"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Still a SUCKER

Juando

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I SHOULD KNOW BETTER DEPT:

Ok, I've been around enough now to not be fooled but-

I went to dinner with a friend, not looking for anything but good food and my friend's company.

However, the waitress, early 20's, was not only the cutest, but friendliest dish on the menu. Guys, she practically sat on my lap with HIGH IL.

I won't go into detail, but I have not seen IL as high as this in a long time. I did get her info, no problem, but played it very cool. My friend said we should invite her to meet us after the place closes but I said, No I'll get in touch w/her later.

Here's why I'm posting: since enrolling in DJ school here, I've had a number of encounters with AWs and experiences with seemingly high IL/little or no response later, so I deliberately played it cool, did not get my expectations up. But I could not ignore this woman's enthusiasm, energy, walking us to the door, etc, so that:

despite all that, I am still amazed that the silence is deafening- zero response from her after a couple of attempts to contact her.

I will not call her again, but the only thing that could top this one is a notarized promise of a BJ, followed by the revelation of invisible ink on the document.

Perhaps I will cease to be amazed by women's behavior after this.:eek:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Juando

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Oops- I probably should have posted this on MM rather than here...
 

betterthandead

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I'm going to spit the truth. If you're old as your profile says (52 years of age) and she's in her 20s. She'll totally fall for you if you're some famous person or you're willing to be her sugardaddy. If not, forget about it. Another thing, that is gross man. Some really old guy hitting off on some much younger woman.
 

Juando

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betterthandead said:
I'm going to spit the truth. If you're old as your profile says (52 years of age) and she's in her 20s. She'll totally fall for you if you're some famous person or you're willing to be her sugardaddy. If not, forget about it. Another thing, that is gross man. Some really old guy hitting off on some much younger woman.
Thanks for sharing.

You totally missed my point. She hit on me.
She enthusiastically demonstrated and explicitly asked for the connection.

I forgot the morality police are on duty 24/7.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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YEE

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If she hasn't returned your calls forget it. Like dude said above she probably does that to make good tips.

I mean strippers are nice too aren't they? That's because that's how they have to act to get your money!
 

Juando

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The SS forum provides opportunities to vent, share information, get support, etc.

Right now I'm wondering why I bothered posting- i guess you win some and you lose some, LOL.

Just for my own sense of completion:

I have been to restaurants more than once or twice in my life. I have also known more than one or two women in my life, so I know extremely high IL when I experience it. I also know first hand that women are women and can act in irrational unpredictable ways.

But given that knowledge I was still surprised in this case, that's all.
So now my dynamic range in terms of experiencing High-Il-vs-Surprisingly-Low-Il-Response has been enriched and expanded, I am more sober about this dynamic than ever.

Perhaps most of you guys are ahead of me on this and what I'm describing is a big DUH to you, whatever, so be it.

I made the point that even while I was experiencing the high IL even though I was enjoying it, a part of me was detatched and objective.
Next time that detatched and objective part will be even more dominant, thanks to this experience.

Live and learn.
 

Juando

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UPDATE:

Almost a week later, my friend and I went back to the restaurant.

Yes, she was there.
It was much busier tonight, but she was still sweet. I was going to just let it go and not push for anything, but towards the end I asked her to meet me at another restaurant she recommended. She enthusiastically said "sure!".

So the first time I went I had no agenda, no expectations of anything besides a good dinner, but I did leave excited and with some expectations.

The second time I went with a bit of apprehension, curiosity and now ultimately no expectations.

I'm glad I had this experience- it has taught me to not be so reactive, to not put so much of an investment in what women say and how they act, especially at first.

Nothing like training in the field to teach you skills and even more importantly, perspective.
 
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