Still Shaky with Cold Approaches

[WORKEROUTER]

In general, I have really improved my game in terms of getting girls' numbers via various cold approaches. Just the other night I got a girl's number who I saw in Starbucks. A few nights ago I made small talk with a girl at a bus stop and got her number. Not to mention the various meetings at parties.

However, I am still shaky with certain forms of cold approaches. I realize that I do best with cold approaches by ASKING A QUESTION or having some kind of information "opener." However, this is really my only means of doing a cold approach.

I want to not be limited, however. For instance, I might see a girl I would like to approach sitting at a table outside by herself studying but fail to succeed with the cold approach. Without a question or some kind of good "opener," I feel odd simply going up and introducing myself simply because I feel like I have nothing to "build" the meeting up with. In fact, I feel that she would also see this action as quite odd.

Of course, I know there are guys that can SUCCESSFULLY do this, but I believe they are few and far between. I want to be able to SUCCESSFULLY achieve such cold approaches.

However, if I can get over this and fix this problem that's limiting me, there's really NO circumstances in which I wouldn't be able to do a cold approach.

Any help with this? Comments? Suggestions?

 

[mrblack]

Today I was studying in the library and was like **** this man. it is beautiful outside, I'm gonna go to the court yard and purposely sit aside some cute girl.

So I see this petite spanish girl sunglasses on and just get energized approach her with just a casual "Is it okay if I can study here" Guys on this board puuuut waaay to much emphasis on an opener, forgetting that sometimes just genuinely asking her for something no matter how AFC it may seem will work.

Of course I knew she wasn't going to say anything after saying "yes go head." So I smile and give a simple "Hi!" "how are you?" don't fool yourself into always having to open like your Mystery or something. She then introduced herself to me and asked my name etc., and we continued chatting, before I decided to depart and get the digits. I threw in some light flurting here and there, but no where as much as david d would emphasize. If your beginning take it slow.

It's your reality. Let it flow. Try to have genuine interest in her. Read the conversation section of the Bible. If you start dreading the convo is gonna die, try to quickly wrap it up and depart and get her info.

 

[SlowBurn]

Okay this is one stragegy to get over your mental roadblock.

Try direct game, and nothing but for your next 100 approaches.

Yeah I know it's inelegant and a little brute force but it will get your mindset shifted. Also, you are using questions, dont. Make statements. Questions supplicate, statements come from authority.

I also see a few belief issues. You state you feel odd approaching without the precious question, and she would see this action as odd. You sir are correct. If you go in with THAT attitude a woman will sense the "odd" vibe and react exactly as you fear. Here's something to shake up your reality, I personally find direct approaches without questions easier. And since I presuppose the girl will react well, she does.

You also state that you BELIEVE there are only a few guys who can pull off direct game.

Baloney.

There are plenty of PUAs that excel in direct game. But with the limiting belief that only a few can do so, you will unnecessarily cause yourself grief by thinking it is an advanced technique that you are not ready for yet.

Try my fix. I realize I'm not giving you technique yet. It is important to experience and get over the emotional hurdle of seeing that being direct will not cause a woman to Mace you. For this portion of the excercise not having a very refined approach will actually help. You can see that your first awkward attempts will not cause spontaneous combustion. Afterwards you can refine and perfect that part of your approach toolkit.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Slowburn, 100 DIRECT approaches it is for me. I'll keep you informed as to how it is going to go. I know the first few times is going to seem very awkward, but I WILL get over it.

 

[Sargeholic]

Scientifically, what you actually say to someone for an opener is only about 10% of their first impression of you. The rest is appearance, body language, tonality, and context.

Really, short of an insult, nothing you open with is necessarily wrong. This is doubly true in low stimulus day game settings. Being clever is more important in bars/clubs. That is why I am gravitating to direct game, since I am more congruent with it and it helps my BL and delivery greatly.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by Sargeholic
Scientifically, what you actually say to someone for an opener is only about 10% of their first impression of you. The rest is appearance, body language, tonality, and context.

Actually, 10% would be an exaggeration, depending on the sources 3-5%... basically the words that you use have no impact on the results.

Funny that people are always asking for the good 'pickup lines'...

 

[WillieandThePoorBoys]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
Actually, 10% would be an exaggeration, depending on the sources 3-5%... basically the words that you use have no impact on the results.

Funny that people are always asking for the good 'pickup lines'...

I have to say I've found that as well. You can say the stupidest things but if you say them with conviction and conficence, and a little bit of arrogance - to the point that you don't really care if you sounded like an idiot that goes much further than possibly saying something really came out right, but, was said with all the confidence of a wet noodle. At least that's my experience so far.