For me, the disinterest/hard to get signals show up at one particular time; when she figures she has the upper hand in the dating relationship.
Example: Go out with a girl a couple of times, have great conversation, you feel the sexual attraction, etc, etc. During the third date you decide to assert yourself and attempt to walk her up to the door (a lead in for a goodnight kiss; she knows it, I know it) and she tells you it's not necessary. WTF? The vibes were there.
Up to that point, she had returned your calls promptly when you left messages, offered alternate times she was available for dating if you suggested a day when she was busy, etc. etc. Now calls aren't returned until AFTER the weekend, say on Sunday night (3-4 days after they were placed) when there is less chance of doing something significant. I'm in school, so the weekends are really my only free time, and she knows this. The next time you ask for a date, she has "a big test to study for."
Now, I know there are a lot of other fish in the sea, and unless I'm really attracted I don't care that much. I'll admit sometimes I am, though, and some really intelligent women play this game very well. I have a weakness for smart chicks (sex with them is usually fantastic).
I figure if I walk away, then they attempt to contact me after I don't call for a few weeks, I know where I stand, and I'll ask them out. Trouble is, a lot of women that finally admitted they are very interested wouldn't even do that much. The only way I figured it out was that after being absent for, say, six months, they would comment to a mutual friend that I was hot or was "one of the best guys I've ever dated." I figure the reason is that they never returned a call that I didn't initiate first, and to call me for any reason (even after giving ME the cold shoulder) would seem "desperate" (sounds like "Rules Girls" don't they? I run into this **** a lot). That ******* book should be used to bludgeon the idiot women authors who wrote that trash.
Of course, by that time, I'm pretty pissed off about it and won't give them the time of day for a date. Their loss, but a few of the women were really good people aside from their hard to get disfunctionality. How do I know? Hung out with them in my group of friends and got to really know them, strictly platonically, of course.
So back to topic: I appreciate that it's really hard to tell the difference. God knows I can't.
Any other advice/comments appreciated.
And yes, PR Moon, just as you said, they are reserved about expressing any open affection before they start playing games/showing disinterest. The sexual tension is there, but any conscious displays of affection or attraction are absent. It would help if I could read signals better, but I have to pay attention to what they DO, not how they ACT. Or is that reversed? Who the hell knows with women.
My favorite quote:
Why do women have *******? So men will talk to them!
