Sticking point: balance between PU and normal life

[OnTheWayUp]

Hi there,

Discovering PUA material back in October has had an awesome effect on my dating life. I've gone from being a terminally single virgin to losing the v-card, having an abundance mentality, making out with loads of random girls and dates with about 25 different girls in the space of 6 months. I am eternally grateful to this site and others for giving me an insight into how girls' minds work. I have discovered a degree of self-respect and an "I don't give a ****" mentality which will serve me well in every area of life, not just with girls.

However, these achievements have not been without cost. Spending hours at a time thinking about how to deal with my oneitis (something I think most people here have been through), thinking strategically about how to plan dates, logistics for sexual escalation and, not least of all, having a very full social life for the first time.... these have all detracted from time I would otherwise have spent working on my degree/ planning my career. There is no doubt that, purely academically, I am in a worse position now than I was a year ago. I have also given up some of my sporting commitments due to a lack of time.

Then there are time management issues. If you want to go out and sarge 4-5 nights a week, which is what I've been doing, you tend to get up around 12 and go to bed around 3-4, later if it's an awesome party or you pull. Clearly, this is not particularly conducive to a healthy work routine. Whereas I used to go to the gym in the mornings, I now find not only that my mornings are typically spent in bed, but that I am so tired until about 6pm from my social life that I don't go to the gym nearly as much as I used to.

How do you guys go about reconciling your PUA side with your normal lifestyle?

 

[TheMale]

don't be obsess by your PU material ... and practicing !

 

[OnTheWayUp]

don't be obsess by your PU material ... and practicing !

I'm not obsessed. I think it's natural when you first start addressing this part of your life that you give it priority/ thought before everything else. I'm past that initial "information/ theory" stage now though- I understand everything about PU theory conceptually. It's just putting it into practice and regaining some form of balance between that side of my life and normality. That was the purpose of this thread.

Anyone else?

 

[PDubb75]

I am somewhat in the same position. At least the fact that: I am just starting out with this, so it is constantly on my mind and all I want to do is get out and try things.

The difference is, I work a full time job, so I can't be out late on week nights. Also, since starting some of this PUA stuff, I have spent MUCH more time at the gym (4-5 days/week). It has undoubtedly helped me with my confidence, so I make sure to make time for that. That really just leaves me with the weekends for night game, and a couple hours per week for day game.

I wish I had more time to get out, but there are things that are more important (job, health) and you need to recognize those things. I can't speak from experience, but it seems that the guys with the most success on this site are the ones that put other aspects of their lives above meeting women. And since you seem to be active with the theories on here, I am sure you have seen that too. My recommendation is to focus on other things a bit more. At least see how things progress that way. You may even notice that your game isn't hurt by this.

 

[Audiophile]

Hi there,

Discovering PUA material back in October has had an awesome effect on my dating life. I've gone from being a terminally single virgin to losing the v-card, having an abundance mentality, making out with loads of random girls and dates with about 25 different girls in the space of 6 months. I am eternally grateful to this site and others for giving me an insight into how girls' minds work. I have discovered a degree of self-respect and an "I don't give a ****" mentality which will serve me well in every area of life, not just with girls.

However, these achievements have not been without cost. Spending hours at a time thinking about how to deal with my oneitis (something I think most people here have been through), thinking strategically about how to plan dates, logistics for sexual escalation and, not least of all, having a very full social life for the first time.... these have all detracted from time I would otherwise have spent working on my degree/ planning my career. There is no doubt that, purely academically, I am in a worse position now than I was a year ago. I have also given up some of my sporting commitments due to a lack of time.

Strategically planning dates? Logistics? You should stop treating PU as a science and try to do it naturally. Picking up women isn't a science, it's a waste of time to try and think of every possible scenario and to plan for it. Instead, you should try and focus on improving yourself. I'm not telling you to stop going out and sarging, but you need to find a balance. Instead of going out at night 4-5 times a week, try limiting it to 1 or 2 at most, and use the rest of the time to work on yourself. Study, work out, etc...

You don't have to go out "sarging" to pick up women either, try talking to them (everyone for that matter) during the daytime, you'll be surprised how well you can do.


How do you guys go about reconciling your PUA side with your normal lifestyle?

I don't have a "PUA side"... I'm just myself. I feel as if you are really making PU a seperate part of your life, almost like a hobby.

Read this if you haven't > http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/The Book of Pook.pdf

 

[TheMale]

don't get me wrong
all that was saying by the other guys here ... thats what i meant !

don't make it an obsession is because you putting all your focus on women dating and PU stuff

i was one of that PUA and i was just like you hanging out every night a week (just because mystery said so) but i always felt that something wrong with that !

until i got here discovered the pook and decide to became natural

so be yourself just work to improve yourself and if you want sarging thats cool but dont put all your attention on it ...

 

[OnTheWayUp]

I am somewhat in the same position. At least the fact that: I am just starting out with this, so it is constantly on my mind and all I want to do is get out and try things.

The difference is, I work a full time job, so I can't be out late on week nights. Also, since starting some of this PUA stuff, I have spent MUCH more time at the gym (4-5 days/week). It has undoubtedly helped me with my confidence, so I make sure to make time for that. That really just leaves me with the weekends for night game, and a couple hours per week for day game.

I wish I had more time to get out, but there are things that are more important (job, health) and you need to recognize those things. I can't speak from experience, but it seems that the guys with the most success on this site are the ones that put other aspects of their lives above meeting women. And since you seem to be active with the theories on here, I am sure you have seen that too. My recommendation is to focus on other things a bit more. At least see how things progress that way. You may even notice that your game isn't hurt by this.

I think this is great advice, thanks man. This issue with how to manage my time has been on my mind a lot since I lost the v-card back in February, and I've come to pretty much the same conclusion as you. I need to focus on work and working out more than I'm doing at the moment. I'm hopeful that, since I now understand how to deal with women in theory, I'll be able to focus on more important things in life without the quality of my game being affected.

Another solution would be to get a gf/ regular FB: I have a couple of 5s throwing themselves at me currently. Even if I don't find them especially attractive, it would mean I can spend less time in bars/ clubs. Socialising (whilst great fun) has become somewhat of a full time job for me lately!