It's been a long while since I first discovered this world of seduction. If not for the wealth of knowledge and advice from the DJ community, I would have tragically lived as an AFC and attempted to win girls over by laying down and inviting them to walk over me.
Fortunately, I understood and adopted the core concepts of "improving myself on all fronts", "being of value", "confidence-fun(ny)", "kino/physical escalation" etc., and had varying levels of success and a number of mid-term relationships.
Hence, I'm not a PUA or even a DJ in the strictest sense. Simply a man working on himself, enjoying female companionships and seeking to maintain one for the long-term.
However, an inability to keep my girl through a very similar scenario/crisis has become a pattern through the years. Let me first preface that I understand the "game" never ends, and it is my duty to always remain interesting etc. Additionally, I also grant my girlfriends reasonable "space" and avoid displaying signs of jealousy. So, here's the setup:
- Attractive (looks or personality) guy who has no qualms about hitting on a publicly attached girl shows up in our lives.
- My girlfriend entertains his interest
- I notice, appear unfazed, but tighten my game (improving whatever I can on MYSELF and garner new female attention to keep my value up)
- Most times, my girlfriend ends the flirting at this point and returns firmly back to our relationship. No harm done, I understand the dating world is about seeking the best mate.
- Tragically, sometimes it does not end here and eventually leads to our break-up. Here's how:
- Flirting (emotional cheating?) in various form continues, and one day a situation that I feel has crossed the line occurs. Since me and my girlfriend are in a mutually agreed exclusive relationship, I expect her to respect us, me and herself. Therefore I call her on it, and her response is either denial or apology.
- Either case, it doesn't matter. I will always step back for awhile (a week or 2), because from my perspective, she has to understand consequences follows if she doesn't know how to respect and behave.
- On reflection, I realised this step might be my undoing. I might appear to be "sulking" (thin line, but AFC behaviour) and worse of all, opening up more opportunities for the other guy.
- One of two things happen then. 1.) We get back together, and our relationship improves through time, until the next guy appears and the scenario repeats. 2.) Our relationship plateaus, we break off and she either gets on with, or more commonly, not with the other guy.
- I know that a "cold war" or break-up doesn't end the "game", at this point I would usually engage myself in a new pursuit and/or girls, and this would eventually reach her through friends or photos. So yes, sometimes the girlfriend realises her loss and attemps to reconcile, but by then, the memories of our relationship has already been tarnished, and my pride forbids me to return. I don't feel she's worth it or that there would be any future.
Fortunately, I understood and adopted the core concepts of "improving myself on all fronts", "being of value", "confidence-fun(ny)", "kino/physical escalation" etc., and had varying levels of success and a number of mid-term relationships.
Hence, I'm not a PUA or even a DJ in the strictest sense. Simply a man working on himself, enjoying female companionships and seeking to maintain one for the long-term.
However, an inability to keep my girl through a very similar scenario/crisis has become a pattern through the years. Let me first preface that I understand the "game" never ends, and it is my duty to always remain interesting etc. Additionally, I also grant my girlfriends reasonable "space" and avoid displaying signs of jealousy. So, here's the setup:
- Attractive (looks or personality) guy who has no qualms about hitting on a publicly attached girl shows up in our lives.
- My girlfriend entertains his interest
- I notice, appear unfazed, but tighten my game (improving whatever I can on MYSELF and garner new female attention to keep my value up)
- Most times, my girlfriend ends the flirting at this point and returns firmly back to our relationship. No harm done, I understand the dating world is about seeking the best mate.
- Tragically, sometimes it does not end here and eventually leads to our break-up. Here's how:
- Flirting (emotional cheating?) in various form continues, and one day a situation that I feel has crossed the line occurs. Since me and my girlfriend are in a mutually agreed exclusive relationship, I expect her to respect us, me and herself. Therefore I call her on it, and her response is either denial or apology.
- Either case, it doesn't matter. I will always step back for awhile (a week or 2), because from my perspective, she has to understand consequences follows if she doesn't know how to respect and behave.
- On reflection, I realised this step might be my undoing. I might appear to be "sulking" (thin line, but AFC behaviour) and worse of all, opening up more opportunities for the other guy.
- One of two things happen then. 1.) We get back together, and our relationship improves through time, until the next guy appears and the scenario repeats. 2.) Our relationship plateaus, we break off and she either gets on with, or more commonly, not with the other guy.
- I know that a "cold war" or break-up doesn't end the "game", at this point I would usually engage myself in a new pursuit and/or girls, and this would eventually reach her through friends or photos. So yes, sometimes the girlfriend realises her loss and attemps to reconcile, but by then, the memories of our relationship has already been tarnished, and my pride forbids me to return. I don't feel she's worth it or that there would be any future.