"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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still have trouble approaching

spang

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i see beautiful girls everyday at my university campus. i mean the ratio of girls to guys is like 3:1. the problem is they are always occupied with something like class, texting, eating lunch, books, talking to friends. whats the best way to approach without looking like im interrupting or a bother?
i have spoken to a few and im getting better. i feel more comfortable talking to a girl who is alone doing nothing i guess, if she is busy i feel like an interruption. should i just walk up to random chicks like "hey where you goin" or "what you reading?".
its like i have to become a complete and utterly shameless person who says whatever he wants.:box: its still torture for me but im trying.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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PDubb75

Master Don Juan
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It sounds like setting time constraints would be helpful in these cases. Make it clear you only have a minute or two to talk. That way, if she is busy, she won't tune you out just for the fact you interrupted her. She will know whatever you have to say will be quick, so she will probably listen, instead of thinking "how can i get him to leave me alone?".

Lets say you see some chick reading a book from one of your classes (especially if she's in your class). Go up to her and ask her something about the class. Ask if she understood some concept you just went over. If she says yes, maybe she can explain to to you and that will spark a convo. Maybe you can get a "study date" out of it.

If I see a group of girls sitting around and talking, I'll try to sit close enough that I can hear them, but keep a little distance. I'll do my own thing (read something, do something on my phone) but be listening to everything they are saying. If they start talking about something I can comment on, especially if I have something funny to say, I speak confidently and clearly and say "I couldn't help but hear you talking about _____, and blah blah blah blah". Then once they engage me in the convo, I go over there and either continue talking about it, or introduce myself, depending where the convo went at that point.

Best thing you can do is start slow. Go up to girls, any girls, and just try talking to them WITHOUT going for a date or a number. Just get comfortable with approaching and talking first. You don't have to be interested in them at all. In fact, go up to guys as well. Not only does this help get you familiar with approaching for the future, but it also gets you in the mindset at that particular moment. I always try to approach as many people as I can before going out for numbers/dates. It keeps you in your toes instead of cautiously waiting back.
 

spang

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i went to a bunch of places last night. starbucks, walmart, target, booksamillion, etc. i didnt want to leave town without a number.
when i was in starbucks there were two women there together. they looked like sisters, but one i found really attractive. i observed their conversation, they looked like they were catching up. i noticed the attractive one glancing at me from around her friend. im guessing that was my signal to approach. either that or i was creeping her out. maybe i should have? there were so many people it was so uncomfortable.
later i went to a bar and their were a few girls just they were all with groups or had a guy with them. i spotted two at the bar together, was about to approach, then they got up and left.
i did speak to one girl at the bar for a minute. i feel like i can approach one girl now, but this groups stuff is an obstacle for me.
 
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