Storytelling during pickup..... Please critique..

[Ben MacDui]

One of the things I feel I am fairly strong in this whole business is that my interests are sufficiently broad and intriguing enough in themselves to come up with good stories; the type that attempt to demonstrate some sort of higher value in terms of a go-getting, adventurous personality with interesting, active interests, however maintaining humility. However, my storytelling skills in themselves are in need of improvement, and I could use a critique of the routines I have developed from them in terms of improving this important aspect of my game.

Here is one true story routine that I have used a few times to variable effect. Please critique -

Climbing in South Wales

"..well one of the things I do in my spare time is climb hills and mountains (mostly in Scotland and Wales), usually about 6 times per year. One of the most recent ones I did was Pen-Y-Fan in South Wales, which is on a beautiful mountain ridge but quite steep, relatively high (about 2900ft) and known to be dangerous.

(in response to being asked what I did....)

Anyway, I chose a day with good, sunny weather to climb up it. I was climbing during the week, so there were very few climbers there, and in fact when I was approaching the summit, I was the only person.

After reaching about 400ft from the summit, I noticed that summit area was being quickly covered in cloud, and visibility was getting poor. It seemed as if a huge cloud had come out of nowhere and just sat on the mountain ridge. Apparently Wales is awful for this! Within about 300ft from the summit, I was on my own in total silence, being blasted with rain and walking in a total fog!

Anyway, I knew I was on a steep mountainside and was pretty **** scared at this point. At this part of the mountain, the path is shattered into thin scree, so I couldn't tell where it lead. I still couldn't see more than a metre in front of me, so I just stopped walking and stood completely still.

Within about a minute, the cloud dissipated and I realised where I was. I was on a cliff precipice! I was less than a foot away from walking off the mountain into a 500ft valley! If I had kept going a second later, I'd be dead now! I must have a guardian angel!"

I'm sure that as an interesting anecdote, this could be improved upon to make it more effective as a DHV demo, stimulant for further convo etc. Any ideas would be good.

 

[The Deacon]

Your mixed results probably came from how you told it rather than the story itself. The story itself is interesting, but if you place it wrong, it'll get a bad reaction. It's an epic story, so if you use it too soon after meeting a girl, they'll get a vibe that you're approval seeking, which I've come to regard as a lethal attraction killer.

Let me explain. If you use a big DHV story-telling routine when you meet a girl for the first time too soon after you meet her, like say "I made a million dollars off the stock market," she's going to take it as a sign that you're insecure because you're putting your strongest asset on the forefront, right in her face.

I hope you get what I mean.

 

[Ben MacDui]

Thanks for your reply.

I can understand what you are saying, but I don't think that the story itself is so uncommon and impressive that it can be regarded in the same way as mere "approval seeking". Unlike being a stock market millionaire, hillwalking and climbing (especially in the UK) is a common pastime enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of people, and I'm sure that most people will have done something like it and can relate in some way.

 

[The Deacon]

I can understand what you are saying, but I don't think that the story itself is so uncommon and impressive that it can be regarded in the same way as mere "approval seeking". Unlike being a stock market millionaire, hillwalking and climbing (especially in the UK) is a common pastime enjoyed by hundreds of thousands of people, and I'm sure that most people will have done something like it and can relate in some way.

Mmm, good point. The only way I can make a complete judgment call is if I see a video of you doing it, but that's pretty much out of the question for most people.

 

[Snow Plowman]

Don't think of it as some DHV story as to raise your value, just think of it as giving value by telling a story about your experience...

What really matters is the emotions you bring her through and that is usually done by the vivid description of the senses from your perspective...everything else is in your voice...

In my opinion keep the content short and sweet...