Starting to lose my confidence - and lose women

[Brighty]

I guess I'm hitting a slump or something. I'm a senior in high school and I figured that this part of the forum would have wiser people in it that can maybe relate to this more than the high school section, so bare with me. Throughout high school, I've had my ups and downs with women in general. However, it wasn't until this semester - this last semester of high school - that I really kicked things into gear. I had a newfound sense of confidence and I ended up spitting game to this one girl who pretty much everyone thought was out of my league. She ended up giving me her number and on Valentines Day, I ended up taking her on a date, and it was a hell of a lot of fun. She, according to the general consensus of my friends, is the hottest girl in our grade and they couldn't believe I was hanging out with her.

I guess it was too good to be true, because a week or so later we stopped talking and she ended up getting with the "renowned alpha male" of our grade (you know, the most popular jock guy). It hurt, yeah, but I sort of expected not being to hang onto a high quality girl considering it was my first time dealing with a girl like that. I guess I wasn't ready for the position. Later, I ended up rebounding with another girl who was pretty attractive too, but she ended up liking another guy and I felt like I should cut it off there. Now, its been almost a month and a half since I've been out with a girl or even talked to one with a relationship in mind. I don't know, maybe its because senior year is almost over, maybe I feel like at least for the time remaining, the girls I'm into are out of my league because of who I was in my Freshman/Sophomore/Junior years. Once I get into college, I'll be able to pull better looking girls easily.

Lately, I've been in a rut. Prom is coming up, and a lot of my friends already have dates. Several girls that I feel are below me are trying to go with me, but I just can't feign interest. The idea of dropping all of this money on one night with a girl that I'm not even that into doesn't really appeal to me. I don't mind not going that much, but I feel like people will feel sorry for me if I don't go or something. I don't know, but lately I've just been feeling discouraged. I'm almost beginning to think that me pulling those two girls I mentioned above was a fluke and once they got to know the real me they flaked. I know it isn't true, but I can't deny that around girls I still have a horrendous time acting like myself. I have problems looking girls in the eye for prolonged periods of time and sometimes I unintentionally mumble. Even after all of this time, I still have trouble talking to girls and escalating things. Outside of school, the feeling of "I'm the shyt" returns, but when I'm at school, I almost feel like I'm not good enough.


I don't know, I felt like I was making amazing progress and I felt like I was ontop of the world not even two months ago, and now I feel like shyt. I don't know what the point of this post was - maybe looking for just reassurance from you guys, or a friendly pat on the back, or some advice to get me out of this rut, or just for me to vent, but man, I feel crappy. Anything you guys got would be much appreciated.

 

[WhtRbt]

Prom is for girls

 

[Hughman]

God my college's prom is retarded. As an all-male one we always collaborate with the nearby all-girl's one, but guess what, our senior prefect team (the top '15' in the year, but they weren't elected by the students) area bunch of AFCs and have given all the planning to the girls. £11k later, and tickets are costing us £37 each for 3 hours. Last year when the guys did it, tickets were £30 and there was an unlimited free bar.

You don't have to take a girl to Prom. I'm not going to. I'll probably go as it's the last chance to see some of my friends before uni, but it's after when I'll be gaming ; )


But back to your problem, don't feel bad. We've all been there. You've had something good and don't want to 'lower' yourself. Just try to think why you were the man 2 months ago and re-emulate it. Start talking to chicks again, get a few dates, feel in control again. Lose them, not the other way round.

 

[Exhumed]

I'm right where you are to some extent. What it probably is, is that you have pretty good game and can flirt, neg, dhv, etc. but then make some AFC mistakes when you're out with her or setting up get togethers. That and a little bad luck maybe. at least that's my analysis of my situation...don't let it get you down, figure out what you did wrong and select your next conquest haha

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Don't worry about nuts n bolts stuff like neg hits, dhv, etc. Concentrate on your inner game. Concentrate on yourself and what you do to further yourself in the world, not what some girl is doing. The nuts n bolts of seduction are the worldly manifestation of solid inner game, a confident man engages these tactics without thinking about it. If you're thinking too much about it, it will come off fake and incongruent from what she picks up from you subconsciously. Like I said, Inner Game. Concentrating on yourself and your own life will give you a life, and the ladies a man, worthy of being attracted to. Watch that Attachment to Outcome too. Solid inner game is the key to generating female attraction, it is the foundation everything else is built upon.

To the OP, it was telling to me that you wrote "it's been two months since I spoke to a girl with a relationship in mind." You need to cut that out altogether. Generating attraction and getting laid are one thing, but relationships and love ONLY come to you when you are not looking for them.

How many times have you heard that in your life? How many times have you seen it for yourself? Seriously man, concentrate on your own life and the love you possess for your passions and pursuits. You cannot direct the course of love. You may only make yourself a worthy candidate for love to guide your course.

 

[Cableguy]

Unbridled_Phoenix I thought your reply was excellent.

Brighty - Look holmes, you're going through growing pains man. Part of life. Focus on what the future has in store for you. You're worrying too much about the babes. Chicks can smell desperation. Chill. Change your priorities and put chasing tail at the bottom.

Inner game is something I feel very strongly about. A man who is secure and content with his life is a man that naturally attracts women. Think about what college will have in store for you. Focus on the positive things you have going for you instead of silly high school drama. It ain't the real world.

You're whole life is going to change when you get to college. Jeez, you're at a point in your life I would love to be again. Getting ready to start college? Are you kidding me? Dude, you should be stoked about that. You'll be just fine homie.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Don't worry about nuts n bolts stuff like neg hits, dhv, etc. Concentrate on your inner game. Concentrate on yourself and what you do to further yourself in the world, not what some girl is doing. The nuts n bolts of seduction are the worldly manifestation of solid inner game, a confident man engages these tactics without thinking about it. If you're thinking too much about it, it will come off fake and incongruent from what she picks up from you subconsciously. Like I said, Inner Game. Concentrating on yourself and your own life will give you a life, and the ladies a man, worthy of being attracted to. Watch that Attachment to Outcome too. Solid inner game is the key to generating female attraction, it is the foundation everything else is built upon.

To the OP, it was telling to me that you wrote "it's been two months since I spoke to a girl with a relationship in mind." You need to cut that out altogether. Generating attraction and getting laid are one thing, but relationships and love ONLY come to you when you are not looking for them.

How many times have you heard that in your life? How many times have you seen it for yourself? Seriously man, concentrate on your own life and the love you possess for your passions and pursuits. You cannot direct the course of love. You may only make yourself a worthy candidate for love to guide your course.

^ This man know ^