Str8up's Walk

[Magma]

Brethren,

I have not posted in many months, as I have not really been on the site much. I've been involoved in a very fulfilling relationship for the last six months. Up until now, anyway...

Two years ago I decided to clean up my life and stop drinking and doing drugs. Best decision I ever made for myself. Met an awesome girl with a similar past and we clicked right away because of our similar history with drugs and our desire to put our lives on the right track.

Everything was great for the first few months. Slowly over the past couple of months she had been partying more and bringing me into the fold. Things came to a head last weekend when I found myself at a house at 4 in the morning with everyone around me smoking coke (foilies). I was supposed to play racquetball with my gf Ann's bro (whom I respect greatly) in the morning, but flaked on him because of being out late partying. I felt like shyte and decided to come clean to him why I flaked.

To make a long story slightly less long, Ann freaks out that I told him this (because she has been lying to him about her use) and FREAKED out. I have worked very hard and have achieved a master's degree in a field where discretion about my personal life is paramount. I tried to explain this to her and she still didn't want any of it. The sad part is that I was beginning to *gasp* fall in love with her.

Brethren, I now have the opportunity to take Str8up's advice and simply walk away. No more texts, no more calls, nothing. It's her loss. I have an advanced degree and work in a personally fulfilling career. I manage my shyte. I chop bikes, sculpt with concrete, and have a slew of other activities that occupy my time and creative energies. Time to walk. I guess this is more for myself than anything. But it really is as simple as it sounds. Just walk away...with your self respect and dignity intact.

 

[drmeathead]

you have balls of brass. stay strong as you have done what more men, that will admit, cannot or will not.

 

[jophil28]

You cannot have an adult relationship with someone who puts their own drug use ahead of what you need to do for YOU. This woman does not deserve you anymore. Her addiction will drag you backwards. Your sobriety is paramount.
Part company, leave it all behind, grief the loss of what might have been and open yourself up to new opportunities.

Congratulations for walking away. It is the right thing.
Brass Balls indeed !

 

[Magma]

Thanks. The way I see it----> I didn't dump her. I freed myself.



Sarge on brethren.

 

[Colossus]

I respect the man who has the fortitude to walk, no questions asked or backward glances. There are many times when that would have served me well.

 

[joekerr31]

you can't have a relationshp with a hard core drug user (or a user of hard core drugs).

and you should have your head checked for even doing so in the first place because you know that it puts you at a much higher risk of relapse.

yes walk away, if only because shes a drug user.

 

[grinder]

I think you should take STR8UP’s AND Joekerr31’s advice. Joekerr says rid yourself of toxic people.

My long personal experience is that when you have a healthy person paired up with a toxic one, the healthy one NEVER brings the toxic one up, it’s always the reverse, the toxic one brings the healthy one down.

In this equation the lowest common denominator always wins.

Don’t walk, RUN!

 

[Latinoman]

Magma: Illegal drugs or ANY illegal substance are things to be avoided at all costs. I don't care what others think, but no TRUE DJ will indulge in those things. And that goes with "hard" or "soft" ILLEGAL drugs.


Concerning the woman...good ridance. Women that use illegal substances (including marihuana) are women that I don't date or even consider for a laid. It is in fact a DEAL BREAKER as I don't compromise my values and integrity for ANY woman. I'm not that desperate.

My last advice is to DO NOT TRUST any woman (even if you "love" her) with things that can destroy you career wise. I have seen many men having their career destroyed because of an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah you should walk away from this one regardless man.

I mean you were doing what you could to overcome your drug addicted past but this chick just gradually fell back into it and was dragging you down with her.

Its better to be true to yourself as in where you are in life than simply going along with something you'd rather not be doing to maintain a connection.

 

[Colossus]

Magma: Illegal drugs or ANY illegal substance are things to be avoided at all costs. I don't care what others think, but no TRUE DJ will indulge in those things. And that goes with "hard" or "soft" ILLEGAL drugs.


Concerning the woman...good ridance. Women that use illegal substances (including marihuana) are women that I don't date or even consider for a laid. It is in fact a DEAL BREAKER as I don't compromise my values and integrity for ANY woman. I'm not that desperate.

My last advice is to DO NOT TRUST any woman (even if you "love" her) with things that can destroy you career wise. I have seen many men having their career destroyed because of an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend.

Do you avoid these substances purely becasue they are illegal, or for what they do to you?

The marijuana debate is a very divisive topic. The non-stoners berate the stoners as second-class citizens, and the stoners hate the non-smokers because of their judgmentalism.

Ultimately it comes down to personal habits and perferences. I personally wouldnt next a chick just because she blazes now and then, but if she were a daily user i would not be interested.

I subscribe to the school of thought that in terms of illegal drugs there is pot, and everything else. Pot is far from harmless, but in most cases it isnt a destructive narcotic that ruins lives. From a behavioral perspective i think it is relatively benign, but that's just me. I have had many friends who were stoners, and some who were hard drug users. I have seen first hand what other substances do to people's lives. I have know "high functioning" potheads, and complete burnouts. Most people grow out of it, some smoke occaisionally throughout life.

I think the general public would shocked if they knew the number of professionals who recreationally smoke pot. Doctors, lawyers, cops, medical professionals...most of these folks keep a tight lid on it for obvious reasons. I have met all of the above at some point.

At any rate, I'm not trying to pimp one side or the other; I just think it is an interesting topic.

 

[MacAvoy]

I think the general public would shocked if they knew the number of professionals who recreationally smoke pot. Doctors, lawyers, cops, medical professionals...most of these folks keep a tight lid on it for obvious reasons. I have met all of the above at some point.

I think the general public would be even more shocked if they knew the number of professional that did coke. Its a rich man's drug.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I didn't dump her. I freed myself.

:rockon:

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Law 10: Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else's misery— emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

 

[Magma]

Thanks to everyone for all the support and encouragement. Much appreciated.