Strange behavior, or am I just too green?

[yuppaz]

What's up guys,

I'm RAFC and trying to learn how to attract the womens. I was walking around the beach in Waikiki trying to sarge (a little) without good results, and not as many IOI's (like hair twirling, smiling and sh*t as I would have expected). I think I'm a good looking guy and I was dressed casual, but with a little flare, like a nice silver Georgio Armani watch and silver chain. At first I was just cruising for some eye contact (got some at the mall yesterday, and some happy smiley girlies, but none today and today I was dressed and looked better then yesterday). I tried flirting with a few girls, but when at first they seemed interested, after a minute or two it was lost and they were bored of me. Today I was trying to be more low key, not too much energy. But paying attention to the women and I just didn't sense much attraction at all.

I think I wasn't very fun. The other day I took my son to a big high end furniture store and was just running around playing with him and all the girlies were checking us out and talking to me. I could tell they wanted to play too so I had fun, and it seemed like they got into it. I am almost 30 now, is that the real deal? Do I really need to play like a kid to attract women?

Any thoughts?


p.s. for being new at this, I am finding that I don't have much approach anxiety which is good, but the follow up is crazy bad for some reason. ANy help would be great!!!

 

[yuppaz]

bump - today was a little better waitresses flirting, random nice smiles etc. I was dressed about the same as yesterday but wasn't in my head so much. I didn't really approach anyone, but again my conversational skills past the opener kind of suck. What do you guys do to go beyond the open?

 

[loving]

A little tool to stall is "You know what?"

The funny thing about that is it reminds your brain of your intent so the next thing you say should flow from your inner goals - ****in her. Basically anything is okay to say after You know what? but be sociable "You know what?" "You make me hot" only works if you've got inner game handled to a tee

 

[PrettyBoyA]

i recommend reading the game first if you're a RAFC. you need to know the basics first

 

[DJDamage]

Do I really need to play like a kid to attract women?

More like "think like a kid".

See when a kid plays tag or hide and seek, he isn't thinking about other sh1t that is going on in his daily life but he's rather enjoying the game and the moment. By going out with the intentions to "just pick up" you are not really enjoying the moment and this might be hurting your game. It is the reason why when you aren't even thinking or looking for women is when they all of the sudden appear out of the blue with good IOI's.

Next time instead of going to the beach just to sarge, go with the intentions to have fun. Go to the beach for a swim or bring a friend and play some beach vollyball or something. This way your mind is not focused solely on women and you will probably enjoy yourself more out there and probably be more at ease as well.

 

[yuppaz]

You guys are good with the advice, I really appreciate it. I'll try the you know what? thing and try to avoid looking specifically to sarge, rather just cruise it and enjoy what I'm doing. Should I really read the game?

Another question I have is this.... I think I am approaching VERY strong, as in intent written all over my face and confident body language, tone of voice etc.... I guess it is obvious that I have intent to **** the girls, should I not do that, or tone it down? I come in strong, but don't show my intent through words at all, just body language and stuff. What are your opinions on toning down the initial attraction and just shooting the sh*t, trying to get the number vs. coming on strong and staying that way? Kind of like the look says I wanna f*ck you and the words must stay congruent with that?

 

[PrettyBoyA]

^yep its a good idea to read it. even if you don't aspire to be a PUA, which you may or may not after reading it, it's a good introduction to what the community is all about

after that i'd suggest reading the DJ bible (located at the top of this site) and buy some anthony robbins audio cds or something

 

[sodbuster]

Well, If you've done anything by mystery, His answer is Preselection-if you walk in with 2 women,others will be more interested in you[too lazy to check you out on their own] and responsibility-taking care of your loved ones. Obviously someother woman thought you were good enough to have a kid with and you are taking care of him,so thats it in the short version

 

[yuppaz]

Hey Sod, that makes a lot of sense, so me being with my kid kind of proves that I am good man material to them (or it proves ((to them)) that I can be some sucker they can try to milk forever...na gunna happen) and gives me some social proof.

I'm really thankful for your guys advice. I think I will read that book, and the seduction book by Green (read some of it today and thought it would be pretty good to own...I'm a cheap as* that reads the books in Borders for a while before deciding to buy, sometimes I read the whole book, then put it back..lol

 

[sodbuster]

YES, a little kid is better than a puppy[either one gives an interessted girl a reason to talk to you, but the kid shows more responsibility]

 

[kdnash82]

Ever hear the saying, "When you're not looking for love, then love finds you"?

I live by this statement. Not that I'm looking for love or anything, but in the sense of just meeting women.

When I go out with the intention of just having fun and enjoying MYSELF or the company that WITH ME, that's when I meet women. Since I've realized that, I go out with that mentality no matter where I'm at.

This attitude plays into my "game". If I'm enjoying myself, then I'm in a happy mood. When I'm in a happy mood, my smile is more genuine, when I smile without even realizing it, I convey that sense to women without even thinking about it. In turn, they smile back.

My conversations are not forced because I'm not really talking about anything. The most random things come out of my mouth, but they are in no way vulgar or threatning or even in a manner that I may want to talk to you outside of this conversation that we're having at this very moment.

My attitude is in the moment and not on the future. I'm enjoying that exact moment. After all of this, if I decide that I want to get your number then I will ask for it. Never expect a woman to give you hers without you asking. It happens, but it's rare. So if it is something you want, then ask.

"Hey it was nice talking with you, but I gotta run. Let me get your number and we'll pick it back up over drinks soon."

Don't feel that you need to get it though and do not give her yours.

It's always ok to end the conversation on a high note and simply say "Hey I gotta run. It was nice talking with you. Maybe we'll run into eachother again soon and pick this back up."

I don't know about you, but when I do this, I get a boost. I had a good conversation with a pretty girl. I wasn't rejected. I left her wondering WTF. If I go out to a club, I may do this at least 5 times before I even go after my first number close. My ****y and funny seems to just pour out of me by the 5th time.

Anyway, enough with my rant. Just a few ideas. Stop feeling so pressured.