"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GotToGetIt

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People of DJ good day. Long-time lurker, decided to post a lil recent situation that should give everyone here a little humor and leave them scratching their heads. Feedback on some strategy would be appreciated as well, although let me state from the outset, that whatever happens, I am enjoying this little ride.

Context (names et al., are changed to protect myself against the remote chance that someone in the matrix is reading this): one of few males in an otherwise heavily female dominated PhD graduate program. I will get to the point. I have hooked-up with one in the program, dated another LT for slightly under a year. Exited this relationship around October for many reasons (legit) incl. a lil game feeling for another girl in the program (HB7-7.5). Let me be clear that by no means was the HB7 the sole or primary factor in leaving the other relationship. That said, HB7 has a little history of flirting with me et al. from October forward. I clearly intuit her and peacock in the classroom and outside of it. Things progress. I know it is getting close to a little close and make-out. Before I elaborate on this, I note this girl is highly educated, intelligent, but to put it generally, a born-again Christian. I will leave my own speculation out of it, just suffice this is what she is.

Two weekends she is hard on me, tons of Kino back-and-forth, mirroring, all the good ****. Party Saturday night, she is flirting heavily with me...I try to close with a let's go out (as my wingman had said for sure was the right call) as we return at 3am. She proceeds to tell me she can't, b/c I am not Christian enough et al. Asks me if I believe JC is my savior at all. I am floored at the idiocy of all this as I am modestly Catholic, but by no means a bible bumper. I see the fragility of her veneer...she wants to know what I think and we talk for 2 hrs or so...after I said **** it it is 6am I'll walk you to your door and walk home. I got to her door and it was like taking candy from a candy shop to get a make-out. We both wanted it. I teased and then closed. Anyway, she calls me the following Wed. saying that she has prayed on this and asked her spirtual group leaders about it and that it would not be a good idea for her to go on a date with me b/c 'guys like you have lead me astray before'. She doesn't just say this and end the convo but clearly wants my reaction, as if it to get her to acquiesce. I don't. I more-or-less call her a goof, point out the idiocy of this, and then say "night"...she can't hang-up...silence for a bit...then finally I hang-up.

You'd think case closed. Nah. She is clearly conflicted re: her intentions. Still flirts with me moderately when out. Moderate to heavy Kino (particularly just this last weekend) when we were out in a group. Other females tell me outright that she is into me when we are out--and this only after a few moments of interaction. I am playing it suave, gaming other chix, although not to the extent to give her rationale to call me a dirtbag. But the point is clear. She doesn't like it even when I remotely game other chix.

Now, I could call her out on this idiocy, note her false pretenses of some born-again nonsense, and cut it. Either make her acquiesce or piss her off. I don't give a **** either way. Right now the game is fun. She makes herself look silly in front of me to her colleagues who she has told she won't go on a date with me but has not told them that she has made out with me. She stands in my office talking at me for 40minute clips somedays about all gangs of junk. Mostly I entertain it, but I make sure to give C+F particularly about her religious idiocy (to a certain degree) as well as other issues. I am in control of the conversation. She clearly looks up to me.

The query: Girl is well put-together outside of the religion gig. I am enjoying the game right now, but could equally as well light her up and call her out. Just this past weekend she handed me a pamphlet (concert ad) that I had passed up and said "Don't you like these artists"---it seemed to me that this was a slight opening for the previously mentioned 'no-date'.....at any rate, we can't have her ****-blocking, and thus far that has NOT been a problem. If it was, then I would clearly light her up. I am busy as it is with grad work so this is not a oneitis situation whatsoever although, as noted, I do like the girl.

Thoughts on how to proceed? Keep it as is and see if she will brake? Call her out? Like I said, right now I'm enjoying the ride. From all sources, girl is clearly VERY into me at a physical/emotional level and her religious idiocy is getting the way; now, on the bright side, I do think she realizes it partially......anyone had similar situations?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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joekerr31

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why dont you just invite her over to your place for a coffee? the rest will take care of itself.
 

GotToGetIt

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joekerr31 said:
why dont you just invite her over to your place for a coffee? the rest will take care of itself.
Joekerr31:
I think she is concerned that she will do things physically with me that are 'sinful' according to the born-again mentality. She uses kino in the presence of groups and it is slightly hard to isolate her, although on occasion she presents the opportunity, which I have taken, and may or may not take again, to take her where she clearly wants to be.

That said I am not chasing it. She offers these opportunities. What needs to happen is to create a nice little scneario where I can actually have her call her ownself out (which she is already doing as noted). We will see what plays in the next two or so days. I rolling DL completely.
 

joekerr31

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if you can get her to come over to your place under just about any pretense she'll probably drop her panties and go at you.
 

GotToGetIt

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Indeed. Let me dream one up. She already didn't allow herself the same night she called telling me she had "prayed on it" noted above...the time will present itself however.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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GotToGetIt

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Can this be moved back to the mature man forum now that my age has been noted?
 

gray_fox_9

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Invite her over for "bible study." Then make her scream,"Oh god!" all night.......:up:
 
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