"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Strange Situation and Oneitis!!...help me

Jonblood

Don Juan
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This girl is smokin. We have mutual friends so I'd see her often in casual settings, never got sexual or anything with her but she knew I was interested. I asked her out, she said no and I basically forgot about her completely. I have a class with her now, and hardly talk to her. Saw her at a party last weekend, didn't talk to her all night, went up to her kino escalated real quick made out in less than 20 seconds.

Now i have oneitis REAL BAD...I don't think she cares for me might have been a drunken hookup. Tonight, I have to go to a dance show with her and our mutual friends for a class. Should I try to escalate during the show, or just keep it casual and try to meet her at night when were boozed up.

What do you guys think are her thoughts about me and how should I go about this?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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loveshogun

Master Don Juan
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You know what the problem is, so fix it

Jonblood said:
Now i have oneitis REAL BAD...I don't think she cares for me might have been a drunken hookup. Tonight, I have to go to a dance show with her and our mutual friends for a class. Should I try to escalate during the show, or just keep it casual and try to meet her at night when were boozed up.

What do you guys think are her thoughts about me and how should I go about this?
This will sting. But, remember, if you ask a question, prepare to hear the answer. I have this advice because someone gave it to me when I was in the same situation as you, many years ago.

You already said it. You have one-itis real bad. You might win a couple of battles here and there with women, but you've gotta step up your game if you want to start winning the war.

Part of that is getting to a point where you have enough options that keep you from spending so much effort and thought trying to "get any one girl."

Instead, turn yourself into someone worth getting.

Remember, you're only spending so much time and thought on this because this is the one attractive girl you think you have a chance with.

If you had even 3 girls that you could choose to go out with who were as good looking, you wouldn't be getting hung up over this situation.

Look in the mirror. Do you see someone who kicks ass and who ladies swoon for? Since you're here asking that question, I doubt it. You can BE that person though - turn yourself into that version of you.

And, last piece of advice - don't pretend to be a better version of you. BECOME a better version of you.

You have to BE the change that will improve your life.

As for what to do with this one girl right now... just play it cool and casual. You have bigger fish to fry (yourself, for example). Holla.
 

Jonblood

Don Juan
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Thanks a lot guys! Thats good advice, and I appreciate you not being ****s or bs'ing me. I'll just act normal when were in a casual setting and next time I see her at a party I'll just get sexual and escalate.
 
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