"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Stoicism vs enthusiasm

asianbboy

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I wonder if it's better to approach girls with an air of stoicism or to excitement. To be positive, enthusiastic, energetic is more feminine than being reserved, but usually the girl responds to your enthusiasm with enthusiasm and you get a nice rapport going...
Conquer Your Campus focuses on giving love. Which means being really excited when you see a girl, throwing her a hug, saying "what's up sexy", etc. Seems like could come off too feminine
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Moroder

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It's not about masculine/feminine, it's about fitting your personality or not. Women will instantly smell if you behave in your natural way or just try to act. This holds true for both extremes. A somber, introverted guy who tries to be funny may be as pathetic as a funny guy playing it super-cool and stoically. Worry less about books and concepts, be more at ease with yourself! :)
 

SeymourCake

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Just be natural and be whatever you feel.

Stoicism is a philosophy term and most women I know aren't interested in philosophy. If I had to choose between the two, I would say enthusiasm will get your foot in the door. Most women's lives are incredibly boring so I would suggest initially approaching them with enthusiasm and let them know you're a fun guy. Like Pook said, women are like children so bring the fun out of them.

My personal trick is to initially give them excitement, and then withdraw attention from there. At first I act really interested, and then I go cold. This drives them crazy and makes them want you even more.
 

christoff522

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My life is pretty boring, and I'm naturally the stoic, but you can still have fun as a stoic person. Dry one liners, flirting, its all possible without acting like a holiday rep.

Consider a character like Alan Shore from Boston Legal, vs Hank Moody from Californication, both are stoic characters, and both seem to represent masculinity in a way that an enthusiastic character like Joey Essex from TOWIE could not. Stoicism presents power, wisdom, and status, whilst i guess enthusiasm presents youth and virility?

The way to a woman's heart is to represent their ideal of what a man is, not the conscious version, but the subconscious version. Simply be the best you, talk, and see what happens, you'll get some and not others.
 

dasein

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I don't really like the "stoic v excitement" distinction, it's a false dichotomy. Google and read up on NLP. There's no reason not to do both situationally. Develop different toolsets for different tasks, just like anything else. Resist the inclination to accept the stories you tell yourself about yourself, they are all bogus. "I am this way, I am that way," do away with that kind of thinking describing personality and habits, save it only for matters of pure subjective taste (music, hobbies, actual learned skills). Don't try to unscrew Phillips heads with a flat head screwdriver, just have BOTH on your belt. Far more important than your preordained style is THEIR attitude and your ability to gauge it, then tailor your tactic accordingly.

Then to logistics, let's say you are working a booth at a charity event, and you will be next to the girl all day. Slow play that, tactical advance and withdrawal all day, cat string. Let her see you mastering the environment, being accepted with people, throw her a playful crumb here and there. You "win" this when she gives her phone number out of the blue without your asking, or especially outright leaves the event with you at the end.

OTOH, in a crowded, loud bar where you don't know who is coming and going, who is with whom? You need to hustle that environment. The more control and certainty you have, the fewer distractions, the more cat and mouse you can play. The more uncertainty and distractions, the more assertively you need to engage. You "win" this when you are able to remove her into an environment where you have more control.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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AttackFormation

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This is a false dichotomy. It doesn't matter whether you're stoic or enthusiastic, what matters is that you're alpha.
 
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