Struggling with breakup

[vanballmoos]

My ex broke up with me (having lots of arguments) but then came back two weeks later wanting to rekindle things. I told her that I was happy and had mentally moved. 20 min after she left I messaged her. I ended up messaging her 4 times in 24 hrs (still venting). She ignored 3 of my messages. She responded to my 4th message the next day saying she loves me but that I need counseling. I responded to that but she ignored that too. I sent her another message later that evening and she ignored it. About a week later I sent her a message saying that I’m having a difficult time. She replied back it’s difficult for her too.

That was over a week and we haven’t spoken since. I've been looking at all her insta stories and snapchat posts and liked her pictures. She hasn't looked at any of my stuff. Guess I'm just having a hard time and clearly, she's fine.

 

[dude99]

My ex broke up with me (having lots of arguments) but then came back two weeks later wanting to rekindle things. I told her that I was happy and had mentally moved. 20 min after she left I messaged her. I ended up messaging her 4 times in 24 hrs (still venting). She ignored 3 of my messages. She responded to my 4th message the next day saying she loves me but that I need counseling. I responded to that but she ignored that too. I sent her another message later that evening and she ignored it. About a week later I sent her a message saying that I’m having a difficult time. She replied back it’s difficult for her too.

That was over a week and we haven’t spoken since. I've been looking at all her insta stories and snapchat posts and liked her pictures. She hasn't looked at any of my stuff. Guess I'm just having a hard time and clearly, she's fine.

You stated that you mentally moved. Im guessing to say you moved on.

If you have moved on why are you spending so much time messaging girl who is ignoring most of your texts?

Go date other women. This one is history.

 

[vanballmoos]

You stated that you mentally moved. Im guessing to say you moved on.

If you have moved on why are you spending so much time messaging girl who is ignoring most of your texts?

Go date other women. This one is history.

How is it history?

 

[bizzym]

You said you're happy and mentally moved on? That’s a hilarious joke. Why would you say that when clearly your actions didn't line up?

My guess is you were super butt hurt that she broke up with you so bit off more than you could chew and returned the favor. If you moved on and you’re happy there’s no need to communicate any further. Definitely don't bombard her with messages the same night you end things. She called your bluff and now you screwed up. You're the one still looking at her social media-another indicator you haven't moved on. Put your pride aside and go get her or truly go NC.

 

[dude99]

How is it history?

She broke up with you. She is ignoring 9 out of 10 if your texts. Meaning she is answering 1 in 10 to keep you on the string but no where near interested enough to work on things

She says " you need counceling." Her way of saying the failure of the relationship is your fault. Notice it wasn't we need....it was you need.

She goes silent for a week. That isn't working on the relationship. That means she doesn't miss you. A girl that misses you would not go a week with zero contact. She would reach out.


How is it history? Dude. Red pill time. You cant see it because you still want it.

 

[vanballmoos]

She broke up with you. She is ignoring 9 out of 10 if your texts. Meaning she is answering 1 in 10 to keep you on the string but no where near interested enough to work on things

She says " you need counceling." Her way of saying the failure of the relationship is your fault. Notice it wasn't we need....it was you need.

She goes silent for a week. That isn't working on the relationship. That means she doesn't miss you. A girl that misses you would not go a week with zero contact. She would reach out.


How is it history? Dude. Red pill time. You cant see it because you still want it.

I just figured she was being like this since I said I didn't want to rekindle things with her and haven't actually said I wanted to get back together she is moving on because she thinks I don't want her. You don't think it was a good sign that she said that it's hard for her too?

 

[dude99]

I just figured she was being like this since I said I didn't want to rekindle things with her and haven't actually said I wanted to get back together she is moving on because she thinks I don't want her. You don't think it was a good sign that she said that it's hard for her too?

I think it was lip service. If it was hard for her you would hear from her frequently.

A girl that wants to be with you would never let a week go by with zero contact.

If she was interested and seen your value she would not give you the opportunity to go out and meet someone else.

You need to pay attention to her actions. Not the words she says.

 

[vanballmoos]

I think it was lip service. If it was hard for her you would hear from her frequently.

A girl that wants to be with you would never let a week go by with zero contact.

If she was interested and seen your value she would not give you the opportunity to go out and meet someone else.

You need to pay attention to her actions. Not the words she says.

Right, but aren't my actions saying the same thing? After she said this was hard for her too neither one of us has said anything.

 

[chris2for]

I think it was lip service. If it was hard for her you would hear from her frequently.

A girl that wants to be with you would never let a week go by with zero contact.

If she was interested and seen your value she would not give you the opportunity to go out and meet someone else.

You need to pay attention to her actions. Not the words she says.

Right, but aren't my actions saying the same thing? After she said this was hard for her too neither one of us has said anything.

if OP hasn't said anything to her since she said it was hard for me too I think it looks like he has moved on.OP's actions doesn't look like he wants to get back together so that's probably why she hasn't said anything.

 

[dude99]

Right, but aren't my actions saying the same thing? After she said this was hard for her too neither one of us has said anything.

No texting her 4 times a day and following her online activity tell her you have no options and are hoping she comes around. You are 100% in her frame making you DOA.

Your next actions should be this. Delete her on all social media. Do not look at them do not follow them. Delete her number from your phone. Do not answer texts from her. Do not save them. Do not read them. This one is history.

Delete. Next.
Go date other women.

Go date more women. Hit the gym. Go date other women. Learn to play the guitar. Go date other women. Start jogging 4 miles a day. Go date other women. Learn to paint. Go date other women.

Focuson you

 

[dude99]

if OP hasn't said anything to her since she said it was hard for me too I think it looks like he has moved on.OP's actions doesn't look like he wants to get back together so that's probably why she hasn't said anything.

She hasn't even had the chance to miss him yet. She is entertainng attention from new dudes and he is still texting her. He is still in her frame.

Zero contact from him for 8 weeks, then 12 weeks then 20 weeks then 6 months, deleting and ignoring all attempts she makes to contact you that tells a girl i've moved on.

Not texting her and telling her im having a hard time.

 

[chris2for]

No texting her 4 times a day and following her online activity tell her you have no options and are hoping she comes around. You are 100% in her frame making you DOA.

Your next actions should be this. Delete her on all social media. Do not look at them do not follow them. Delete her number from your phone. Do not answer texts from her. Do not save them. Do not read them. This one is history.

Delete. Next.
Go date other women.

Go date more women. Hit the gym. Go date other women. Learn to play the guitar. Go date other women. Start jogging 4 miles a day. Go date other women. Learn to paint. Go date other women.

Focuson you

How is looking at her snapchat keeping him in her frame? It's just social media. Looking and liking things doesn't mean anything.

 

[Reykhel]

My ex broke up with me (having lots of arguments)

End of thread.
Here's a rule: if a biatch ends your relationship it means that her interest level has reached an all time low. Think about it logically, if she had high interest then she would never risk breaking up with you. The rule is if she breaks up once you don't give her the opportunity to break up twice.

In fact, state it up front "there's no going back for me if a girl wants to finish it. If it's done it's done"

Do not start analyzing what she said after the fact.....once she said it's over, it means her interest level is at an all time low and that's all you need to know....

...why would you want to keep a biatch with low interest level in your life? You don't. She'll make your life hell. She'll disrespect you, look for fights, put you down, cheat. Cut her loose.

She's now trash to you. Put the thrash out and don't look back.

saying she loves me but that I need counseling

Fvck this cvnt. Who is she? your shrink? You don't need a codependent cvnt in your life. Fvck her.

About a week later I sent her a message saying that I’m having a difficult time

Ok listen....tough love time....you are a needy little boy (the self control Reykhel showed there by only writing boy was impressive)....
You don't need counseling.....

You need to work on your masculinity.

Telling a biatch that your having a hard time? Let's look back at that in a years time and laugh...

It's a double standard in society but a man must be the stoic rational one in the relationship as the woman is emotional and reactionary...
A man is the island and the woman is the waves bashing against him. This may be unfair but deal with it. Weak men are despised in society. If you tell a woman you are depressed she loses respect for you. As a man in society, you get no sympathy. You swim or sink. Whereas a woman has many safety nets in society....betas and white knights are only too willing to pay her rent for her.....she gets pregnant from a one night stand....no problem she doesn't have to take responsibility for her poor choices....the government will provide for her, a willing beta will adopt and provide for the kid. She's depressed? poor baby...what can we do for you? your depressed? Alone. man up ****e sucker...

You cannot have two emotional people in a relationship. The relationship, just like the island will cave in on itself.

This one is dead, but it means nothing. For you see you have greater things to pursue now...

You have a journey ahead of you.

 

[vanballmoos]

End of thread.
Here's a rule: if a biatch ends your relationship it means that her interest level has reached an all time low. Think about it logically, if she had high interest then she would never risk breaking up with you. The rule is if she breaks up once you don't give her the opportunity to break up twice.

In fact, state it up front "there's no going back for me if a girl wants to finish it. If it's done it's done"

Do not start analyzing what she said after the fact.....once she said it's over, it means her interest level is at an all time low and that's all you need to know....

...why would you want to keep a biatch with low interest level in your life? You don't. She'll make your life hell. She'll disrespect you, look for fights, put you down, cheat. Cut her loose.

She's now trash to you. Put the thrash out and don't look back.


Fvck this cvnt. Who is she? your shrink? You don't need a codependent cvnt in your life. Fvck her.


Ok listen....tough love time....you are a needy little boy (the self control Reykhel showed there by only writing boy was impressive)....
You don't need counseling.....

You need to work on your masculinity.

Telling a biatch that your having a hard time? Let's look back at that in a years time and laugh...

It's a double standard in society but a man must be the stoic rational one in the relationship as the woman is emotional and reactionary...
A man is the island and the woman is the waves bashing against him. This may be unfair but deal with it. Weak men are despised in society. If you tell a woman you are depressed she loses respect for you. As a man in society, you get no sympathy. You swim or sink. Whereas a woman has many safety nets in society....betas and white knights are only too willing to pay her rent for her.....she gets pregnant from a one night stand....no problem she doesn't have to take responsibility for her poor choices....the government will provide for her, a willing beta will adopt and provide for the kid. She's depressed? poor baby...what can we do for you? your depressed? Alone. man up ****e sucker...

You cannot have two emotional people in a relationship. The relationship, just like the island will cave in on itself.

This one is dead, but it means nothing. For you see you have greater things to pursue now...

You have a journey ahead of you.

She said I need counseling because I lost my brother and that I never grieved. I just went into work the next day. She said that wasn't healthy so she said it was affecting our relationship. She broke up with me because according to her I kept nitpicking and belittling her and started arguments.

 

[Reykhel]

She said I need counseling because I lost my brother and that I never grieved

Everyone grieves in their own way. It's not up to her to tell you that you need counseling. Times like this is a good opportunity to use the word NO to your woman. Don't let them make you doubt yourself. She needs counseling.

I just went into work the next day

That's stoic. Life goes on. Reykhel doesn't think you need counseling. These biatches will try to undermine you...

She broke up with me because according to her I kept nitpicking and belittling her and started arguments.

Is her feedback valid or is she gas lighting you? (giving you a different perception of reality)

If it is valid, well you lowered her interest with your critical behavior. Take it on the chin and decide if that's worth addressing.

 

[vanballmoos]

Everyone grieves in their own way. It's not up to her to tell you that you need counseling. Times like this is a good opportunity to use the word NO to your woman. Don't let them make you doubt yourself. She needs counseling.


That's stoic. Life goes on. Reykhel doesn't think you need counseling. These biatches will try to undermine you...


Is her feedback valid or is she gas lighting you? (giving you a different perception of reality)

If it is valid, well you lowered her interest with your critical behavior. Take it on the chin and decide if that's worth addressing.

No she was right. I even admitted to being an a**hole to her. I've never loved anyone like I've loved her, but I've also never been so reckless with how I talk to a woman before. I know I've been erratic at times.

 

[Reykhel]

No she was right. I even admitted to being an a**hole to her. I've never loved anyone like I've loved her, but I've also never been so reckless with how I talk to a woman before. I know I've been erratic at times.

Excellent. So you're somebody who takes responsibility for their actions and doesn't play the victim blaming the other person. Reykhel approves. It's much easier to move forward and advance if we take full responsibility for our life experience rather than blaming exterior forces and people. People like that are still angry twenty years later about something their ex's "did to them"

Check out this thread: It's about Doc Love's The System.....pay particular attention to "Three Major Male Traits: Men need to always develop and observe, develop and maintain. Sane women respond positively to these traits."

Just like you'll see and admitted it was precisely your lack of these traits that lowered her interest level.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/homage-to-doc-loves-the-system.241042/

Knowledge is power. But without action knowledge is useless.

Once we recognize our weaknesses or where we need growth, we do not cry about it and fall into addiction, but rather commit to a life of growth and excellence.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with the other posters. This one is history. Guaranteed the arguments were her needing a reason to dump you so she could start seeing the new guy or to put herself back on the market. Doesn' matter if it was you need counseling, you can't load the dishwasher correct or you accidentally stepped on her cat. She said that its over and that's all that matters.

Men can make instant poor decisions out of emotion and regret it 10 minutes later. "Babe I really didn't mean it. Come over here and let me make it up to you" and everything is back on track.

But when a woman dumps YOU, it has been given a lot of thought, it's not something that just popped in her brain yesterday when she got mad at you. Chances are a new guy is already on the hook OR she has a single friend pulling her back into the dating scene by telling her she can do better and how much fun she is missing by being with you.

But make no mistake, women won't leave their man to go away and be alone. There is someone there ready to give her attention.

It's over. Block her on every form of social media so you dont see the snaps and fb updates with her new guy. Ignore her breadcrumb texts. Go find someone better than her (yes they are out there if you stop crying over this one and start looking) and enjoy your life. It's too short to be crying over some girl who doesn't want to be with you anymore.

 

[dude99]

How is looking at her snapchat keeping him in her frame? It's just social media. Looking and liking things doesn't mean anything.

It is making him pine over her and he can't let go and move on.

Read the nc challenge board. It will help.

 

[vanballmoos]

I agree with the other posters. This one is history. Guaranteed the arguments were her needing a reason to dump you so she could start seeing the new guy or to put herself back on the market. Doesn' matter if it was you need counseling, you can't load the dishwasher correct or you accidentally stepped on her cat. She said that its over and that's all that matters.

Men can make instant poor decisions out of emotion and regret it 10 minutes later. "Babe I really didn't mean it. Come over here and let me make it up to you" and everything is back on track.

But when a woman dumps YOU, it has been given a lot of thought, it's not something that just popped in her brain yesterday when she got mad at you. Chances are a new guy is already on the hook OR she has a single friend pulling her back into the dating scene by telling her she can do better and how much fun she is missing by being with you.

But make no mistake, women won't leave their man to go away and be alone. There is someone there ready to give her attention.

It's over. Block her on every form of social media so you dont see the snaps and fb updates with her new guy. Ignore her breadcrumb texts. Go find someone better than her (yes they are out there if you stop crying over this one and start looking) and enjoy your life. It's too short to be crying over some girl who doesn't want to be with you anymore.

That’s the thing she did still want to be with me. She said she got tired of me always being a jerk to her but she wanted to try and fix things, but that’s when I told her that I was happy and moved on.