Sticking point: Getting women to take me seriously for more than just sex.

[OneofOne]

Some background for perspective's sake:
I used to be a very serious-minded, nose to the grindstone, by-the-book kind of guy. This was how I was raised. The old "Work hard, don't **** around" mentality.

Now I'm much more care-free, spontaneous, & fun-loving. This is how I feel comfortable, this is my natural personality.

Women seem to eat up my funny, witty & admittedly ****y demeanor, I guess because they can see that I'm comfortable in my own skin. I am getting good results now as far as closes go, (and encountering a few crazies along the way lol), but I do find myself wanting more sometimes with a woman.

I seem to have sabotaged myself here because I keep hearing things along the lines of "Everything is just a joke to you, I can never take you seriously." or "You're such a little player, why would you want ME?"

I'm wondering how to go about conveying a "serious side" for lack of a better term, without actually losing my own personality in the process.

Any advice gents?

 

[Falcon25]

I had this problem for a while. And like you, I had a lot of success. But I ran into "you're a player" and "you don't care about anything but yourself". I suggest you become GENUINE with women. Meaning, don't change anything that you are doing but actually step up your game by complimenting a woman on something like not just her looks, but the fact that she is easy to talk to or smart or etc. Also, you should do stuff for people. It's okay to do favors for women or your friends. Show your sensitive side too. If you like donating stuff to charity or if you like helping people, do it. This will make you more genuine. If she needs a ride, do it. Pick her up one time. Don't lose the ****iness but be a little more genuine. You want to be the guy that people will say "that dude gets a lot of ass but he is real cool and nice to be around". You are stuck in the "****y, sexy, but MAY BE FAKE, category". Step it up. Try being a nice person to be around. It's hard to explain but if you add this "niceness" to your personality, you will be unstoppable. People on these forums think nice guys don't get laid. It's the nice guys with no personality or no confidence that don't get laid. You have two out of three. Be genuine. Talk about your family, open up to women. Tell them your goals, your dreams, how you grew up, what you like, dislike. Don't let them talk all the time. NEVER talk about feelings. Just about your EXPERIENCES. Be truly interested in what a woman tells you about her life. Make it like an experiment. Ask her questions. Don't fake it. Ask cause you want to know more about the world, about women, about a human being. It's a great learning experience. It also shows that you care about people. But don't lose your edge. Be ****y and confident. Your personality was exactly like mine when I entered college. I was a bookworm and had no life. But then I had a complete change of character and have had great success. I stepped it up by being genuine and real.

 

[FreD_BeaR]

I had this problem for a while. And like you, I had a lot of success. But I ran into "you're a player" and "you don't care about anything but yourself". I suggest you become GENUINE with women. Meaning, don't change anything that you are doing but actually step up your game by complimenting a woman on something like not just her looks, but the fact that she is easy to talk to or smart or etc. Also, you should do stuff for people. It's okay to do favors for women or your friends. Show your sensitive side too. If you like donating stuff to charity or if you like helping people, do it. This will make you more genuine. If she needs a ride, do it. Pick her up one time. Don't lose the ****iness but be a little more genuine. You want to be the guy that people will say "that dude gets a lot of ass but he is real cool and nice to be around". You are stuck in the "****y, sexy, but MAY BE FAKE, category". Step it up. Try being a nice person to be around. It's hard to explain but if you add this "niceness" to your personality, you will be unstoppable. People on these forums think nice guys don't get laid. It's the nice guys with no personality or no confidence that don't get laid. You have two out of three. Be genuine. Talk about your family, open up to women. Tell them your goals, your dreams, how you grew up, what you like, dislike. Don't let them talk all the time. NEVER talk about feelings. Just about your EXPERIENCES. Be truly interested in what a woman tells you about her life. Make it like an experiment. Ask her questions. Don't fake it. Ask cause you want to know more about the world, about women, about a human being. It's a great learning experience. It also shows that you care about people. But don't lose your edge. Be ****y and confident. Your personality was exactly like mine when I entered college. I was a bookworm and had no life. But then I had a complete change of character and have had great success. I stepped it up by being genuine and real.

Thats one of the best posts and the best advice i've seen on this forum. It takes a while to figure it all out.