"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Stories like this make me never want to step into a tatoo parlor...

OTB

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http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31400926/ns/world_news-weird_news/?GT1=43001

Belgian teen says she requested 3 stars on face — but woke up to find 56!

BRUSSELS - A Belgian teenager has told police how she emerged from a tattoo parlor with 56 stars over one side of her face, rather than the three she had asked for, prosecutors said on Tuesday.

"I said this part, the top, is ok, but not the rest," Kimberley Vlaeminck from the city of Kortrijk, 56 miles northwest of Brussels, told Belgian broadcaster VRT.

The 18-year-old said she fell asleep during the procedure, and woke up in pain when her nose was being tattooed.

A spokesman for Kortrijk prosecutors' office said police were investigating after a complaint from the teenager.

The tattoo artist said Vlaeminck had agreed to 56 stars.

"She agreed, but when her father saw it, the trouble started," Belgian newspaper Het Laatste Nieuws quoted the man as saying.

Vlaeminck said she wanted to keep the tattoos on her forehead but would have the rest removed.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Akuma

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The girl's obviously lying. No way she fell asleep while getting 56 stars tatoo'ed in her face.
 

OTB

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Akuma said:
The girl's obviously lying. No way she fell asleep while getting 56 stars tatoo'ed in her face.
You really think so?

I wouldn't be too sure bro...

Who knows what kind of debauchery they get themselves into out there in the wild land not too far from Amsterdam... ;)
 

Deep Dish

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I'm not sure if I believe her. I have some tattoos and I know how excruciatingly painful are certain areas. I don't have anything on my face but I know it must be extremely (motherfücking) painful by tattoo standards. The face and nose are very boney and I know from experience bones are unspeakably painful. There is simply no way she could have possibly fallen asleep. I can imagine if she was given local anesthesia but, if so, then you would think such an elementary fact would have been mentioned in the news article.

The girl is an idiotic moron regardless of the truth of circumstances because facial tattoos are downright dumb. Not only do facial tattoos hinder your employment opportunities but the permanent sunlight exposure rapidly degrades and ages the tattoo.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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horaholic

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Yeah, who knows who's lying. The evidence would be in the agreed upon price for the tattoo beforehand. Three stars would be around 20 or 30 bucks, but a whole face full would run at least a hundred. Also, the only way you could fall asleep is if you were on drugs.

I say its her own fault for not previewing what the stars would look like. You would have to be nuts to let an artist freehand anything. They should transfer the drawing to the area, and you look at it, to make sure it's positioned correctly and looks ok.

I dont think a tattoo artist would be that sadistic to do that on purpose. They are professionals (loosely speaking!) after all. They all have reputations, and they probably wouldnt put it on the line for a joke. They do make mistakes occasionally, but dont do shyt like that guy. My artist friend does this thing to people he doesnt like, where he discretely draws dycks in their work. Its funny as hell, because you have to look really close to see them, and the victim never believes people who try to show him. He is an AMAZING artist, but one time he was in the middle of a tattoo, and someone else in the shop was like "hey isnt that supposed to be spelled blah blah blah?" He had two letters switched around and didnt notice it. He threw his gun at the wall and headed to the bar. The guy was left sitting there, like 'what?' Im not sure how that fiasco ended, but mistakes can be made occasionally. The customer is partly to blame also, for not checking the preview and drawing beforehand.
 

Captain Harlock

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The tattoo is in the shape of a '3'. Maybe the tatto guy misunderstood her.
 

pLaYtHiNg

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Akuma said:
The girl's obviously lying. No way she fell asleep while getting 56 stars tatoo'ed in her face.
I agree... unless you're smashed, (and a good shop won't tatt someone who is), there is NO WAY you are falling asleep while having your face tatt'ed. Goodness, look at all the ones on her nose... it took her that long to "wake up"???

Why would the tattoo guy waste his time and supplies on someone who only paid for three stars??

I remember my first one... it tickled! :rock:
 
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CaptainJ

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She's definetly lying. She went in asked for 56 stars, her father saw it and went absolutely mental, threatening to ground her/cut her credit card/kill her and she got frightened, making up a bvllsh1t excuse to shift the blame. "No wait daddy, it was the tattoo guy's fault! I asked for... 3 stars! But I fell asleep because you know how soothing it is getting ink burnt into your face with a needle.". Daddy thinks, how dare that tattooist harm my little princess, I'll sue him.
 

pLaYtHiNg

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If "Daddy" had any common sense, he would put two and two together and figure it out.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Captain Harlock

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stupid ho, good thing she finally took responsibility. Don't get a tattoo on your face if you're still dependent on your parents.
 
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