approaching women, whether it be in bars, on the street, cold approaching, it doesn't matter. I always get this feeling that the girl could do much better then me, and to make things worse, I am extremely picky, I feel like Jason Alexander's character on "Shallow Hal".
I care to much of what other people think of me when I shouldn't. I also go to a school with 15,000 students, it is not if I will see someone again but when I will see them again, this really causes me problems when it comes to approaching women on campus. The bar scene is not optimal because the same people are always at the same bars.

I am writing this this to help me visually see the good qualities that I have.

1. I have to B.A.degrees and I am currently in graduate school
2. 6'2" 185 pounds, so not ripped but in good shape.
3. Good at keeping a conversation going, if started by someone else
4. I am active, fly fish, ride snowmobiles, cut firewood, etc.
5. Good sense of humor
6. Hot or not, one of my pictures was a 9 and the other was a 7.5, so going off that I am at least decent looking.
7. Great family
8. Open minded
9. Good genetics
10. Easy going

 

[GotED?]

Not to PSYCHO-analyze you, but have you looked deeply at how your relationship with your own mother was when you grew up?

Did you fight much with your mother? Your relationshp with the first woman in your life (mother) dictates a lot of the interaction that is to come with other women in the adult life (conditioning like Pavlov the dog).

So if you were not close to your mother or she never praised you much, you would have a difficult time relating to women or feeling easy around them.

I had to really examine myself when I was in my late 30's to realize why I was so shy and hard on myself with women for 30+ years.

Take some time to secure yourself from within, before you do so on the outside. You can fake what you think you are on the outside but it all comes crashing down when you have zero foundation inside of knowing who you are.

With respect,

Exodus

 

[Plutoman]

My best suggestion is to go somewhere a little ways away, and try to make a few approaches in a place you won't be going back to often. See how those approaches go, and you'll gain confidence to make approaches in your hometown when you realize that it's much less awkward than you might think.

Often times, I talk to a girl, ask her out, get a boyfriend line/rejection of some kind, I smile, and go on my way. I'll see her often again, too, I just greet her like I would any other acquaintance - say hey, how's it going, don't get deep into conversation, but just a normal guy.

Act like it isn't awkward, and everyone will follow suit.

 

[moneyisking]

Goted, I am very friendly and close with my mother, but that doesn't make approaching women easier, so I see those irrelevant. Now OP, seems like you're down-to-earth, goody good guy, and I know many men like you who are cool and all, but they are kind of boring. Just plain dull sorry to say. I like to hang out with responsible bros who sometimes know how to have fun, and I bet girls also want to hang out with responsible guys who can have fun sometimes too. Don't be goody good man bro, be badazz, be responsible, do your sh!t, workout hard, also be bad when you need to. you will do well sir

 

[wt_firefighter]

Thanks for the feed back. I have always thought that the perfect girl would come into my life instead of me coming into her life, but this will not happen. I basically need to nut up and shut up.