Stay at Home Dads

[Broham]

http://bostonworks.boston.com/globe/climb/archives/121105.shtml?p1=MEWell_Pos1

From the article: "Most men do not set out to be stay-at-home dads. They just want to have quality time with their kids. A survey by American Demographics revealed that 80 percent of male respondents ages 18 to 39 said a flexible job to accommodate kids takes a higher priority than doing challenging work or earning a high salary. The new stay-at-home version of dad is how they reach this goal."


What do you guys think about Stay at home Dads? Could they possibly act as the father figures that so many AFCs have been missing for years? Or, is this just another example of the rise of the feminist agenga? Let's discuss.

 

[wavejams007]

This is borderline anything else section, but an interesting topic to discuss. I personally support the tradtional stay at home mom with the bring-home-the-bacon dad. I feel that women are certainly capable of working and having a career, but they are more suited to family orientation then men. I think that at times men can be too logical and "emotionless" for lack of a better word, whereas moms can be more nurturing. That isn't to say that dads can't be fun and nurturing, but that it is far easier to get more sympathy out of moms. Will write more later.

 

[racerX]

Its almost impossible to start a family now & have a parent sit at home w/ the kiddies for one reason: overpriced housing. Houses in most of the country are $400k & up. Here in so cal you are looking at $650k for a decent house in a decent area. That will buy a 3 bed/2 bath 30 year old house in l.a. county. For a conventional, fixed rate loan you'll need $130k down payment & will need to pay around $2,300 a month mortgage for 30 years! Also factor in clothing, food, car payments, utilites & dont forget $10,000 a year for property taxes. Oh, & children cost a lot of $$$$ too. The working parent better be making $175,000 a year to pay for all that if you want the spouse to sit at home...

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by racerX
The working parent better be making $175,000 a year to pay for all that if you want the spouse to sit at home...

Pocket change for me...

 

[penkitten]

i think if a man wants to be a stay at home dad while the woman wants to go to work, then its still gotta be better than sending the kiddies off to a daycare however its not possible for all families.
if a man thinks he can do it, then by all means he should do it at least for a little while to spend some time with his child and bond. why the heck not?
it doesnt make him a sissy , it makes him a loving father. i know a guy like this and it all started when he took medical leave and he and his wife decided for him to continue to stay home. the kids excel in school since hes the one at home now.

however if it is just a dad wanting to not work, and doesnt do anything with his kids, sleeps in til noon while the kids run the neighborhood , microwaves dinner and drinks all night long, perhaps thats not a good role for him. i know another guy like this and i feel so sorry for his kids. hes divorced and his ex wife pays support and has visited one time in four years that i know of.


these two examples are ex brother in laws. total opposites.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

What do you guys think about Stay at home Dads?

It is no different then a stay home mom except the fact that it’s your father.

Could it change how the kids are raised? Yes.

To me the person who brings home the “beacon” is the MAN of the house. The leader of the pack. Now doesn’t mean the dad is AFC or not if he stays home. He could be just as stern as the Red Foremen on That 70’s Show. The children will see things much different depending on the sex.

If it’s a boy it shows humility that just because you are the Man doesn’t mean you have to be the “bread winner”. But the negative aspect is that his Dad is weak and possibly lazy.

For the girl she could take it as women have options either work, bread winner, or be the traditional housewife. No longer is it 50’s style. Or she can take it badly and think women are now becoming stronger then Men and this is how it opts to be.

I believe it has all to do with how the Father is at home. If he treats home seriously like as it was a paying job and the mom is still respectable and submissive to the father then they will take all the good aspects of it.

If the father is a total bum and weak and mom acts like she is the Man then that’s when it becomes a problem.

And that not only applies to Stay-home-dads but also for the moms too. If she is lazy, disrespectful in her husbands face or behind his back, unreasonably complains, and starts arguments then the child will think badly and think that’s how it will be or suppose to be.

Attitude, humility, submissiveness, and Sternness will be the key on BOTH parents to making it work.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by racerX
Houses in most of the country are $400k & up.

You and I are used to Cali's home prices, but there are MANY places in the nation where you can buy a house in the 5-figure range, that can be paid for with a blue collar job. I was checking out prices in Jackson, MS, for example, and many 900-1000 square foot houses, maybe bigger, are about 40,000-70,000 dollars. California is mostly an anomaly as far as housing prices.

 

[Abbott]

Originally posted by MetalFortress
You and I are used to Cali's home prices, but there are MANY places in the nation where you can buy a house in the 5-figure range, that can be paid for with a blue collar job. I was checking out prices in Jackson, MS, for example, and many 900-1000 square foot houses, maybe bigger, are about 40,000-70,000 dollars. California is mostly an anomaly as far as housing prices.

Is that a small dinky town? I know that one general trend is that small towns generally have cheaper housing (perhaps because no one wants to live there, and the rule of supply and demand?).

I can't imagine who'd want to live in a small dinky town, though many people apparently do. In my community (has about 100,000 people so it has most of what you need in town), you can get a decent three bedroom house for like $120-$150K. It's six figures, but still much better than $400K.


As far as stay at home fathers, I don't know about the rest of the crowd here, but it's something I flatly refuse to do. I'm a man, and it's my job to bring in money whether it's to support just myself or others in addition. As far as a stay at home wife, I'd only accept such a situation under certain conditions. Namely, they are:

- Must be completely submissive to me.
- Must do all household chores, since she wouldn't be earning money.
- When I come home, she better not expect me to help her extensively.
- Never, ever give me any feminist crap.

If she wants to be "fair," then she better have a job and earn some money. I'd be prepared to accept that and even help her out a little bit, but it still needs to be clear who's head of the household (namely, me).

Given the fact that there's serious feminism, and the fact that it's very expensive to support additional lifestyles, a stay-at-home wife is very unlikely. Obviously, two incomes supporting three or four people is cheaper and easier than one supporting two, three, or four, from a strictly financial standpoint.

As far as children, I don't have any right now, and I honestly don't plan to have any for a long, long time. But if I did, I'd still go to work. There's no question about it, it's my duty as a man. If this means that the children need to wait at school until 5:30PM before I pick them up, or if it means having children as soon as I retire and thus have no job, then so be it. When I was a child, I often waited well after school ended for my parents to pick me up, so I don't think it's wrong or unfair.

Why are we even talking about this?


My $.02,


Ben