Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Stressed by 40 coming up........

TonyBaloney

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So i'm nearly 39..... its been a long and winding road so far involving blondes, brunettes, blacks, browns, *****es, bulldogs, breasts, bratz, beds, buggery, blatant bull shyting, but no babys.................

Yeah i do want 2.4 children and the happy home with a big breasted wife wiping my puke off me in my dottage.....

My problem is ~ Where do u find that mother /settling material

~ How does a player refrain from the game


Its bugging me alot - feels like old father time is betraying me - feels like he's grabbed me by the collar and told me to grow up.

Did settle between 21-22, 22-24, 27-28 had a bpd, 30-35 nice but moody girl, had a bpd between 35-38 - and here I am......

ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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thebluntguy

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I'm really not trying to be a jerk, but come on. We all get older. We should gain more self confidence and learn how to handle things better as we get older. I know it's hard, but we can't do anything about getting older so why whine?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Desdinova

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I was beginning to worry about this myself until I landed a 21 year old girlfriend. Her friends are all "OMG! He's old! What if he does something weird?" Her response? "He's not weird, he's cool!"

Age is just a number. It's your personality that will ultimately attract or repel women.
 

zekko

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TonyBaloney said:
So i'm nearly 39..... its been a long and winding road so far involving blondes, brunettes, blacks, browns, *****es, bulldogs, breasts, bratz, beds, buggery, blatant bull shyting, but no babys
Sounds like the OP is not really worried about getting older so much as being concerned with not finding the right girl to settle down with.

I tend to stress when I hit the milestones - always on the "9s" - 29, 39, 49.
Anyway, the 40s are no big deal, I didn't find them much different than my 30s. I found my current girlfriend when I was 43 (she was 28).
Now the 50s, I have noticed some slowing down.

samspade said:
As Doc Love would say, "Does George Clooney worry about getting older?"
Maybe not, but even Clooney's number is going to come up at some point.
 

TonyBaloney

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samspade said:
As Doc Love would say, "Does George Clooney worry about getting older?"
Too true, and a heroic model for all of us. My personal all time ***** finder general is rock god Mick Jagger. But like Clooney, Jagger has a few pounds in the bank, and us humble mortals have more to worry about
 

ilikecharlene

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why settle down? life is a free for all, do as you please. It's what Alphas do. ;)
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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vatoloco

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TonyBaloney said:
Its bugging me alot - feels like old father time is betraying me - feels like he's grabbed me by the collar and told me to grow up.

Did settle between 21-22, 22-24, 27-28 had a bpd, 30-35 nice but moody girl, had a bpd between 35-38 - and here I am......

ADVICE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, for starters, I am gonna call you out and say that you wasted A LOT of time. To spend years with the wrong woman is a HUGE waste of time! If a chick ain't doing it for you, drop her. That way you don't waste time, money and effort on the wrong woman.

Now, have you grown as a Man and reached that point where you know what you truly want out of Life? Do you already know what you want and don't want in a woman? Are you a happy person BY YOURSELF, not needing a woman to complete you?

Now, it is possible to find good women out there. At our age, however, a lot of them are Damaged Goods. I recommend exploring younger girls, who don't have as much Baggage as their 30-something counterparts. This, of course, only works if you are The Prize...

Remember, you don't have to settle for the wrong woman if you are indeed The Prize. Also, read this thread by Kailex for an interesting take on getting older.
 

bigneil

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TonyBaloney said:
So i'm nearly 39.....
Don't worry, I'm 41. Last year when I was 40-41 was my best year with 4 new women, including 3 of my hottest. Stay in shape. Make sure your metabolic age is less than 40 (mine was 27 on my 40th birthday and I got it down to 18 at my top shape). Tanita makes the scale you want.

It's more important to eat right now.

My new girlfriend is 20 (she originally lied and said 23). I asked her how old she thought I was and she said 35. I said "I'm 41" and she said "See? Same thing."

Remember: Hugh Hefner was 39 in 1969.

vatoloco said:
Now, it is possible to find good women out there. At our age, however, a lot of them are Damaged Goods.
Yes, dating in middle age is like shopping at 2AM. There is still some product left on the shelf, but the buns are stale, the melons are bruised and the boxes have all been opened.

Remember: we don't want women, we want youthful feminine energy. I read that every man 40 or over would date a woman 20 years younger if he could.
 

Viagra4Soul

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You've got nothing to worry about kid. I'm 46, in the shape of my life, and meeting new women left, right and centre. 2 new dates this week, the new HB 8.5 Russian the following week.

Yes, they are older (the youngest I'm seeing is only down to 36) and some have baggage, but then by this age, so do you (I certainly have). It actually kinda helps in that you understand each other implicitly when you've come from the same experiences.

If you wanna keep dating 28 year old hotties, I'm sure you can. Me, I have no interest in that now - they bore me stupid. But don't be afraid of the older women. And certainly don't be afraid of your age - just keep yourself relevant.

Your 40's could be the best decade of your life.

Oh, and P.s. about those two BPD's in both previous decades, ummm... once bitten, twice shy surely?!?!?
 

TonyBaloney

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vatoloco said:
Well, for starters, I am gonna call you out and say that you wasted A LOT of time. To spend years with the wrong woman is a HUGE waste of time! If a chick ain't doing it for you, drop her..
Hey Vatoloco - I get your drift - but I dont think your really grasping the whole picture here. To be a lifelong (to 39) guy who had banged chick after chick, would cause MORE problems than it solved. EG Mental anguish at not having had a few hopes and dreams with a girl, pooanani burnout, potential
STDS, being ostracized by friends as the man who just shags ANYTHING, potentially also being thought of as a perv of another kind, and before you or someone else cracks up "we're Alpha, who cares" then FOOK RIGHT OFF - if an Alpha is that insane, he's unable to negotiate with human life and will never have any kind of normal relationship. At least with these girls, I tried, they tried, it wasnt meant to be for a variety of some technical, some simple reasons. At least I never got the ball and chain......


vatoloco said:
That way you don't waste time, money and effort on the wrong woman..
With the greatest respect V, thats one of the most BETA things i've ever heard on here.... effort is easy, money comes and goes like women......you understand...... I grant you time is precious.......


vatoloco said:
Now, have you grown as a Man and reached that point where you know what you truly want out of Life? Do you already know what you want and don't want in a woman? Are you a happy person .



Yeah i do, pretty, young, big breasts, submissive to talk too, sub and dom in the bedroom...... Think that all of us could write a list as long as our arm, but we wont get it all.....your deluded if you think that you can.......as my wise old Grandfather used to say, marriage and relationships are a series of compromises........ am I a happy? That is a mallable thing, and I cant honestly say that I am walking around like a chesire cat with a big grin all day; I am satisfied...mostly.....

vatoloco said:
Now, it is possible to find good women out there. At our age, however, a lot of them are Damaged Goods. I recommend exploring younger girls, who don't have as much Baggage as their 30-something counterparts. This, of course, only works if you are The Prize....
I agree with this......Recent experiences have taught me this. BUT beware.....cute (but wrong) 20 year olds, turn into tommorrows 40 year old hags...... Hugh Hefner could confirm this.......:)

@Viagara & Big neil - Thanks guys....I stay in shape..... I am a tree surgeon, so have to be climbing big English oak trees :) Suggest you tap in to google "92 year old bodybuilder"....Old Dr who took up the weights at 85, and has got his hard ons back at 92 lol ha ha :yes:
 

vatoloco

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TonyBaloney said:
Hey Vatoloco - I get your drift - but I dont think your really grasping the whole picture here. To be a lifelong (to 39) guy who had banged chick after chick, would cause MORE problems than it solved. EG Mental anguish at not having had a few hopes and dreams with a girl, pooanani burnout, potential STDS, being ostracized by friends as the man who just shags ANYTHING, potentially also being thought of as a perv of another kind, and before you or someone else cracks up "we're Alpha, who cares" then FOOK RIGHT OFF - if an Alpha is that insane, he's unable to negotiate with human life and will never have any kind of normal relationship. At least with these girls, I tried, they tried, it wasnt meant to be for a variety of some technical, some simple reasons. At least I never got the ball and chain......
True. You were smart/lucky enough not to get tied down to the wrong woman. But, eventually as you grew I am sure you realized that some of these women were trouble and/or no good long-term. And it is at that point that they should be dropped so that you can focus on candidates for "good ones."


With the greatest respect V, thats one of the most BETA things i've ever heard on here.... effort is easy, money comes and goes like women......you understand...... I grant you time is precious.......
We'll have to agree to disagree. My time, money and effort are very valuable to me so I don't like to waste them on women who are not worth it.


Yeah i do, pretty, young, big breasts, submissive to talk too, sub and dom in the bedroom...... Think that all of us could write a list as long as our arm, but we wont get it all.....your deluded if you think that you can.......as my wise old Grandfather used to say, marriage and relationships are a series of compromises........ am I a happy? That is a mallable thing, and I cant honestly say that I am walking around like a chesire cat with a big grin all day; I am satisfied...mostly.....
And that is exactly what I mean: do you know what your absolute "must haves" are? Do you know what you're willing and not willing to compromise on?


I agree with this......Recent experiences have taught me this. BUT beware.....cute (but wrong) 20 year olds, turn into tommorrows 40 year old hags...... Hugh Hefner could confirm this.......:)
Ha! Very true, my friend. That's why you find good young ones that have good values and who you can shape to your liking! :D
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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