I do ok with women now when I have a chance to be around them, but I still don't get any IOIs when I go to the bars or clubs. I bulked up quite a bit, and I get GUYS telling my how I look big, but no girls. No eye contact or smiles or anything. I used to live in New York and would get IOIs when I was still small and not confident. Now I live in Texas and get nothing. Are the girls in the South more conservative about this stuff or something?
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Still don't get any IOIs
- Thread starter SamMalone
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
MrNotebook
Don Juan
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- Mar 31, 2008
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- 49
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- 2
Quit looking for approval and know you're good already. Stop looking for people's reactions.
MotownMack
Senior Don Juan
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- Mar 23, 2008
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Also, it sounds like you're waiting for them to show the first IOI.
So many girls will not do this, not without eye contact, a smile, etc.. from you first. THEN look to see if your IOI is reciprocated. This is especially true if she's has no clue who the hell you are.
And yes, I think it's a safe bet that of all places in the world, NYC is one of the least conservative. It would not at all surprise me if the girls there were more aggressive than other places. You may have to adjust to your new surrounds and just accept that in a lot of places, the norm is for the guy to show interest first.
So many girls will not do this, not without eye contact, a smile, etc.. from you first. THEN look to see if your IOI is reciprocated. This is especially true if she's has no clue who the hell you are.
And yes, I think it's a safe bet that of all places in the world, NYC is one of the least conservative. It would not at all surprise me if the girls there were more aggressive than other places. You may have to adjust to your new surrounds and just accept that in a lot of places, the norm is for the guy to show interest first.
nismo-4
Moderator
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If you're in Dallas, you should have no problem meeting chicks. Wear a cowboys shirt! Strut while you walk! You still have to approach and don't wait for a woman to make a move on you, highly unlikely.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
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- Jun 22, 2007
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Yeah I've always wondered why guys I don't know compliment me alot while girls rarely compliment me, even if I know them. I guys some DJs are chick magnets and other DJs are dick magnets.
Entropy4
Don Juan
If you're ****ing huge (which would explain why guys compliment you), you may actual be a bit intimidating to girls. Be kind and playful with them and you'll get some good reactions.
AND STOP SEEKING PEOPLE'S APPROVAL. If you're acting this needy in set, it explains why you aren't getting IOI's.
AND STOP SEEKING PEOPLE'S APPROVAL. If you're acting this needy in set, it explains why you aren't getting IOI's.
My dressing is good, better than most I see in the bars (although they probably think the same thing). I may not stand out enough and I should make more eye contact when I go out. I hear Dallas is a good place so I may go there sometime.
In my experience if other (straight) dudes are telling you that you look good and you should be swimming in ***** that means the women are thinking the same thing. They want you to talk to them but you have to make the first IOI. Start with eye contact.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
TheRealSupreme
Banned
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- Dec 18, 2007
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- 376
- Reaction score
- 18
Maybe it is in the way your dressed or the colors you choose.
Look at what this shirt does to my eyes:
http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/9035/eyesbluess3.jpg
Notice the use of color in this shot of me lecturing at Borders:
http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/2893/dsc00232wv2.jpg
or try another color as long as it makes you stand out from the crowd:
http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/8594/dsc00552um5.jpg
What geeks and nerds do not realize is that color is one of the ways to attract a woman's eye to you. So don't fall into that trap and learn to use whatever you have to your advantage in pulling a woman's eye to you.
Look at what this shirt does to my eyes:
http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/9035/eyesbluess3.jpg
Notice the use of color in this shot of me lecturing at Borders:
http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/2893/dsc00232wv2.jpg
or try another color as long as it makes you stand out from the crowd:
http://img530.imageshack.us/img530/8594/dsc00552um5.jpg
What geeks and nerds do not realize is that color is one of the ways to attract a woman's eye to you. So don't fall into that trap and learn to use whatever you have to your advantage in pulling a woman's eye to you.
Fvck IOIs.
Hot girls will ALWAYS try their best to hide that they are interested in you. That's how they filter out the real men.
Listen to supreme about the clothing and then just approach in a manly way.
IOIs or not.
Hot girls will ALWAYS try their best to hide that they are interested in you. That's how they filter out the real men.
Listen to supreme about the clothing and then just approach in a manly way.
IOIs or not.
The Deacon
Senior Don Juan
He's got a good point. Some girls are just plain fvcking ice queens that secretly want you to win them over with your charm. There are some hot chicks who are really sweet, though. Ice queens tend to be the ones who get hit on the MOST.ChrizZ said:
Collectively we should do something about that. I'm not going to reward their bad behaviour by giving them attention. I only openly hit on bubbly or pleasant girls. Ice queens can either open up and lose the b!tch face, or get fvcked.The Deacon said:
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
If you think you are 5' 9" but you get a few 'short comments' sometimes then that probably means you are actually 5' 8". Most people either lie about height, or just think they are taller based on others' lying about theirs.SamMalone said:
MM
MooseGod
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
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- 785
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If you go to Dallas, be sure to hit up the Lizard Lounge. Seriously, if you can't get laid there, you might as well become a monk. One of my buds caught a chick as she fell off the stage and ****ed her in the parking lot. I was feeling pretty shy that night and still ended up making out with several chicks and getting a few numbers.nismo-4 said:
Make sure you go for Naughty Schoolgirl or Badass *****es night too...fun times.