sticking point with intercourse

[happyguy]

Hello,

I am sort of a hybrid, 50% natural (more because women seem to like my education, accomplishments, social value etc, and I am used to holding my own with them), and 50% learned from the pickup community. I am fairly good at meeting and making out with very desirable women, I can get them all the way, oral, kinky games, fooling around naked etc., but I balk when it comes to intercourse.

I need some help with my inner game and perspectives to get over this block. I have gotten to the point where my outer game is so much more advanced than my inner game, and I am having to turn down a lot of opportunities because of the internal drama in my head.

Intercourse somehow feels very alien to me. I lost my virginity only when I was 23, and that has been the only time I have had it. I am 26 now. The way I see it, it might be my 'nice guy' feeling kicking in. I know I am seducing the woman and leading her for good measure, so having sex with her seems to me, in my head, to be abusing some kind of trust. Sometimes I wish the girl would just take charge and go for it. But no, I always lead the 'relationship', and I end up having to make the move towards intercourse, and I can't do it.

Can anybody understand my problem? I have learned to put on the manly vibes thanks to the community and lots of practice, but deep inside I am not really experienced with the stuff that happens after intercourse. I have heard about emotional attachments and drama and stuff... but I am scared of going there. Is sex not that big of a deal at all? It doesn't make you feel like scum for leading a lady on, having sex with her, then dumping her?

I badly need help guys. I will be very grateful for any advice.

Thanks.

 

[Interceptor]

You're having "Respect" issues.
You might be thinking too highly of women.
You might be having an "Idealized" Image of them.
Perhaps you think that Sex is dirty? Maybe you think that all women think Sex is dirty?
Maybe you feel that women don't want to be seduced, and don't realy want Sex after all? Which is completely wrong by the way.

You are having trouble reconciling your lust and sexual desire with a "respected" woman. Perhaps you have issues regarding your Mother, and how you view women now because of how you interacted with your Mother.
You feel that you want sex with this woman, but you don't want an LTR.
You just want Sex.
Perhaps this woman is not meant for "just sex"? Maybe you have an intuition that this woman will not be an FB or an NSA sex partner?
Maybe you feel she's only interested in a stabel, commited, and exclusive relationship? And you seem to not want that from her.

You are not abusing any trust by desiring her sexually.
Neither are you abusing her since you've not done anything abusive.
If you are in a "Friend Zone", then your intuition will tell you that any sexual escalation will be out of order here. The paradigm shift will not be natural or organic perhaps, sinice you let yourself slip into the Femenized zone. If she looks at you as a girlfriend, then you are in a very tough situation.
She doesn't fvck her girlfriends.
She will NEVER take charge and go for it.
Unless she is MADLY and DEEPLY in love with you and she fears letting you go.
You can't expect women to take their lead.
They may chase you, they WILL give you hints, and will put themselves in front of you to notice them.
But only women in established relationships will feel really comfortable taking you by the hand into the bedroom and fvkcing you.
That doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
It has actually happened to me.
But it's rare.
Part of seduction IS leading a woman into Sex.
You have to realize this and realize that there is NOTHING "Dirty" aout it.
In fact, you CANNOT ascribe to the principle of the Don Juan if you are NOT COMFORTABLE doing this. Even if you have to do it all the time, every time.

You are uncomfortable with the CONSEQUENCES of seducing a woman, having sex with her, and then you expect that they WILL fall in Love with you.
What if I told you that mayhe she won't?
What if I told you that maybe she will be perfectly fine after having sex with you and you just leave her?
You have problems with the word "Sex", because of you use of the word "Intercourse". This is a telling sign of just how uncomfortable the subject is foy you.
No one uses the word "Intercourse" unless they're embarassed to use the word "Sex" and ARE Embarassed about Sex.

Finally, you asking if it makes us feel "Like Scum" by using her for Sex is also, sadly, part of the life of a man.
We go through a little remorse sometimes, some of us. Not all, but some.
And yes, it happens. Women do get attached to you. Some women though, NOT ALL.

In know for me personally, I WILL NEVER FEEL LIKE "SCUM" FOR MY DESIRES as a Man.
I will not be made to feel this way.
I do not regret or apologize for my masculinty. And my sexual desire is part of that.

Many of us go through this remorse.
But it's part of life.
And either you go for it, and do it. Or you follow your conscious and don't pursue a woman only for sex.
These are the consequences. These are things that many of us had to live with.
Yes, there are feelings of guilt.
But in the end, I didn't kill anyone. I wasn't in love with her. And she moved on with her life.
It would have been worse if I had stayed with her but never truly LOVED her the way she deserved to be loved.
You alsio have to think about yourself.
We as masculine men, MUST have "Sexual Confidence".
We must develop sexual skils, and have experience. We also should have skills in seduction, and be aware of how Attraction truly works.
This is part of your learnign process.
You either get Sexual Confidence YOUR way, or you get it as soon as possible
in any way you can.
One way can get you ther much sooner, but at a price. Unless you have no conscience. (Yes, women are hurt when we love them and leave them.)
The other way, may take a lot longer. Because they're on certain standers, certain terms must be met. These may not be common, or frequent.


You pick.

You either have the guts to take it.
(Masculine Men are ALWAYS "Leaders")

Or you take your time and get it on your "Terms".

Good luck.

 

[strong like bull]

i know where youre coming from. ive been with girls who i had to lead and initiate everything. girls who might be really into you, or in a relationship even love you, but they are too "shy" or "proper" to make strong moves of their own. of course they'll let you do whatever you want to them, cause they love ya, but more or less lay there waiting to be taken.

ive also had the type of girls who take matters into their own hands. a while back i was dating this hot asian lady loved to fvck even more than i did. we'd have great sex before bed, and in the mornings id wake up to her going down on me. by the time i wake up and realize it she'd had already jumped on top of me and started riding me. it was great! she was a bit older (30) and probably been fvcking since she was in her late teens... i think a lot of it has to do with her being experienced, knowing what she likes and how she likes it. whereas younger girls (closer to virgin the moreso) tend to not really know whats going on.

at the moment im dating a very inexperienced girl. shes a lot of fun and ive been real patient with her and shes a big sweetheart, but sometimes its a bit frustrating.

as for the intercourse, i think it depends on the girl. a lot of girls are down for no strings attached sex. and if theyre down, you shouldnt feel guilty about joining them for a night of guilt-free fun. my hot asian girl was in kind of girl. even though she wanted to settle down with me, sex for her was a physical experience. she was a savvy businesswoman, and she had a lot of pent up energy. sex was mostly about the release.

and at the same time, some girls really get into caring about you and wanting to fall in love. sex for them is mostly an extension of that emotional bond. its about the emotional comfort and connection to you. my inexperienced sweetheart is this kind of girl. when we roll around in bed i get the "i love you" eyes nonstop.

as always, it all comes down to you and what you want. yes, i would feel guilty about LEADING ON an innocent sweetheart, just to get in her pants. no, i wouldnt feel guilty if a hot girl and i partied and jumped in the pool naked and had (SAFE!!) no-strings-attached sex. sex itself is only as big of a deal as you and your girls make it up to be. it can be a purely physical release, or an emotional (or spiritual) bonding.

my advice would be for you to be clear on exactly where you stand with the girl before you slay it. there should be no confusion in your head.

-SLB

 

[happyguy]

Wow! Thank you so much for your replies Interceptor and Strong. The small element of vulnerability and humanity was something that was missing when reading the pickup forums...

I understand the lust and passion, have had quiet a few ONS's, but my real problem is the actual 'f**king' part. The current situation I am in, I will need to take Strongs advice. The girl is my roommate (only for another month), not very experienced, and looks up to me in the bedroom. That is what I was feeling more confused than usual. I want to downgrade it to a friendly zone and talk things with her. I might attempt escalating again after a week or so. She is the sweetheart type.

Interceptors questions hit hard. I have a lot of the problems you mention in your list. I respect women. Not for any stupid reason, but just for the fact that I respect people and their lives. So I definitely cannot impose myself on a woman who was not willing and ready. I DO feel something dirty about the act of sex. Everything leading to that is playful and fun to me, but the actual act of penetrating and sex feels uncultured, dominant (of the male), and too base/animalistic. I guess that is something I just need to get used to.

I think I also need to modify my game to attract women who are more outgoing and confident about their sexuality. The kinds of women I game tend to be the hot-but-intellectual types (grad students, doctors, professors and the like), and it is not helping me get over my sex mental block. I think I need to take a few months break and do the club circuit and develop my game there before I come back to my comfort zone. I am going to set getting over my mental block as the goal for the next few months. I will post my results here. I will need more help figuring out the inner game as I proceed.

Thanks for the help so far.

 

[Boschy]

I'd say whatever you do, you need to sort this out before it becomes a chronic hang up.