"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Stop comparing yourself to others!

DiegoSantori

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You are not in competition with anyone. You are only working on yourself and that is cultivating your own personal happiness.

You should talk to women because it makes you feel good, not because you want to compete with somebody else.

If somebody was born on the same day as you, looked exactly like you, had the same social background, same education, then you could compare yourself to that person. In all other cases, you're wasting your valuable time and energy.

As far as work is concerned, base your work on your true core values and you will be happy to be you. Many of us, we are living in a survival program when we are here to thrive.



Inspired by Ralph Smart
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

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DiegoSantori said:
You are not in competition with anyone. You are only working on yourself and that is cultivating your own personal happiness.
Half of me agrees with this, and the other half thinks it is just new age feel good bullsh!t.

I like the bit about improving your own path, but I think you're deluding yourself if you think you will never compete with anyone.
 

EvilSpirit22

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This is some pure feel good bullshi t. The day you were conceived, the competition began with you being the fastest sperm and beating the crap out of all the other 50 million sperms.

If you won't compare yourself to someone you can never judge your true potential or value.

The desire of being better than the other person is what drives you to do much better than him.


You wanna feel good about yourself yeah feed your fragile ego with I gotta be better than myself and not compete with other people.


Even girls would compare a guy based on his true worth and the guy who according to her is better than the rest of the lot will be chosen by her.


Again, these are my personal views.
 

mangotot

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Why waste energy comparing yourself to someone else? Put that energy to be the best you can. As you long as you can look in the mirror as say you put maximum effort then everything else matters f@@k all.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Yewki

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mangotot said:
Why waste energy comparing yourself to someone else? Put that energy to be the best you can. As you long as you can look in the mirror as say you put maximum effort then everything else matters f@@k all.
Maximum effort is short lived without competition. The energy used to compare yourself to others is therefore not a waste, unless reality is too harsh for you to deal with and you require feel good bullsh*t to justify half-assing it.
 

zekko

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Yewki has a point there. In football, if a player's performance is falling off, they will often bring in some competition to spark some improvement in him. Works by motivation, I suppose.

The no competetion bit reminds me of those kids soccer games where no one keeps score and everybody gets a medal.
 

DiegoSantori

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Yewki said:
Maximum effort is short lived without competition. The energy used to compare yourself to others is therefore not a waste, unless reality is too harsh for you to deal with and you require feel good bullsh*t to justify half-assing it.
The more I think about it, the more I agree with this post. I retract my words. A real man admits when he is wrong. I created this thread without giving too much thought to it and now I see that this is just feel good bullsh*t, as Yewki rightly said.

Actually, I love competition, I just wanted to convey that you should find a healthy balance between being too relaxed and worrying too much about what others do.
 
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