"stop being self-centered and leave me alone"

[externalharddrive]

i have enough experience with women to know when a girl is interested in me. this girl likes me, or did at one point. we live far away from each other, and i visited her 2 weeks ago. we hung out often but i was too wussy to make a move, even though she showed blatant signs of interest. so after i left, i sent her an email stating the following in a (mind you) very eloquent manner:

1. many people have been asking us if we are dating.
2. every time i answer with the truth, my heart breaks a bit more
3. we live so far away that i don't really care about what you have to say about that, so i'm not gonna force you to say anything
4. i just hope that this letter brightens your day and brings a smile to your face*

*she's depressed due to personal, perfectly understandable reasons

now, please don't sh1t on me saying that emailing her something like that was stupid and AFC and bla bla bla because i've heard it all. i do not regret my decision. i'm not asking you guys to rip me apart on the way i told her how i feel. whats done is done.

what ended up happening:
i wasn't able to get in any contact with her for about a week due to geographic reasons (no internet or cell phone reception on my part). i checked my email a week later and nothing was there. i texted her and tried to talk to her on aim but she kept ignoring me. i flatout asked why she was ignoring me, and this was her reply in a nutshell:

1. i'm not ignoring you
2. i'm very angry with you from when you visited (no reason stated)
3. so angry, in fact, that i dont knwo what to say to you right now
4. i will not talk to you until i figure out what to say
5. meanwhile, i have finals to worry about so stop being self centered and leave me alone.

my friend who knows my situation inside and out says that she is angry because my email conflicted with what she had in mind, which was a relationship. and that she was pissed because i spent so much time with her all while knowing that i wouldn't want a relationship with her since we are so far apart.

note: i didn't tell the truth in my email. i only said that i didn't want to hear her response because i was afraid of rejection. i actually do want a relationship. but she definitely didn't take that the right way. oops.

even though it's probably hard to believe that i'm not an AFC since this is my first post and all, please reply assuming that i know what i'm doing. this girl does like me. and assuming that she does, what should i do at this point? we haven't talked in over 12 days, and i dont think that's ever happend since the start of our friendship.

i haven't initiated any contact with her after she told me to leave her alone. she does indeed have finals to worry about so i figured it would be best to leave her alone until shes done. i was about to lash out at her for being so unreasonable but my friend stopped me, telling me that if i yelled back at her it's over. i'm doing the right thing, correct? what should i do after her finals are over? should i wait until she figures out what to say? i think its unfair that i have no idea why she's angry with me, and that she's the self-centered one.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Do nothing!!! Nothing! Do not initiate contact! Let her tell you in her own words - assume nothing!

Some of her remarks seem sassy -- she seems like a drama queen -- good luck with this one!!

 

[externalharddrive]

that's what i thought. i'm gonna keep doing what i'm doing. i almost texted her today but stopped myself. im going to let her contact me first.

one problem: she has one of my possessions and i want it back. she'll be in town within a few days after her finals.

 

[musclyjerk]

You're going to text her soon using your possession as a pretext, aren't you.

Don't, for all that's holy.

The Muscly Jerk

 

[externalharddrive]

hahahahahaha. you see right through me.

i won't.

but it bothers me that she has yet to contact me. 12 days.

i still won't. but i'm beginning to lose track of why not. why not?

 

[musclyjerk]

Don't let it eat at you. Try not to care and just wait.

4. i will not talk to you until i figure out what to say

You heard what she said, right?

The Muscly Jerk

 

[externalharddrive]

Don't let it eat at you. Try not to care and just wait. You heard what she said, right?

im sure you're aware that's harder than you think. i have to take sleeping pills cause i can't sleep at night.

 

[flexion_]

...so stop being self centered and leave me alone.

...my friend who knows my situation inside and out says that she is angry because...

...i didn't tell the truth in my email...

...i'm not an AFC since this is my first post and all, please reply assuming that i know what i'm doing.

...this girl does like me. and assuming that she does, what should i do at this point? we haven't talked in over 12 days, and i dont think that's ever happend since the start of our friendship.

You people really need some tough love sometimes. Stop being a pissy drama man when you come here for advice. Don't tell us how to reply to you - if you want advice you take the good and the bad so suck it up.

She has said leave her alone. Women only say that when you are at the creepy stalker guy level. Why in world does your friend know the situation? Why are you lying to her?

Someone that knows what they are doing would never make a post like this - so there is actually no reply possible that fits what you are asking.

As to your question, assuming she likes you - DO NOTHING. Let her make contact with you. You have done quite enough already. This is a long distance friend that apparently you have never even kissed. This looks more like a penpal relationship than more anything else - so treat it as such.

I'd suggest you read the DJ bible. You make you happy not women.

Good luck.

 

[externalharddrive]

Why in world does your friend know the situation?

I'm sorry, are men not allowed to tell his best friend what's troubling him? I wasn't aware that to be a "DJ" you have to deal with everything on your own and make your own decisions without seeking advice.

Don't tell us how to reply to you - if you want advice you take the good and the bad so suck it up.

I never told you how to reply to me. I asked politely. If you don't have anything to offer me, you don't have to. I did this because I didn't want to waste your time by having you tell me stuff I already know. I've read the DJ bible inside and out.

This looks more like a penpal relationship than more anything else

Like I said, I clearly haven't spelled out our history together in detail, so please don't assume things and just give me advice that I asked for, politely. Don't make me the bad guy. I appreciated all the replies until you came along.

 

[00Kevin]

How you can even consider a relationship with this girl at this point is something I don't understand. 12 days have passed and she has failed to be understanding or provide an explaination. That kind of action alone would piss me off and I would just ****en end it. A good woman is understanding and forgiving. Those two qualities are lacking in this woman. She is very imature for puting you through this guilt trip. You don't need that that. Next her.

we haven't talked in over 12 days, and i dont think that's ever happend since the start of our friendship

I see.... so you are "just friends. "

 

[externalharddrive]

How you can even consider a relationship with this girl at this point is something I don't understand. 12 days have passed and she has failed to be understanding or provide an explaination. That kind of action alone would piss me off and I would just ****en end it. A good woman is understanding and forgiving. Those two qualities are lacking in this woman. She is very imature for puting you through this guilt trip. You don't need that that. Next her.

You know what? You're absolutely right. It does piss me off. I was just more confused than pissed off, though. But now that you point it out, unless she says something really moving in her explanation when she actually does talk to me, I'm going to tell her the following (but not before she talks to me):

1. It's too late now. I will not tolerate that kind of disrespect.
2. You're angry? I'M angry.
3. You are the self centered one for leaving me hanging that long and putting me through the guilt trip.
4. I'm coming to pick up my stuff right now.

I see.... so you are "just friends. "

Yes. She thinks that as far as I'm concerned, I only view her as a friend.

 

[rrrrr]

Yes. She thinks that as far as I'm concerned, I only view her as a friend.

Not according to what you wrote in the first post. You basically told her you want more bad. I'm gonna have to agree with flexion on this one, there's a lot wrong here. First off, this is causing you to loose sleep. That shouldn't be happening. You said you read the bible, yet you say you did these things, and you don't regret it? If I did these things, I'd damn well regret it. There's a difference between knowing the bible, and applying it well in reality.

You should not contact her. What I would be worried about now, is her even wanting to be friends with you at all, if she's shutting you out like this, now that you gave her this email revealing all these feelings. You can give her a month and say, I'd like my stuff back, because at that point, it would be obvious it's over.

 

[externalharddrive]

What I would be worried about now, is her even wanting to be friends with you at all, if she's shutting you out like this, now that you gave her this email revealing all these feelings.

ok. so my mindset is geared toward that now.

i just want to know why my email would make her "very angry." if she didnt like me back, why doesn't she just cut me out of her life all together? why would she tell me that she is angry?

we were very good friends. id liek to think that losing me from her life would have some sort of emotional toll, regardless of whether she had mutual feelings for me - enough to give me at least an explanation before she cuts me out. she hasn't done this. instead, she told me she was angry. WTF.

Also a very important note that i failed to mention: she was acting pretty hostile toward me before i sent her that email. i texted her that i safely landed and all she said was "good." i told her the airline lost my bags and she didn't even text me back. this was before i wrote the email. i knew something was up, but WHAT???? it seems that she was angry with me before i even sent the email.