Stories on how you learned to do approaches?

[Santos]

Hi guys, if you don't want to answer my post then that's fine. I will find my answers elsewhere (the bible, old posts, google).

It's just I'm feeling crappy about the-girl-I-like-who-likes-me-but still-likes-her-BF.

My biggest problem is I keep getting too emotionaly attached to the woman I meet. I probablly could be GREAT friends with this girl, but I am still attracted to her, and I have no other options. If I had other options and moved on, I could be friends with her. (Have done this before). Hence my wanting to work on approaches and increase my numbers from 1 every 4 months to 3 a week.

So, tell me where you guys practiced your approaches, what you said and did,how you faired and what you've learned.

In need of some inspiration
Santos

 

[Bungo Pony]

The problem I always had was doing PUs in public places. When I'm out to do something specific, I don't look for opportunities. I usually did my PUs in places where I was just attending to have fun (ie bars, part time job, parties, etc). I find I'm much more relaxed in places like this.

I used a lot of interesting approaches in my part time job, especially with new employees, "Hey, you don't have a nametag on, YOU'RE FIRED!"

Another one I used was a funny introduction, "Hello, I'm Bungo Pony. I'll be making your entire employment period a living hell" and I'd extend my hand to shake theirs.

When I'm out and about at parties and such, I usually do something to grab attention, then I have people approaching me. What's also useful is just making comments about the surroundings, especially if there's something unusual going on. In this case, I never use "hi", I just begin conversation with my statement or question. Example: "Did you see what that guy in the purple hat did?"

Hope this gives you some ideas.

 

[Santos]

Thanks Bungo, useful tip. Any other stories fellow DJ's?

 

[HuuBinh]

i think the best advice i can give u is to work on your inner game. u said that u get too emotionally attached to a woman, even if your sucessful at your pu approach, it wouldn't last long imo.

 

[fan27]

Here are 2 I have used successfully:

A woman is studying at a coffee shop/book store: I approach her and simply say "studying hard?" in a playful tone. Take it from there. Nothing ground breaking.

Make eye contact and smile at a woman in a grocery store. If she smiles back, cross paths with her again an say "so, whats for dinner?". Go from there. Once again, nothing ground breaking, but effective.

 

[Player_Supreme]

I don't do cold call approaches. I am like a vampire, I have to be invited in. What this means is if she isn't choosing, then I ain't moving.

I start with eye contact. I will make the eye contact and hold it until she looks away. Then I will make it again and then look from her feet to her eyes again.

My attitude is I am evaluating her for her chances to be with me.

If they eye contact thing is favorable then I will approach. This is usually in the night club scene so then I will walk up and take her hand and lead her to the dance floor.

I have never been refused so I don't have an answer for what if she tries to pull away. I said I only go for the ones who are choosing and that's why. You reduce your rejection rate to almost zero.

If a stupid song is playing then I will say"what's your name..." wait for the answer and then say" ok susie...my name is....when a good song comes on I want you to come dance with me." then I will walk away. She will keep waiting until I come back and pick her up. 99% of the women will wait.

 

[Walden]

Bungo nailed it and there's a good column in the advice bit about "Pickup situations" on how to do approaches.

Originally Oneitis meant that if you only had one girl in play , you would begin to over focus on her and you'd start to think you were infatuated when really it was just that she was all the game you had.

This is why in order to get one woman you have to be pursuing three at a time (you may well get all three).

As for learning how to do approaches , There are some good bootcamp threads that chronicle learning to do them.

Ultimately to get good you just have to do a ****load of them, it's not something you just read about , like playing tennis , you can't learn without actually going onto the court.

I'm getting to the level where I'm okay at doing approaches (I wouldn't say great) , and that's come from doing about five a day for weeks. However it is an amazing feeling to be able to meet any woman you want.