"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Stoicism vs enthusiasm

asianbboy

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I wonder if it's better to approach girls with an air of stoicism or to excitement. To be positive, enthusiastic, energetic is more feminine than being reserved, but usually the girl responds to your enthusiasm with enthusiasm and you get a nice rapport going...
Conquer Your Campus focuses on giving love. Which means being really excited when you see a girl, throwing her a hug, saying "what's up sexy", etc. Seems like could come off too feminine
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Moroder

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It's not about masculine/feminine, it's about fitting your personality or not. Women will instantly smell if you behave in your natural way or just try to act. This holds true for both extremes. A somber, introverted guy who tries to be funny may be as pathetic as a funny guy playing it super-cool and stoically. Worry less about books and concepts, be more at ease with yourself! :)
 

SeymourCake

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Just be natural and be whatever you feel.

Stoicism is a philosophy term and most women I know aren't interested in philosophy. If I had to choose between the two, I would say enthusiasm will get your foot in the door. Most women's lives are incredibly boring so I would suggest initially approaching them with enthusiasm and let them know you're a fun guy. Like Pook said, women are like children so bring the fun out of them.

My personal trick is to initially give them excitement, and then withdraw attention from there. At first I act really interested, and then I go cold. This drives them crazy and makes them want you even more.
 

christoff522

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My life is pretty boring, and I'm naturally the stoic, but you can still have fun as a stoic person. Dry one liners, flirting, its all possible without acting like a holiday rep.

Consider a character like Alan Shore from Boston Legal, vs Hank Moody from Californication, both are stoic characters, and both seem to represent masculinity in a way that an enthusiastic character like Joey Essex from TOWIE could not. Stoicism presents power, wisdom, and status, whilst i guess enthusiasm presents youth and virility?

The way to a woman's heart is to represent their ideal of what a man is, not the conscious version, but the subconscious version. Simply be the best you, talk, and see what happens, you'll get some and not others.
 

dasein

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I don't really like the "stoic v excitement" distinction, it's a false dichotomy. Google and read up on NLP. There's no reason not to do both situationally. Develop different toolsets for different tasks, just like anything else. Resist the inclination to accept the stories you tell yourself about yourself, they are all bogus. "I am this way, I am that way," do away with that kind of thinking describing personality and habits, save it only for matters of pure subjective taste (music, hobbies, actual learned skills). Don't try to unscrew Phillips heads with a flat head screwdriver, just have BOTH on your belt. Far more important than your preordained style is THEIR attitude and your ability to gauge it, then tailor your tactic accordingly.

Then to logistics, let's say you are working a booth at a charity event, and you will be next to the girl all day. Slow play that, tactical advance and withdrawal all day, cat string. Let her see you mastering the environment, being accepted with people, throw her a playful crumb here and there. You "win" this when she gives her phone number out of the blue without your asking, or especially outright leaves the event with you at the end.

OTOH, in a crowded, loud bar where you don't know who is coming and going, who is with whom? You need to hustle that environment. The more control and certainty you have, the fewer distractions, the more cat and mouse you can play. The more uncertainty and distractions, the more assertively you need to engage. You "win" this when you are able to remove her into an environment where you have more control.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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AttackFormation

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This is a false dichotomy. It doesn't matter whether you're stoic or enthusiastic, what matters is that you're alpha.
 
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