"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Stop Relying On Someone Else

COD

Master Don Juan
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Allowing someone else to hook us up is the lazy person’s way of capitulating to the world “HEY I GOT NO GAME CAN YOU HELP ME”.

The matchmaking process has been around since the Caveman days. Back in the late 60’s & early 70’s there was the DATING GAME. After some campy intro music, the host would introduce the lady or guy to win over. Next, he would introduce the 3 eligible suitors, which were partitioned so neither party could see each other. The person looking for a date would ask various cheesy questions to each of the suitors and then base her selections on their answers. It was almost always the person who had the coolest, ****y answers that would win the prized date. Updated versions in the late 80’s & 90’s included; LOVE CONNECTION, BLIND DATE, ELIMIDATE. The 2000’s brought us a slew of others with their own twist on the matchmaking process (the bachelor, who wants to marry a millionaire, Can’t get a date, Confessions of a match-maker, etc. The media made fans when things did not always work out and capturing it as it happens made for great T.V. Now this is all fine and dandy if you happen to be in Hollywood and passed the casting call but not very realistic way of meeting someone.

For the rest of the planet, most people would head out to clubs/bars in hopes to meet someone but they lacked the ability to approach and feared rejection. People were getting tired of the bar scene and longed for someone to find them a match. Introduction services capitalized on people’s loneliness, treated clients like cattle and made several hundred thousand dollars. The popularity of the Internet made matchmaking process the # 1 forum for finding romance. They brought matchmaking to the entire planet and made billions without the high prices & hassle from intro services. Match.com even hired Dr. Phil as a dating coach through video clips to put a added spin on the matchmaking game. Speed Dating & TEXT flirting soon popped up as yet another matchmaking forum for people to venture a try..

The sticky point is: no matter what the forum, people keep relying on someone else to hook them up. The reason why many opt out is just plain old fear. Stepping outside of one’s comfort zone makes people uneasy. Far less stressful to let someone else do all the dirty work. The downside is it makes us more anti-social and lazy. Technology is a great tool but should never replace your ability to approach someone. Use the tools from time to time but be sure to include attempting approaches frequently. The insight and wisdom, not to mention the confidence you gain far outweighs relying on someone else. It’s ok to learn how to approach, take some advice from others but when all is said & done, it's up to you to make your own success.

GET EXCITED...........DO IT YOURSELF!!!!!1
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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blueguy

Master Don Juan
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Good post. The problem I find with pickup though is that it is just a random numbers game, and you must think positively and cycle through dozens of girls to find one you're interested in for an actual relationship. The difference between bar/club pickup and joining social groups you have an interest in is that it is far more likely you will find somebody you like in a common-ground social group than in a bar/club and less time is wasted.
 
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