"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Strange Situation With This Girl? WTF

soulforge

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I met this woman off pof.. been seeing her for around 4 months now..

I am 39 years old, and she is 45 years old.. we are spending quite a bit of time together.. doing boyfriend and girlfriend stuff.. like in a relationship.

But.. she keeps pointing out, that she is older than me, and she is ok with me meeting a younger woman for a relationship..

She has mentioned a few times that she might go abroad to live.. and i don't think she is expecting us to be together long term!!

My gut feeling is she is passing time with me, but when it comes to a proper relationship, she has got cold feet..

She is expecting to go on holiday with me, in two weeks time abroad..

I am thinking about cancelling the holiday.. going on holiday together is more of a girlfriend and boyfriend things.. this woman does not seem to want to commit to a relationship, so i could be leading myself on here..

I have feelings for her.. should i carry on seeing her?

Or pull back and stop all talk about relationships?

Do i carry on doing the relationship stuff with her, even tho i don't think we are in a relationship?

She keeps making an issue out of age, when its not a problem for me
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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BackInTheGame78

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Why are you the one doing relationship things? That's her job to do that...

She is telling you she wants to be FWB and you want a relationship?? Have your cake and eat it too brother...
 

dustmuffin

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Pull back emotionally. Don't invest in her. From what you described she is just having a good time. That isn't a bad thing. You can have a good time too. Just divest emotionally and let her lead the relationship details if there is to be one. If you can't get rid of your emotion you might try seeing less of her to ween yourself or just dump her. This might save you some pain.
 

soulforge

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I don't understand it.. she keeps stating the she will be ok if i meet a younger girl.. and she is happy to see me if and till that happens.

I don't think she wants us to be labled as bieng in a relationship.. yet we are doing everything that people in relationships do?

Holding hands, days out, nights in, holiday? Wtf

I,m thinking about emotionally pulling back, never push her for a relationship again.. cut out some of the lovey dovey stuff?

Also do i cancel this holiday?

Should I tell her straight what my expectations are? I.e i am looking for a long term relationship?

Or not say anything and just see how things go
 

WanderingMan

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I don't understand it.. she keeps stating the she will be ok if i meet a younger girl.. and she is happy to see me if and till that happens.
What don't you get?

What is the problem?

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU.

She just wants to have fun and have sex, and maybe experience a little lovey dovey cuddling in-between. But she(at least) isn't dull headed enough to realize that you two aren't going to spend the rest of your lives together.

Have fun with her, but don't get attached. She doesn't want you to get attached - and she's all but spelling this out to you. If you can't handle a plate (she is the definition of one) then move on before she breaks your poor little heart. Otherwise, ravage, have fun, have her treat you like a king, then move on.

****, man. Get it together.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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soulforge

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What don't you get?

What is the problem?

SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY YOU.

She just wants to have fun and have sex, and maybe experience a little lovey dovey cuddling in-between. But she(at least) isn't dull headed enough to realize that you two aren't going to spend the rest of your lives together.

Have fun with her, but don't get attached. She doesn't want you to get attached - and she's all but spelling this out to you. If you can't handle a plate (she is the definition of one) then move on before she breaks your poor little heart. Otherwise, ravage, have fun, have her treat you like a king, then move on.

****, man. Get it together.

Yes brah, i need to get my shiit together.. why the fuk should i push to have a relationship with a woman, who will never give me what i expect and deserve from a girlfriend..

Mix signals.. plus she goes out drinking quite alot, and i don't think that goes down with me well in the long run!

I need to step back.. absolutely no suggestions of a relationship with her..

She is a plate.. also the holiday will need to be cancelled..

Do i also need to cut down how much i see her, and tone down the lovey dovey bullshiit?
 

dustmuffin

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I would tone down the signs of affection. As far as seeing her it would depend on your emotions. Will you become more attached if you don't see her less?
 

Bokanovsky

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I don't understand it.. she keeps stating the she will be ok if i meet a younger girl.. and she is happy to see me if and till that happens.

I don't think she wants us to be labled as bieng in a relationship.. yet we are doing everything that people in relationships do?
I don't understand it either. Why on earth would you want to be in a long-term relationship with a 45 year old chick, considering you are 39??? WTF

This woman is straight up telling you that it's a causal fling. The holding hands stuff is just an intimacy thing. Just because it's not a long-term relationship doesn't mean that your d!ck and her vag are the only body parts that are allowed to come into physical contact..
 
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