Strange mixed signals (Experienced DJS, please advise)

[Page]

I haven't been here for fvcking ever, since i've learned how to solve my own problems for the most part. All but this:


I closed a chick 5 days ago. (I would rate her about an 8) I got the number, and I put it aside for a few days like I usually do. So far so good. My custom is normally to wait 6-7 days, (not to put on an act or anything, I am legitimately busy) but I jumped the gun tonight b/c I will see her in class tommorrow and it seems like a good idea to cal lbefore i see her in person again. (5 days is enough wait time, IMO) .

I got her on the phone, and I start about 1-2 minutes of meaningless small talk.

I then said something to this effect:

"Listen, I was setting up my weekend schedule and I was planning on doing something fun on friday night and I want you to join me."

At this, she says that she already has a BF.

I was surprised at this. I told her that that was cool and I would see her in class tommorrow, and I cut the convo and hung up.

Now, here's my question:

Why the fvck did she give me her number if she already had a BF? is she just d!cking with me and wasting my time?

My close technique is something like this:

" [meaningless convo here] .... I had a fun time talking with you. Perhaps we could continue this conversation later. Give me your number and we can pick this up some other time."

I have used this on different chicks for several years now, and always with good results. I believe that this approach removes all doubt as to my intentions, but in a subtle way.



My second question:

Should I have implied something different in my approach? what made her give me her number if she had a BF already? Should i change anything? Make my intentions more clear? Anything?

Please advise.

 

[Centaurion]

i think you did good. dont start doubting yourself, your approach is good, and so is your number close.

generally, chicks want to be desireed(sp?) they want to feel wanted and they feel good when a cool dude approaches them and wants their number, so they give it, even though they are committed to someone else.

wouldnt you feel appriciated/sexy/whatever if a chick approached you and wanted your number? same ting goes for them. they know it's just flirting and not a big deal.

 

[Page]

Originally posted by Centaurion
i think you did good. dont start doubting yourself, your approach is good, and so is your number close.

That is reassuring. My belief in my skills is generally sound.

Things like this cut into me a little at first, but I get over it pretty quickly. This time, i felt burned for about 5 minutes, but then I picked myself up, kind of like the liquid metal terminator from Terminator 2: You can shoot holes in that thing and stop it for a few seconds, but it instantly heals itself and gets right back up.

 

[luv_ya_amj]

Well...

You DID want to continue the convo another time, right?

So, depending on WHAT the convo was about exactly...



Why the hell are you surprised??

 

[thecraftylefty]

Centaurion's advice is pretty solid.

I just want to add that even though she has a BF and brought her up doesn't mean she is ecstatic about her relationship with him. Just a thought. You know how those damsels are.

Plus, as a general rule of thumb I give a girl two strikes. If she can't make it once I give her another try later on. When I try again and she still won't budge or doesn't give a counter offer, then I cut it loose forget about it.


thecraftylefty

 

[Sart]

CENTAURIAN

Just read what he said, pretty dead on. I agree with centaurian on this one.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

She knew your intentions - all women do!! She may have been trying ro be nice to you and sees you as a classmate buddy to chit chat. On the other hand, I don't think she is telling her b/f that she met you in class and that she gave you her number!!!

She is thinking about cheating on her current beau but wants to let you know to stick around and take it slow and you may be next in line if you are patient enough! She is a monkey grabbing the next branch! Prepare for some drama!

In the meantime stalk other women and let her know that you are a wanted man. Just know that if you have a serious relationship with her she'll probably do the same thing to you!!

 

[MindOverMatter]

question, did you ask her for her number in class? if so, she may have assumed that you just wanted it so you could keep in contact, in case you miss a week and need notes, or vice versa.

I've had the same problem way back when I followed the system outlined in the DJ bible (which is a great method for meeting flakes), few thoughts on how to prevent this sh!t from happening:

1.) going straight for the number. unless you are just trying to fill up your cellphone with useless numbers, getting the number is NOT the main goal here. hooking up is your #1 goal. the number is simply a tool you use to make that hook-up happen. instead of just asking her flat out for her number, tell her it was awesome meeting her, and that you'd like to take her out for coffee sometime (or some other activity). if she agrees, you throw the "what's your number" at her. i can't believe how much this little method helped reduce the flakes i was getting.

2.) waiting 5 days to call...

i'll take your word for it that you are busy, but the girl wont. you know why? because when you called her, you probably kept the phonecall short, 5-10 mins, just like the bible says right? how is this girl gonna be convinced that you couldn't find time in FIVE days to give her a 5 minute phonecall?

listen man, girls are not stupid. if you wait too long, they presume you're either playing games and trying to look busy, or that she is just another piece of ass out of many that you havent gotten around to calling. unless she is very attracted to you, this will turn her off. either way, they lose interest in you because of that.

if a girl has a high interest in you, she wont care if you call the next day, or the day after that. if a girl isn't interested in you, she wont see you any differently if you wait 5-7 days, because she just wont care.



Because of these two points I just mentioned, I rarely meet flaky girls. You will probably ignore what I just wrote you, because it goes against everything the bible has taught you. If I was you tho, I'd listen. That thing is very very outdated, and is full of information that will end up sabotaging your hook-ups.

 

[Desdinova]

Who the hell cares? It's just one chick. When this happens, just think about all the previous success you've had and then toss her number.

Also, if she gave you her number because she wants attention or she's THINKING about ditching her bf, who the hell wants a woman like that? Women who need their egos stroked are high maintenance. Women who have BFs and give out their number to some horny guy aren't to be trusted.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by Page
Why the fvck did she give me her number if she already had a BF? is she just d!cking with me and wasting my time?

Possibly...

A. She thought you wanted to be friends.
B. You put her on the spot and she felt compelled to give you her number.
C. She had second thoughts and used the BF excuse to flake out.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with your approach to getting a number at all, but if you get a girls number in this context, you can't blame her for misunderstanding your intentions. Some girls are naive.

I doubt making your intentions clear would have got you closer to a date. She is either interested in pursuing something or she is not and being more forward may just have got you blown off sooner.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
listen man, girls are not stupid. if you wait too long, they presume you're either playing games and trying to look busy, or that she is just another piece of ass out of many that you havent gotten around to calling. unless she is very attracted to you, this will turn her off. either way, they lose interest in you because of that.

So damn true!

 

[omizzi]

cooooooooooooooooooool

 

[DeathDealer]

....(5 days is enough wait time, IMO) .

5 days is enough wait time...FOR HER..to next you.

"Listen, I was setting up my weekend schedule and I was planning on doing something fun on friday night and I want you to join me."

What plan? Just say the actual location.

At this, she says that she already has a BF.

She saw this date proposal a mile away and she knocked you off fast.

Why the fvck did she give me her number if she already had a BF? is she just d!cking with me and wasting my time?

Because you asked for her number.

My close technique is something like this:

" [meaningless convo here] .... I had a fun time talking with you. Perhaps we could continue this conversation later. Give me your number and we can pick this up some other time."

Oh wow, technique.. that is SO SUAVE. I'm so boring, I just tell the b1tch that she seems cool and ask for her number so we can hang out in the future.

I have used this on different chicks for several years now, and always with good results. I believe that this approach removes all doubt as to my intentions, but in a subtle way.

And for several years since girls started growing breasts, they noticed boys would want to get in contact with them because the boys were interested in them.

Should I have implied something different in my approach? what made her give me her number if she had a BF already? Should i change anything? Make my intentions more clear? Anything?

No, she wasn't that into you.

 

[MagnuM]

Originally posted by thecraftylefty
Centaurion's advice is pretty solid.

I just want to add that even though she has a BF and brought her up doesn't mean she is ecstatic about her relationship with him. Just a thought. You know how those damsels are.

Plus, as a general rule of thumb I give a girl two strikes. If she can't make it once I give her another try later on. When I try again and she still won't budge or doesn't give a counter offer, then I cut it loose forget about it.


thecraftylefty

That's good advice right there.

 

[MrHarris]

Your error came in not qualifying her properly. If you had of been a bit more direct in your intentions and then qualified her you would of saved yourself the trouble.

Your closer was too general. You said you would like to continue the talk, not ask her out.

Plus your both students together so of course she might of wrongly assumed that you were only interested in continuing the conversation.

I also do not agree with waiting so long to contact her. I think that whole 3 days 5 days is a bunch of hog wash. I personally do not hesitate to show my intentions (the new buzz word) to women.

They know what I want and if they are down they will respond accordingly.

 

[skeeloo]

lol- well i think waiting 5 days was too long, i made a mistake last week by calling this girl after 7 days, and my massage was never returned lol, i knew she was interested from the get go because she offered me her home number without me asking. waiting too long makes her think alrite this guy must be a player or something and i forgot her name when i left the message -lol

 

[anti-trend]

Some girls just love attention. They can't get enough, I've had that happen a couple of times. Like others have mentioned her relationship may be rocky so that means, that you may be able to move right in.
It takes a lot of work to move in like that because she may be with the dude for a long time and you know how girls measure relationships up to time.
Move on and forget about it, hot girls are a dime a dozen.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

It seems to me from what you posted that you didn't do anything to attract her to you. Women, generally, don't like to say "no" and be confrontational. So she gave you the number because you asked and because she did not know how to say "no" right off the bat. Again, I doesn't look as though she was attracted, and what you posted about your routine conveys that you went in for the number without really having done the pre-liminary work. Always ask yourself "what's in it for her?" "what will she get out of giving me that number and going out with me?"

You know what's in it for you right? Hot girl, fun girl, whatever it is, if you're making a move it's because you've realized you'll gain something by making that move.

To properly attract her, you need to display value (i.e. she needs to see what's in it for her) and then from there, you won't even need to ask her for her number, she'll want to venue change or give it to you. The number should be an afterthought, not the goal. Seems to me as though you're placing too much importance on what that number means. In this case, it seems like it meant "I don't know how to say no, so I'll give the number and worry about the no part if you call".

Work on attraction first and you won't encounter this problem.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[Fatality]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter

2.) waiting 5 days to call...

i'll take your word for it that you are busy, but the girl wont. you know why? because when you called her, you probably kept the phonecall short, 5-10 mins, just like the bible says right? how is this girl gonna be convinced that you couldn't find time in FIVE days to give her a 5 minute phonecall?

listen man, girls are not stupid. if you wait too long, they presume you're either playing games and trying to look busy, or that she is just another piece of ass out of many that you havent gotten around to calling. unless she is very attracted to you, this will turn her off. either way, they lose interest in you because of that.

if a girl has a high interest in you, she wont care if you call the next day, or the day after that. if a girl isn't interested in you, she wont see you any differently if you wait 5-7 days, because she just wont care.

Exactly. I've been hearing that bull**** about waiting a few days to call for years. Like that would somehow make a difference or increase her attraction.