"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Stop Being Desperate!

aura

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Get some fvcking standards. Here is what I have read on this forum:

1. if you want to meet women, go to gay bars. WTF?

2. stop going after hot 35 year old cougars, go after 60 year olds. WTF?

3. A girl's husband threatened me. Should I go after her? WTF?

In all fairness, I see this type of attitude with guys I know, as well.

I am seeing 25-30 year old guys go after 40+ women.

I am seeing guys begging fat women walking into a bar to marry them.

I am seeing guys buy rounds of shots for girls they just met who will walk away in 10 sec. immediately after they finish their drinks.

It's a fvcking disgrace. This sh1t has to fvcking stop.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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btownbuck2012

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aura said:
Get some fvcking standards. Here is what I have read on this forum:

1. if you want to meet women, go to gay bars. WTF?

2. stop going after hot 35 year old cougars, go after 60 year olds. WTF?

3. A girl's husband threatened me. Should I go after her? WTF?

In all fairness, I see this type of attitude with guys I know, as well.

I am seeing 25-30 year old guys go after 40+ women.

I am seeing guys begging fat women walking into a bar to marry them.

I am seeing guys buy rounds of shots for girls they just met who will walk away in 10 sec. immediately after they finish their drinks.

It's a fvcking disgrace. This sh1t has to fvcking stop.
Well you don't HAVE to read anything, but yes this is a good post. My roommate is a good example of this. He's the nicest dude you'd ever wanna meet in your life. He'd give you the shirt off his back if it was his last one, etc, etc

BUT

He will literally stop w/e he is doing at the drop of a hat if there is even a remote chance to hang out or be around the opposite sex. I mean I give him props because he's always trying to get laid but after a while it gets a little ridiculous.

A couple weeks ago we were set to watch Monday night football at our place. We'd been looking forward to it for a about a week since our schedules always seem to conflict and we'd figured we'd have some time to chill.

But out of the blue these girls who live down the hall from us decide they're going out to party that night and sure enough he's down to clown 110%. There’s nothing wrong with looking for opportunities to hang out with or meet new woman but there's a fine line between that and just obviously, ridiculously being desperate.

And it's like this 24/7. About 2 weeks ago he was set to grill out at our place. He even told me he'd sent a mass text to all his friends BUT at the last second the people across the hall decided they'd grill out too and BAM he's over there no questions asked.

Sorry I'm rambling now BUT yes I agree with your post. Being overly desperate is such a turn off it's not even funny. I guess my point is that if you're at a point in your life where you will blow off your own life and everything that's going on in it to go "hang" with some girls, that's some desperate sh! t
 

ArcBound

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;iu
 

ArcBound

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aura on 10/5/2011 said:
Get some fvcking standards. Here is what I have read on this forum:

1. if you want to meet women, go to gay bars. WTF?

2. stop going after hot 35 year old cougars, go after 60 year olds. WTF?

3. A girl's husband threatened me. Should I go after her? WTF?

In all fairness, I see this type of attitude with guys I know, as well.

I am seeing 25-30 year old guys go after 40+ women.

I am seeing guys begging fat women walking into a bar to marry them.

I am seeing guys buy rounds of shots for girls they just met who will walk away in 10 sec. immediately after they finish their drinks.

It's a fvcking disgrace. This sh1t has to fvcking stop.
Hmmmm

aura on 10/5/2011 in a thread where he chases a cougar said:
So there it is. Now, I'm left to wonder why I'm so hurt and confused by this when I didn't even game the girl! I'm only hurt and confused that she gamed me aggressively and I didn't pull when I had the chance.

She therefore left with a lame, aggressive dude, and I'm still jealous! WTF!!!!!

The moral of the story is: I hate to lose (even when I barely play the game), more than I love to win. At least in this scenario.

edit: I'm still reeling over how upset I am, considering how little effort I put into this.
I see
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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aura

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While I'm still on a rampage, I'll note that it's not just the fat Doom! video game junkies who exhibit this desperation, it's also good looking guys who have good social skills who are falling into this trap. I seem them eagerly chasing mid level cougars. This sh1t's getting very, very strange.
 

aura

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Here are other things that are happening:

7. men in the US giving up on US women altogether: they are going on overseas sex tours or just becoming expats altogether

8. a lot of women are giving up on relationships and families altogether. They are content with "girlfriend" groups and are sticking to their romance novels, soap operas and vibrators and dildos.
 

Serg897

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Nothing wrong with gay bars. Girls you meet there will have their ***** shields down and its easier to reach them. Otherwise I agree with the post.
 

Voice

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Here's how you stop being desperate.

"That girl looks cute so I'm going to talk to her to find out if she's cool enough for me"

If this is what goes on in your head then you have the dj mindset and desperation is not an issue.
 

floydb25

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A lot of it has to do with mindset. Desperate people fall under the belief that this one HAS to work, because they'll never get another chance like this EVER again. They failed too many times already. If this one doesn't work - none of them will. This is their LAST chance.

A lot of desperate people also dwell on, and replay their previous rejections and failures. When it happens again, they become horribly insecure, and start thinking all these things. That, no one can love them, this is the only person for them, they NEED them, etc. That's when they start seeking approval, becoming doormats, pushing way too hard, tolerating inexcusable behaviors, getting involved in bad relationships, etc. It's all done out of insecurity, and fear of being alone.

They'd rather be in a bad relationship or become an option than be alone. ANYTHING but being alone. They are also generally unhappy with their own lives, and NEED others to complete them. Ironically, that's what causes people to LOSE interest in them - when they try too hard, become clingy, etc. It's also a great way to become used, controlled, and manipulated. What do you care? At least you're not alone!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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ken chang

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Amen to that, OP. Unfortunately, there are so many wussies(pvssy worshipers) out there these days so I don't see this trend stopping anytime soon.
 
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